As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)
I am a girl who became Muslim one year ago, thanks to Allah. However, there is something bothering me which is: I fear that Allah would not forgive me for what I did before Islam.
I know that Islam effaces previous sins, but I committed adultery several times before Islam.
Adultery was not shameful in the Christian environment where I used to live, especially in the university where I was a beautiful and rich girl.
Now, thanks to Allah, I am married and pregnant. My husband is a religious Muslim -praise be to Allah- but by Allah I feel shame before him when I recall the past and as soon as I see something from the past, I have psychological problems such as panic and sometimes vomit.
My question is: Will Allah forgive what I did before Islam even if those mistakes were several times of fornication?
How to get rid of my psychological case?
Another question: I am a doctor and I work in a hospital, is it permissible for me to treat sick males, taking into consideration that I live in a European country?
All praise be to Allah and peace be upon His Messenger, upon his family, his Companions, and those who follow him.
All praise be to Allah who granted us the grace of Islam, and how grace it is which deserves gratitude! From the grace and mercy of Allah is that He made Islam a removal of sins, so when an infidel becomes a Muslim, Allah forgives everything he did before and would become free of sins.
Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "Say to those who have disbelieved, if they cease (from disbelief), their past will be forgiven." [Surat Al Anfal: 38].
Allah (Exalted be He) says: "How shall Allâh guide a people who disbelieved after their belief and after they bore witness that the Messenger (Muhammad peace be upon him) is true and after clear proofs had come to them? And Allâh guides not the people who are Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers). * They are those whose recompense is that on them (rests) the Curse of Allâh, of the angels, and of all mankind. * They will abide therein forever (under the curse in Hell), their punishment will neither be lightened, nor will they be reprieved. * Except for those who repent after that and do righteous deeds. Verily, Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Surat Al `Imran: 86 - 89].
Allah says: "And those who invoke not any other ilâh (god) along with Allâh, nor kill such person as Allâh has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse - and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. * The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; * Except those who repent and believe (in Islâmic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allâh will change their sins into good deeds, and Allâh is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Surat Al Furqan: 68 - 70].
The cause of revelation of these Ayahs was the same as your state. It was reported by Ibn `Abbas that a group of polytheists killed some people, committed adultery, then came to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) saying: Whatever you say and invite people to is good: but we wish if you could inform us whether we can make an expiration for our (past evil) deeds." So, the Divine Ayahs were revealed.
`Amr ibn Al `As (may Allah be pleased with him) said: When Allah instilled the love for Islam in my heart, I went to Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: "Extend your right hand, so that I pledge allegiance to you." He (peace be upon him) stretched out his right hand, but I withdrew my hand. He said: "What is the matter, `Amr?" I said: I wish to lay down some conditions. He asked: "What conditions do you wish to put forward?" I replied: "To be granted forgiveness." He said: "Do you not know that (embracing) Islam wipes out all that has gone before it” (previous misdeeds).
(Verily, Islam wipes out previous misdeeds) i.e., abolishes its effect as reported by An-Nawawy (may Allah bestow mercy on his soul).
He also said in "Sharh Muslim: "The repentance of the unbeliever from his unbelief is no doubt accepted, but other types of repentance are either accepted or not? There is a disagreement among scholars of Ahl As-Sunnah in this regard, however Imam Al Haramayn adopted the view of "other types of repentance are doubted [whether accepted or not]," which is the most correct. And Allah knows best!"
So, be cheerful with goodness because you repented of disbelief and apostasy. Islam effaces previous misdeeds and wipes out the past sins.
Keep away from these obsessions and recite the Qur'an frequently with contemplation and mention Allah because mentioning Allah will remove what you feel.
As for treating sick men, it is not permissible as long as there are male doctor, but if there is no other doctors, you may do that for necessity.