The Treatment of Wives in Light of the Holy Qur’an and the Sunnah

In light of the Verses of the Qur'an, we see that Allah, the Exalted ordered excellent treatment towards the wife, generosity towards her, and the best cohabitation with her, even if there is not love from the heart. Allah, the All-Wise said:

“And live with them in the best way. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” (Surah An-Nisa’, 4:19)

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

“A believer man must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” (Reported by Muslim)

Also, Allah clarifies that the woman has rights towards her husband, just as the husband has towards her. Allah, the Exalted says:

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands), similar (to those of their husbands) over them, to what is reasonable.”  (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:228)

And the Prophet’s (Peace be upon him) last will before he dies was that men should take care of their wives and honour them, and never treat them unfairly or swallow their rights. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

“Treat the women in the best way.’’

And the Prophet (Peace be upon him) ordered us to behave well to our wives, and be generous with them, and he also clarified that the best of men is he who treats his wife best. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

“The most complete in faith is the best in character. And the best of you is the one who is best to his wife.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) also said:

“The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Reported by Ibn Majah)

Also, the Prophet ordered his Companions to endure the mistakes of their women, clarifying the nature of the woman, in to which Allah created her. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

“Treat the women in the best way. Verily, the woman was created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so treat the women in the best way.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) also said:

“Verily, woman was created from a rib. It shall not be straightened to you in anyway (i.e. she shall not behave exactly as you wish her to). Thus, if you enjoy her, you will enjoy her bent. And if you tried to straighten her, you would break her. And to break her means a divorce.” (Reported by Mustakhrag Abi ‘Awana)

The Verses of the Holy Quran and Ahadith showing that the man should treat his wife in the best way are innumerable, and whoever wants to refer to them, he might as well do.

Did Allah’s Messenger ever beat any of his wives?

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) is the good example, which all Muslims should follow, as Allah the Exalted has ordered us to. Allah the Exalted says:

“Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow, for whomever hopes for (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much.” (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:21)

Allah, the Exalted, also described the noble Messenger’s morals, saying in the Qur’an:

“And Verily, you (O Muhammad) are on an exalted (standard of) character.”

(Surah Al-Qalam, 68:4)

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) applied his good morals in practice, from which people learned how to treat other people. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

“Verily, I was not sent but to perfect and complete the best ethics.” (Reported by Malik in Al-Muata’)

Do we then read in the Prophet’s (Peace be upon him) biography or in his words (Ahadith) anything that shows that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) has ever beaten any woman or any child? Or do we even find in his enemies’ words who lived during his time and saw him and heard him, any claim that blames him for such thing?

And let us look upon Aisha, the Prophet’s wife’s words, what she has said about him after his death, to see what kind of a husband he was:

“His character was the Qur’an.” (Reported by Ahmad)

“The Prophet (Peace be upon him) has never beaten with his hand, neither a woman, nor a child.” (Reported by Muslim)

And let us see what the other wife of the Prophet, Safiya, said about the Prophet (Peace be upon him) after his death:

“Never have I seen anyone better on character than the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him).” (Reported by At-Tabarani)

And let us see the words of the Prophet’s servant, Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him):

 “I remained in the service of the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) for ten years. He never once told me 'Oof'. When I did something, he never asked me, why did you do so? When I did not do a certain task, he never asked me why I did not do it. And the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) had the best character among all people. (And also possessed the most excellent features, so much so,) that I never felt a silk cloth, nor pure silk, nor any other thing softer than the palm (of the hand) of the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him). Nor did I smell any musk or any other fragrance, more sweet smelling than the sweat of the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him).” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) also said: “I served the Prophet (Peace be upon him) for years. He has never insulted me, never hit me, never scolded me and never frowned to me. And he never reprimanded me about something he had ordered me and I neglected. And if someone of his family reprimanded me, he said; ‘Leave him alone! If it was to be done, it would.’” (Reported by Al-Baghawui)