Admit Your Faults And Do Not Be Arrogant (1/2)

Many problems that cause enmity to continue for a year or two years, or perhaps for life, can easily be solved by one person saying to another,

• “I made a mistake. I am sorry.”

• “Yes, I did not make it to the appointment.”

• “Yes, I made a bad joke.”

• “Yes, I said hurtful things.”

Be quick to put out the fire before it is set ablaze. Say, “I am sorry. I owe you an apology.” You would only feel better after apologising.

There occurred an argument between Abu Dharr and Bilal – may Allah be pleased with them both – and even though they were both Companions of the Prophet (Peace be upon him), they were still human.

During the argument, Abu Dharr became angry and said to Bilal, “O son of a black woman!” Thereupon, Bilal complained to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him). The Prophet (Peace be upon him) called Abu Dharr and said, “Did you insult Bilal?”

He replied, “Yes.”

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, “Did you mention his mother?”

He replied, “When someone is insulted, usually his father and mother are also mentioned, O Messenger of Allah!”

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) replied, “You are a man with traits of pre-Islamic ignorance.”

He asked, “Even when I am this old?”

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) replied, “Yes.”

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) then taught him the manner in which he should deal with those who may be seen as below his social status, saying, “They are only your brothers. Allah has placed them in your care. And whoever Allah places in one’s care then let him feed him with what he eats himself, clothe him with what he clothes himself. Let him not overburden him with that which he cannot bear. And if he does overburden him, then let him lend him a hand.”

What did Abu Dharr do then?

Abu Dharr went to see Bilal and apologised. He sat on the ground in front of Bilal and he became closer to the ground until he rested his cheek on the dust, and said, “O Bilal! Put your foot on my cheek!” (Reported by Muslim)

This is how eager the Companions were to set out the flames of enmity before they became strong, and even if they became strong, they would do their best to prevent them from spreading.

A disagreement took place between Abu Bakr and ‘Umar, where Abu Bakr made ‘Umar angry. ‘Umar went away from Abu Bakr in a state of anger. When Abu Bakr saw this, he regretted it and feared that the situation may exacerbate. Thus he went after ‘Umar saying, “Forgive me, O ‘Umar!” But ‘Umar refused to turn to him.

Abu Bakr kept apologising and following ‘Umar until he reached his home and shut the door in Abu Bakr’s face. Upon this, Abu Bakr went to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him).

When the Prophet (Peace be upon him) saw him coming from afar, he noticed something different about him and said, “This Companion of ours seems to be in trouble.”

Abu Bakr sat down quietly, and it wasn’t long until ‘Umar also regretted his mistake. May Allah be pleased with them all! How pure were their hearts!

‘Umar headed to the Prophet’s gathering, greeted everyone and sat down next to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and told him the story, along with how he turned away from Abu Bakr and did not accept his apology.

The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) became angry. When Abu Bakr saw his anger, he began to say, “By Allah, O Messenger of Allah! This is only because I was the wrongdoer. I was the wrongdoer!”

He began to defend and make excuses for ‘Umar.

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, “Will you leave my Companion alone? Will you leave my Companion alone? When I said, ‘O people! I am the Messenger of Allah to you all’, all of you said, ‘You have lied!’ yet Abu Bakr said, ‘You have spoken the truth!’” (Reported by al-Bukhari)

Be careful not to be from those who rectify others while corrupting their own souls. Such people go around in circles with their faults like a donkey going around a mill.

Hence, if you ever are in a position to advise others or be an example to them, such as a teacher with his students, a father or a mother with his or her children, then think as if you are under the watch of your customers. Everyone is monitoring you.

Always discipline yourself as much as possible. The same applies to a couple dealing with each other.

(Continued)