Showing kindness to parents

Praise be to Allah alone and peace be upon the last Prophet.

The right of parents is great, therefore Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) correlated it with His Own Right and the texts of the Qur'an and the Sunnah support one another in exhorting people to treat them kindly and warn them against their disobedience. Dear Muslim brother, here are some virtues of filial obedience and the prohibition of disobeying them:

1- Allah correlated His Right with theirs: Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents." [Surat Al Isra': 23]. Allah (Exalted be He) says: "Give thanks to Me and to your parents." [Surat Luqman: 14].

2- Allah commanded people with good accompaniment and kind treatment to them even if they are disbelievers: Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience." [Surat Luqman: 15]. It was reported in Sahih Muslim on the authority of Asma', the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, who said: "My mother came to me while she was still a polytheist, so I asked Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), my mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. Shall I maintain relations with her? He (peace be upon him) replied: Yes, maintain relations with your mother." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim].

3- Showing kindness is part of Jihad: `Abdullah ibn `Amr narrated: "A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him: Are your parents alive? He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to him, then exert yourself in their service." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim].

It was reported in some Hadiths that showing kindness to them is advanced to Jihad. It was reported in the Hadith of Ibn Mas`ud narrated: "I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) Which deed is the dearest to Allah? He replied: To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times. I asked: What is the next (in goodness)? He replied: To be good and dutiful to your parents. I again asked: What is the next (in goodness)? He replied: To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim].

4- Their obedience is one of the conditions of entering Paradise: Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) saying: "May his nose be rubbed in the dust, may his nose be rubbed in the dust, may his nose be rubbed in the dust. It was said: Who, O Messenger of Allah? He said: The one whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime and he does not enter Paradise." [Reported by Muslim]. Abu Ad-Darda' narrated: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) saying: "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it." [Reported by At-Tirmidhy who said: An authentic Hadith. Ibn Hibban and Al Albany regarded it as authentic.

Mu`awiyah ibn Jahimah reported that Jahimah came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: I wanted to participate in battles but I came to consult you? He said: Is your mother alive? He said: Yes. Thereupon, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Keep close to her, for Paradise is under her feet. [Reported by Ahmad and Al Hakim, and Al Albany said: A good and authentic Hadith]. It was also reported by At-Tabarany in Al Mu`jam Al Kabir with the wording "Are your parents alive?" I said: Yes. He said: Keep close to them, for Paradise is under her feet. [Al Mundhiry said about the chain of transmission of At-Tabarany: A good chain of transmission].

5- The pleasure of Allah is achieved by the pleasure of parents: `Abdullah ibn `Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: "The pleasure of Allah is achieved by the pleasure of parents, and the wrath of Allah is achieved by the wrath of the parents." [Al Albany graded it as good].

6- Showing kindness to them is the cause for forgiving sins: Ibn `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that a man came to the Prophet and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have committed a great sin, can I repent from it? The Prophet asked: Is your mother alive? He said: No. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked: Do you have a maternal aunt? The man replied: Yes. Thereupon, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Then be dutiful to her." [Reported by At-Tirmidhy and Al Albany graded it as authentic]. Malik ibn `Amr said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever releases a Muslim, his action shall be his ransom of Hell-Fire. Whoever finds one of his parents alive then he is not forgiven, Allah will send him away [from Paradise]." [Al Mundhiry said: It was reported from some ways, one of which is good. Al Albany said: Authentic].

7- Their dutifulness is a reason for relieving distress: The proof to this is the story of the three people who entered the cave and a rock closed the mount of the cave then they besought Allah with their righteous deeds. One of them invoked Allah with the dutifulness of his parents, the second invoked Allah with his chastity, and the third invoked Allah with his integrity, so Allah removed their affliction, and the story is found in Al Bukhari and Muslim.

8- Their dutifulness is the reason for expanding sustenance, prolonging lifetime, and good end: Anas narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged then he should keep good relations with his Kith and kin." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim]. Showing dutifulness of parents is the highest rank of maintaining the ties of kinship because they are the closest people to a person.

9- The invocations of parents against their children are responded: The proof to this is the story of Jurayj, the worshipper, whose mother invoked Allah against him when he did not answer her with seeing the faces of prostitutes, so Allah responded to her invocations, and the story is reported in Al Bukhari and Muslim. Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "Three supplications are answered without doubt. The supplication of an oppressed, the supplication of a traveler, and the supplication of parents for [or against] their children." [ Reported by Imam Ahmad and At-Tirmidhy, and Al Albany graded it as good].

10- Children and their money belong to their father: Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have wealth and a son, and my father wants to take all my wealth. He said: You and your wealth belong to your father." [Reported by Ibn Majah]. Al Busayry said: His chain of transmission is authentic and Al Albany graded it as authentic]. The Hadith has another parallel which is the Hadith of `Abdullah ibn `Amr, and its wordings are: "You and your wealth belong to your father. Your children are the best of your earnings, so eat from the earnings of your children." [Reported by Ibn Majah, and Al Albany graded it as authentic].

11- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "No son can repay (the kindness shown by his father) unless he finds him a slave and buys him and emancipates him." [Reported by Muslim].

12- Undutifulness to parents is one of the major sins: Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "Should I inform you about the grievous of the major sins? They said: Yes, O Allah's Messenger! He said: To join others in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents. The Prophet (peace be upon him) then sat up after he had been reclining (on a pillow) and said: And I warn you against giving a false witness, and he kept on saying that warning till we thought he would not stop." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim].

13- Allah does not look at the one who is undutiful to his parents on the Day of Recompense and shall not enter Paradise: Jubayr ibn Mut`im narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "No one who severs ties of the womb will enter Paradise." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim with the wordings of Muslim]. One's parents are the closest kinship to a person. Ibn `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "Three people Allah will not look at them on the Day of Recompense: They are the one who is disobedient to his parents, the addict of wine, the one who reminds people of his charity. There are three people who will not enter Paradise: The one who is disobedient to his parents, Ad-Dayyuth [one who sees his wife displays parts of her body or associating with strange men while he likes that], and effeminacy." [Al Mundhiry said: Reported by Al Bazzar with a good chain of transmission and reported by Al Hakim. Al Albany said: Its chain of transmission is good, and his narrators are trustworthy].

14- The one who is disobedient to his parents receives punishment for that in the world: Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "There are two things for which punishment is instant in the world: Oppression and filial disobedience." [Reported by Al Hakim and Adh-Dhahaby and Al Albany graded it as authentic]. Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "There is no sin more fitted to have punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He stores up for him in the next world than oppression and severing ties of relationship." [Reported by At-Tirmidhy who said about it: A good and authentic Hadith, and Ibn Hibban and Al Albany graded it as authentic]. Based on this Hadith, Al Bukhari classified a chapter in Al Adab Al Mufrad entitled: Chapter on the punishment of undutifulness to one's parents, and undutifulness to one's parents is more grievous than cutting the ties of kinship.

Dear reader, before leaving you and after it had become obvious to you the great right of parents and unsightliness of disobeying them, I invite you to hasten to obey them and ask for their forgiveness for ignoring their rights. Exert your efforts in maintaining the ties of kinship, make them happy, gain their pleasure, advance their love to anything else, hasten to meet their needs, warn against harming them by words and actions, lower the wing to them, and invoke Allah for them. Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "And lower to them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young." [Surat Al Isra': 24].

May Allah guide you and me to fulfill the right of Allah and the right of the parents. May Allah grant you and us their pleasure! May Allah make you and me from those who hasten to Paradise by His Favor and Honor, and peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.