Some fathers are made to suffer because their children do not practice Islam, at least not completely. Their children might for instance perform their prayers on time and the other obligatory deeds of Islam, yet at the same time they perpetrate certain sins, such as watching movies} dealing in usury, shaving their beards, not always attending prayer in congregation, and so on. What should a practising father’s stance be in dealing with such children? Should he be severe with them or gentle?
I think that he should invite them and progress with them in gradual steps, if they are committing a number of sins, he should begin with the most serious offence, discussing it with them over and over again until they desist from it. What should be remembered here is that sins differ; some sins are so grave, that one should not allow his son to live with him as long as he is doing them. Other sins, however, are less grave. An important and true principle to remember is thus expressed: "If it is inevitable that at least one of two evils must occur, then to perpetrate the one that is less severe is justice."
An opposite problem is also common: some youth suffer from having parents who are upon misguidance, who oppose them in many issues because they are following the truth. My advice to such parents is that they should fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) regarding their own selves and regarding their children. Furthermore, they should be thankful to Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) for having children that are upright and that are following correct guidance. The uprightness of children benefits a parent both in life and after death. The Messenger (Peace be upon him) said:
"When a person dies, his deeds are cut off except for three: perpetual charity, knowledge that is benefited by, or a righteous son who supplicates for him."
Sometimes, parents might order their child to sin; in such instances, the child does not have to obey them;  rather, he should go contrary to their command, even if they become angry. In this regard, one is not being undutiful to his parents but is instead being dutiful and good to them, because had he acquiesced and performed the sin they ordered him to perform, then even more sins would be written against them. So if one refrains from a sin that his parents commanded him to perform, he is in fact being dutiful to them, having saved them from an increase in sin.
Therefore, a child should never obey his parents when they order him to sin. But in situations wherein parents forbid their child from performing a good deed, that child must understand that certain good deeds are not compulsory, i.e., one does not sin by abstaining from them. In regards to such deeds, one should look at the greater benefit. If one feels that the greater benefit is in going against his parents, who ordered him to not perform a voluntary good deed, then one may do so, but one should humour them, for instance, by performing the good deed in private. But in the case that one cannot secretly perform the good deed, then he may perform it openly, but at the same time he should try to convince his parents that neither he nor they are harmed when he performs that deed.
 Related by Muslim (1631) in the chapter, "What Rewards a Person Receives after he Dies," from the hadith of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him).
 This is based on a hadith related by 'Ali Ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him), wherein the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, "There is no obedience [to anyone] in the disobedience of Allah; obedience is only in what is good:” Al-Bukhari related this hadith (7145), in the chapter, "It is Compulsory to Obey Rulers unless it is in Sin, in which Case it is Forbidden To Obey Them." There is another hadith that is very similar to this last one: "There is no obedience for a created being when that involves disobeying the Creator." This hadith, however, is weak; it is Mursal from AlHasan. In Sharh Al-Sunnah (10/44), Al-Arna'ut said, “Its chain is weak." Nonetheless, the previous hadith and other ahadith attest to it.
Please write: COMMENT in this box to verify that you are human