I have a problem which is: I feel that people prefer my sister over me because she is more beautiful. However, I am not that ugly, my color is a little bit dark, but I praise Allah for His Bounty.
People always meet me with gloomy faces, but when they meet my sister, they smile at her face although I prim up but I cannot find a good impression.
I do not hate my sister and I feel that she is like my mother, not just a sister.
I hope you could advise so as not to hate myself, and tell me what to do?
Dear sister, it is beautiful of you to love your sister and do not let that feeling possess you and affect your relationship with her.
● It is also beautiful that you have not reached the stage of losing self-confidence where you said: "However, I am not that ugly, my color is a little bit dark, but I praise Allah for His Bounty."
However, you shall begin the stage of losing self-confidence if you do not overcome these feelings and you shall lose your confidence, so keep up your self-confidence and overcome your thinking and beliefs.
● It is also beautiful of you to get rid of your negative feelings and try to change them and this is the first step toward progress and treatment.
I shall remind you of some matters which will help you get rid of that feeling by the will of Allah (may He be Exalted):
1- First, I want to remind you of Allah's Saying: "Verily, the most honorable of you with Allâh is that (believer) who has At-Taqwâ [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqûn (the pious)]." [Surat Al Hujurat: 13].
And the Prophet's saying: "Verily, Allah does not look to your bodies nor to your faces but He looks at your hearts and your deeds." [Reported by Muslim].
2- Allah (may He be Exalted) said about the description of the hypocrites: "And when you look at them, their bodies please you; and when they speak, you listen to their words. They are as blocks of wood propped up." [Surat Al Munafiqun: 4].
First, you must be sure that outward shape does not reflect the inward of man, and a person is judged according to his pure heart, piety, and his character, and he shall be either beloved or hated by Allah and His Creation.
Second, be sure that people's looks at you are part of your estimation to yourself. A person who loves, respects, and estimates himself is beloved by others, whereas the person who looks down to himself is degraded by others even if they do not tell him because the look of man to himself is reflected and showed up through his dealings, speech, and trust in himself. So, if man has a self-confidence, he will not care for people's looks or their comments because he shall pity them, pity their superficiality, and pity their low interests.
So, search deep inside you for the points of power, show them to yourself, fix your goals, promote yourself, and participate in activities and sessions because that will strengthen your self confidence. Bear in mind that the most important thing in man is his heart, mentality, and personality.
Third, remember that Allah (may He be Glorified and Exalted) is just in His allocation of provisions and if He grants a person a bounty or a favor, He takes away another favor, and perhaps He would postpone this favor and blessing to the Hereafter for a reason which He knows because our minds cannot figure out all things because they may affect him badly or harm him. So, if we trust in the choice of Allah for us, we shall be content, convinced, and praise Allah for the abundant blessings in which we live while others wish to have some of them, so always remember how many blind people wish to see for a few moments! A deaf wishes to hear again!
Always put the Prophet's Hadith before your eyes: "Whosoever begins the day feeling family security and good health; and possessing provision for his day is as though he possessed the whole world."
You shall need some time to change your ideas, but I am confident with the help of Allah (may He be Exalted) that you shall succeed and bypass this problem because it is obvious from your message that you have a strong will and good determination to change. We shall wait for your latest developments.