Afflicting a Muslim with the Tongue (2/5)

Some factors that cause backbiting and their cures:

1. Subsiding anger:

This is done by backbiting the person who kindles his anger so every time this person makes him angry, he subsides it by backbiting the person. Through this (the backbiting), he feels he is getting even with the other person. The cure for this is the advice of the Messenger (Peace be upon him) "Whoever suppresses his anger while in a position to enforce it, Allah will call him at the head of the creation until he chooses for him from the hoor'een (special women of Jannah that are promised to the believer), for him to marry from them as he pleases.” [Reported by Ahmad and At-Tabaraanee]

2. Wanting to keep Mends:

In order to maintain friends with others, a person indulges in backbiting because he is afraid of losing their friendship. Thus he does not reprimand them when they backbite, but indulge in it with them. To cure this he must remember the saying of the Messenger (Peace be upon him) "Whoever solicit the pleasure of men by displeasing Allah, Allah will consign him to mankind.” [Reported by At-Tirmidhi]

3. Wanting to raise one's status with other people:

This is done by debasing others, by saying things like such and such a person, is ignorant or his understanding is weak, thus indirectly implying that he is more knowledgeable than the one he debases. In order to cure this sickness, the perpetrator must be reminded that Allah is the final judge and this person that he is claiming is ignorant, might be better than him with Allah. Furthermore, that person may be excused because of his lack of understanding.

4. Playing around and making fun of others:

This could involve mockery and sarcasm. It is enough to remind those indulging in this practice of what Allah, the Most High said:

"O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter is better than the former..." [Surah Al-Hujuraat 49:11]

At other times, it could involve lies, as mention is made of some people in a way to make others laugh. It is enough to answer with the statement of the Messenger (Peace be upon him): "Woe to the one who speaks and lies to make people laugh, woe to him, woe to him" [Reported by Ahamad, Abu Dawood & others]

5. Envy:

Through envy, a person is backbited because of his noble position and high standing, in order to debase and reduce his worth in people's eyes. The envier should reflect upon the statement of the Messenger (Peace be upon him): "Faith and envy cannot exist together in the heart of the slave". [Reported by Ahmad 8: 436]

6. Fear of Blame:

Something is attributed to a person who wants to free himself from it, by blaming another person totally, although they both had shared in the act. He does this so that he can free himself from being blamed. The correct thing to do is to acquit himself honestly, and not try to throw the blame upon anyone else.

7. Having too much spare time:

This can cause a person to fall into backbiting, because it is easy for such an idle mind to become busy with men, their honor and their faults. To correct this, a person must spend his time in acts of obedience to Allah, worship, seeking knowledge, and teaching others. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: "Two blessings are misused by people, good health and spare time to do good." [Reported by Bukhari]

8. Trying to get close to a person in authority to acquire material gains:

In order to get close to those in authority and to gain their favors, someone may backbite his workmates with his boss. To cure this, he must realize the true value of this world with Allah, the Glorious, and that He is the Provider, and that He would allow him to get only what he deserves. And no boss can give him anything if Allah, the Sublime does not will such for him. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"...know that if the nation (all mankind) were to gather together to benefit you with something, it would only benefit you with something that Allah had already prescribed for you..." [Reported by At-Tirmidhi]

Aspects of backbiting that people might not feel is backbiting:

1. If someone is involved in backbiting, and when he is reprimanded he responds: "I am prepared to say it in front of him,"

He can be replied to with the following: You mentioned about him something he would not like in his absence. This is backbiting, and being prepared to mention it in front of him, is a different issue altogether. There is no proof from the Shar'eeah to show that being prepared to mention it to him allows backbiting.

2. If a specific person is mentioned, and someone says something loudly that implies something negative, like: "We seek refuge with Allah from being misguided" then this is also backbiting, because it is mentioning something bad about a person in his absence in an indirect way.

3. A statement about a person like: "Such and such a person is being tested with such and such" or "we used to do the same thing," implies it is something bad, and mentioned in his absence. Is that not what we have defined as backbiting?

4. Thinking it is allowed to backbite someone because he is a younger person. There is no proof for this.

5. Finding it easy to talk about someone because he is poor, or because he is weak, or a sinner, or the like.

How should the Backbiter be treated:

The backbiter should be corrected by stopping him from backbiting and he should be warned that he is involved in a great sin.

The one to whom the backbiter comes should defend the brother who is being backbited.

Also, the person who listens to the backbiter should be aware that he is encouraging an evil, and if the person does not stop, then he should walk away from him.

(Continued)