Etiquettes of Mourning and Grief (3/3)

10. When you are pressed under the burden of calamities and afflicted with  sorrows, turn to God, offer worship and bow in humility to Him and say prayers to Hira. The Holy Qur'an affirms:

"O ye who believe! Seek help through perseverance and prayer".

It is natural to be sorrowful and shed tears in a grief- stricken state. However, avoid weeping loudly. The Holy Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to weep in a muffled voice, He (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to heave a cold sigh; tears would stream down the eyes and the voice which came out of his holy bosom used to be similar to the sound of a bubbling kettle or the turning of a grinding wheel. The Holy Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has himself described the state of his grief and weeping:

"The eye sheds tears'; the heart is filled with sorrow; yet our tongue utters only those words which are pleasing to our Lord".

Abu Huraira (God be pleased with him) reports that whenever the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) felt worried, he used to look up to the heavens and said repeatedly: “Subhdnallahil azim – Gloried be the Lord the Magnificent” and when the sorrow deepened and the Holy Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) devoted himself to prayer with greater fervour, he (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to say: “Ya hayyu ya qayyumu. (The Alive, The Eternal)” (Reported by Tirmidhi)

11.  Say these prayers in the moments of intense grief and sorrow; when calamities befall and you are under heavy stress of grief and unrest. Sa'd b. Waqqas (God be pleased with him) reports that the Holy Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed: “The prayer which Dhun-Nun [1] offered to God from the belly of the fish was as follows”:

“La ilaha illa anta sabhanaka inni kuntu min-az-zalimin. “There is no deity except Thee. Be Thou glorified! Lo! I have been a wrong doer". (Surah Al-Anbiya’: 87)

Hence any Muslim who says this prayer to God in times of distress or hardship, God surely accepts his prayer.

It is reported by Ibn 'Abbas (God be pleased with him) that in moments of sorrow or grief, the Holy Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to say this prayer:

“La ilaha illallahu rab-ul-arah-il-‘azim. La ilaha illallahu rabb-us-samawati wa rabb- ul-ardi rabb-ul-arsh-il-Karim.” "There is no deity except God. He is the Master of Great Heaven. There is no deity except God. He is the Master of Heaven and Earth and the Master of High Heaven".

Abu Musa (God be pleased with him) states that the Prophet of God (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed:

“La haula wala quw-wata- illa billahi wala malja minallahi illa ilaihi.” [2]

This prayer is a panacea for ninety-nine ills. The least bene.fi t to be derived from saying this prayer is that he who says this prayer remains safe from grief and sorrow.

'Abdullah b. Mas’ud (God be pleased with him) reported that the Holy Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed: “lf anyone who is afflicted with pain or distress and says this prayer, God will surely turn his sorrow and grief into happiness and felicity”:

“Allahumma inni abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibnu amatika nasiyati biyadika madin fiyya hukmuka adlun fiyya qada’uka as’aluka bikulli ismin huwa laka aammaita bihi nafsaka an anzaltahu fi kitabika au allamtahu ahadan min khalqika awista’tarta bihi fi ilmil-ghaibi 'indaka an taj'al al-Qur'an-al-'azima rabi'a qalbi wa nura basary wa jala'a huzni wa dhahaba hammi.” “God I am Thy servant. My father is Thy servant and so is my mother. Thou hast power over my whole being. It is thy Law which rules my life. All thy Commands in my case are most just. I beseech Thee in the name of all Attributes which thou have mentioned thy own or those which thou revealed in thy Book or revealed to some among Thy creatures or kept them hidden in Thy veiled Treasures, to make the Great Book Qur'an the pleasure of my heart, the light of my eyes, the balm for my affliction and a cure for my anxiety".  (Reported by Ahmad, Ibn Habban, Hisn Hasin)

12. If, God forbid, matters come to such a pass that the calamities and hardships oppress you so hard that life becomes unbearable and distress assume such fearful proportions that the burden of life hangs heavy on you, even under such circumstances do never call for death nor should you ever think of the disgraceful act of taking your own life. The act of suicide is a symptom of cowardice: it is the worst form of breach of trust and the most heinous sin. Under such conditions of perplexity and unrest, pray constantly to God in these words:

“Allahumma 'ahyini ma kanatil-hayatu khairan li wa tawaffani idha kanatil-wafatu khairan li. God! Keep me alive as long as it is better for me to live and if there be goodness for me in death, send me death". (Reported by Muslim, Bukhari)

13. Say this prayer when you find any one afflicted with hardship, Abu Huraira (God be pleased with him) related: The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed;

"He who says the following prayer on seeing the other afflicted with trouble will, God willing, himself remain safe from this trouble:

“Alhamdu lillaahil-ladhi 'afani mimmabtala kullahu bihi wa faddalani ala kathirin mimman khalaqa tafdila. Praise be to God Who saved me from that where-with He hath afflicted thee and made me to excel with a marked excellence most of those whom he created.” (Reported by Tirmidhi)