As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).
Few days ago, I got a new job and I got to know new colleagues. My problem is: My colleagues speak too much and open many topics, whereas I feel strange amid them. The most important is that they noticed my silence and said to me: You keep silent a lot. It is worthy to mention that I have full confidence in myself and speak fluently with my friends whom I know.
What should I do? And how to match them in their talks?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
My valued son, as-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).
I congratulate you on your self-confidence and your serious desire for sound social communication, which are positive features that are counted for you, and I hope that you reinforce them.
However, these positive features should not make you rush events and get tense while waiting for results. You did not spend more than few days with your colleagues, and it still too early to build relationships with them and share ideas and thoughts.
It is true that there are some people who can do so very quickly, but I do not advise you to do so because you do not know the personal, intellectual, and social natures of your colleagues, which are hard to discover but through time and serious situations.
If you discover the bad manners of your colleagues, you shall be stunned and you shall not be able to communicate with them, and it will be hard to decrease your talks with them. Therefore, waiting and have balance in building personal relationships is good. These relationships are called (informal relationships) in the workspace, which are important to get to know better the features of the people around you so as to be able to choose the kind of talks you shall use and how deep your relationship should be with them according to what suits you, and that will make you avoid a lot of problems of work places.
On the other hand, kind treatment with those around you, avoidance of intrusion, and staying away from indulging in gossip will work to build a positive impression about you at your colleagues. Hence, you shall gain their love, respect, and appreciation, especially since you did not follow their mockeries and verbal provocations which you are now facing, and you adopted wise negligence of what is bothering you.
I conclude with invoking Allah (Glory be to Him) to grant you good company, open the gates of His Bounty to you, and make you useful; and we will be happy to hear again from you.