Marital life in Islam

Happiness is the goal of all people and seek it in many walks of life. However, their efforts may not deliver to the final goal which they expect.

Hence, the divine teachings came to build, guide, to take the people to the Straight Path which will deliver ultimately to the real happiness represented in the psychological stability and the comfort of the heart because from those two sources emerge the fountains of happiness to shade all those who follow the guidance of Islam.

If the happiness of individual is not achieved or not complete but when a person lives in a happy family, we find that Islam gives much care for the Muslim family and defines two goals for it:
The first is letting every person feel happiness until he is satisfied, so he can produce goodness for himself as well as others.

Second, forming the happy society which reformers anciently and recently failed to find and was not achieved properly but through Islam and its judicious guidance.

When the family, which is the core of society, is being formed in its first steps in life by a husband and a wife, Islam intended to build it properly based on purposeful rearing and good guidance according to a straight system that achieves happiness to them.

Islam guides a Muslim, who wants to establish a family, to listen to that guidance which leads him to purity and reformation, and keeps him away from evils and sins for a higher goal. Allah says: "And do not marry Al-Mushrikât (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allâh Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you." [Surat Al Baqarah: 221]. And the Prophet's saying: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman."

Islam does not only advise a husband to choose his wife carefully, but also advises the wife to choose her husband. Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If someone whom you are satisfied with his religion and trust, let him marry, otherwise it will be a sedition on earth and a great corruption."

This is the first stage of choice which is the preconditions of marriage based on good reputation, psychological inclination, and heart comfort, then comes the second stage which is the reveal of defects.

Each spouse should reveal his or her defects to the other so as not to regret or break up with the other partner because of deception, so frankness is a must to build the relationship on full contentment.

Abu `Ubayd reported with his chain of transmission from Sulayman ibn Yasar that Ibn Sanadir married a woman while he was castrated. `Umar said to him: Have you told her? He said: No. He said: Tell her then let her choose. [Al Mughny of Ibn Qudamah, vol. 6, p. 65].

Islam has made the repulsive defects such as madness and leprosy from the reasons of breaking marriage so as to establish marital life on love and intimacy, so the instructions of Islam to a husband come totally in the following Ayah: "And live with them in kindness." [Surat An-Nisa': 19].

Kindness is a word that includes all means of goodness which a Muslim should use in treating his wife or friends.

Islam does not only stop at this level, but details the rights of wives on their husbands and puts expenditure according to one's capabilities at the top of them then respect and appreciation.

Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allâh has given him. Allâh puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allâh will grant after hardship, ease." [Surat At-Talaq: 7].

Mu`awiyah ibn Haydah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: I said: O Messenger of Allah, what is the right of a wife on her husband? He replied: Give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not beat her on the face, do not say bad words to her, and do not abandon her except while you two are in the same house." [Reported by Abu Dawud].

Then Islam leaves the husband after it had put him on the straight path to give an important advice to the wife. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would have command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah." [Reported by At-Tirmidhy].

Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property)." [Surat An-Nisa': 34].

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim]. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "It is not lawful for a wife to fast (Nawafil) without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his permission." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim].

After these advices -which Islam gives to the two pillars of the house: Husband and wife and after their full contentment- marital happiness takes place and the spouses live in a renewed love, permanent intimacy, and harmony no matter how hard life is. "So whosoever receives guidance, he does so for the good of his own self." [Surat Yunus: 108].