How to protect our families from the Fire (5/6)

There are many reprehensible matters in the homes which can be divided into three categories:

 First Category:

Reprehensible actions which are specific to the head of the household. These are very dangerous, because the child is raised while seeing his role-model doing those actions, such as   smoking   and   watching movies and soap-operas. Some    of them order   their children  to stay   away from  sins, but they  commit   them   in  front   of  them, then  ask later  on: why did my child go astray?

Listen to some elementary school teachers who relate what the children speak about innocently and spontaneously concerning reprehensible actions that occur in their homes. One of them said:  “One of my students spoke to me, and he was in one of the elementary levels. He said:  ‘My father drinks alcohol in the house, but when his friends come to drink alcohol together, he takes us out of the room.’ I said:  ‘Perhaps they are drinking juice,’ and the child said:  ‘No, I know it, they are drinking alcohol.’”

This young boy of six years old has this to say about his father. The father thinks that if he takes his boy out of the room he will not know what is happening. It did not cross his mind that children are intelligent and can understand many things. Another child said to his teacher: “My father does to the maid what my mother does to the driver.” Do you realize what the father is doing and what the mother is doing?  What do we hope from such children when they become older? What kind of life, misery, and unhappiness will overcome these children while they    witness such awful immoral actions being perpetrated in their homes?

Second Category:

Reprehensible matters which are specific to women and children but are facilitated by a man for his family. He might do so just to let them have some leisure, and does not wish to plant different types of sin and evil in them.

Many  things that are  facilitated for  our  children conflict with religion  and  our  beliefs  and  plant polytheism and  disbelief in them. Some cartoons, for example, plant the love of magic and magicians in the hearts of our children, while magic is disbelief in Allah the Exalted. In such movies, or in some video games, you find that the magician is a good person, helps the innocent, and fights the criminals. So, you find that the child wishes that the “good” magician is victorious.  Therefore, look how the beliefs are turned upside down.

We  do  not  mean that we  should  not  give our families and children their  rights in recreation or lawful  leisure  that is free of blameworthy matters, but, from the  rights of the  family and children on their parents  is  that  they   provide   them with beneficial games, various types of lawful leisure, and to remove anything that would corrupt their religion  or mind.

Earlier,  when   we  would   hear   about  an   individual   bringing things into  the  household that corrupts them, we should  think that they  just want  them to amuse  themselves and  make  them happy,  and that they were heedless with regards to the  types  of corruption that  such  things  cause.  We  did  not  believe   that anyone  would  purposely  try  to  corrupt their  families, until  I heard   some  stories that  are  contrary  to  intellect and sound nature. One of the young women said: “My father used to bring pornographic movies to the house and used to force me to watch them while I was two years and a half.”

Another says: “My father, since I was young, would take us with him to disbelieving countries during summer break.  He would   take    us   with   him   to   bars that had dancing and corruption. After we got older and became young women who reached puberty, he would order us to dance with young disbelieving men. He would give us to them by his own hand in order to dance with them, and they could do what they wanted to us.” These are two stories I have heard myself and they were not told to me by anyone besides the two narrators.

These are astonishing examples that indicate complete bankruptcy of religion, manners, modesty, and the instinct to safeguard one’s family and preserve their modesty. These are examples that are present in our Islamic society. We are  not talking about American or English  societies in the  disbelieving nations, we are  talking about something that is present among us;  this  is how some  of them  raise  their  children, then  we ask why sins  are  so widespread in our  societies, why there are  so many indecent incidents, and why fornication is so widespread.

Third category:

Immorality and immodesty in society works its way into our homes. The growing  corruption and  decadence in the  markets, streets, and  schools  easily  work  their   ways  into  our  homes, because our  children go  to  these places   and  mix  with  both righteous and corrupt   people. The presence of corrupt individuals is glaring in our societies today. Thus, the head of the household must warn their   families   and   children from learning from this society.

The Muslim who is a sincere advisor must constantly supplicate to Allah the Exalted to safeguard their family from the prevailing decadence and widespread destructive sins in our societies today.

For example, Loote (Lot), may Allah exalt his mention, lived in a corrupt society, and his people did not accept that he and his family be far from sin, and they pressured him in various ways. What did he say? He used to pray fervently to Allah and call on Him, saying (what means):

"My Lord, save me and my family from [the consequence of] what they do."  [Qur’an, Surah Ash-Shu'ara' 26:169]   He,  may  Allah  exalt   his mention, was  keen  on  saving  his  family  from  corruption, and now,  every  Muslim  with  a sound  mind  should  say:  "My Lord, save me and my family from [the consequence of] what they do." [Qur’an, Surah Ash-Shu'ara' 26:169] Because the  corruption that is present in our societies is  similar  to  those  of  the  people  of  Loote,  may Allah exalt  his mention; rather, they are more.

Allah  the  Exalted  answered the  supplication  of  Loote,  may Allah exalt  his mention, as He the  Exalted Said (what  means): "So We saved him and his family, all," [Qur’an, Surah Ash-Shu'ara', 26:170] This is the recompense of honesty and sincerity.

Here are some examples from the guidance of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his Companions in correcting some reprehensible matters in their homes:

• The Prophet, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, rejected certain blameworthy     acts in his home:

‘Aa’ishah, may Allah  be  pleased  with  her,  said  that she purchased a cushion  that had  some  images  on it. When the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saw her, he stood at the door and did not enter.  She realized that he disliked   something  and  said:  “O Allah’s  Messenger, I  ask  the  forgiveness of  Allah and  of His Messenger; what  have  I done  wrong?” He, sallAllahu  ‘alayhi  wa  sallam,  said: “What is  that cushion?” She said:  I purchased it so that you can sit and lie down on it.” He, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said; “Those who create these   images will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them: ‘Bring to life what you have created."[1].

In another narration, it states that he did not enter until she removed it from the house[2].

Also, the  Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, expelled an effeminate man  who  had  no  desire for women who  used  to  visit  the wives  of  the  Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Then, he described one of the women of At-Taa’if, and the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “This one shall not enter on you.”[3].

(Continued)