I am forty years old and I have not married yet; that does not bother me because I know that Allah (may He be Glorified and Exalted) has a wisdom in that.
However, the problem lies in my colleagues who bother me with looks of doubt and mistrust, claiming that I envy them for the bounty of marriage and children. I swear by Allah that I wish good for them, but their thinking makes them believe that I am jealous of them although they always complain about their husbands. It seems that they envy me for not having a husband and not bearing any responsibility.
Nevertheless, I give them my opinion and give them useful advices and counsels because of my frequent readings and knowledge about different family issues. I am no longer safe of their mockery because I did not try these matters before, and I always feel persecuted.
What is my fault if Allah does not destine for me to marry or have children like them?
Tell me something to help me overcome this crisis.
May Allah reward you the best.
Dear sister, Welcome to (Alukah) Website and thank you for your trust.
I have read your message, and I can understand what you feel and the harshness of your colleagues' mockery without a purpose; there is no doubt you shall have the great reward for observing patience.
I would like to refer to a very important point:
My dear Muslim sister, we are responsible for our feelings. We are the ones who decide how to interact with the winks and mockery of others. The talk and mockery of your colleagues are not the cause of what you feel, in fact there is another factor which we often neglect which is ourselves. How do we look at their speech and situation? How do we analyze it? What do we say to ourselves? How do we evaluate the importance of their sayings to us?
Always remember the golden base which says: "Events do not make feelings, but the way in which we look at events makes our feelings."
This interprets the different feelings of a group of people toward the same event. For example, firing of job may be
● A disaster for some people: "I was fired from work, I am a loser."
● A chance for another: "I was dismissed from work, perhaps it is a chance for a better offer."
● A feeling of guilt: "I was dismissed from work, who shameful that I did not exert all my efforts to keep it."
I want you to revise the ideas which are going on in your mind about their claims and mockery and see how do you look to yourself. With close observance and correction to these ideas and by the passage of time your psychological skills develop and you shall master the art of dealing with others.
May Allah guide you to all good.