Evil Things in the Home

Beware of allowing non-mahram relatives to enter upon the wife in the home when the husband is absent. Some homes are not free of the presence of relatives of the husband who are not mahram for the wife, who may be living in his home with him because of some social circumstances, such as his brothers who may be students or single. These relatives enter the home without anyone raising an eyebrow, because they are known in the  neighbourhood  as  being  relatives  of  the  head  of  the  household,  his  brothers  or nephews or uncles. This relaxed attitude could generate a lot of evil which will earn the wrath of Allah if it is not controlled and brought within the limits set by Allah. The basic principle in this matter is the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said, “O Messenger of Allah, what do you think about the brother-in-law?” He said, “The brother -in-law is death!” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 9/330).

Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “What is referred to in this hadeeth is the husband’s relatives apart from his father and his sons, because those are mahrams for his wife and can be alone with her, so they are not described as death. What is referred to here are his brother, nephew, uncle and cousin, and others who she would be permitted to marry if she were not already married. Usually people take the matter lightly with regard to these relatives, so a brother may be alone with his brother’s wife. Thus he is likened to death, when he should be prevented from being alone with her more than a stranger should.” (Fath al-Baari, 9/331).

The phrase “the brother-in-law is death” has a number of meanings, such as:

That being alone with the brother-in-law may lead to spiritual destruction if she commits sin;

Or it may lead to death if she commits the immoral act (zina or adultery) and the punishment of stoning is carried out on her;

Or it may lead to the woman being destroyed if her husband leaves her because his jealousy leads him to divorce her;

Or it may mean, beware of being alone with a non-mahram woman just as you would beware of death;

Or it may mean that being alone with a non-mahram woman is as bad as death.

It was said that it means, let the brother -in-law die rather than be alone with a non-mahram woman.

All of this stems from the concern of Islam to preserve families and households, and to prevent the tools of destruction reaching them in the first place. Having learned what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, what do you think now of those husbands who tell their wives, “If my brother comes and I am not here, let him into the sitting room”, or a wife who tells a guest, “Go into the sitting room” when there is no one else present in the house?

To those who raise the issue of trust as an excuse, saying “I trust my wife, and I trust my brother, or my cousin”, we say: your trust is all well and good, and you should not be suspicious when you have no cause to do so, but you should know that the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him),  “No man is alone with a non- mahram woman, but the Shaytaan is the third one present with them.” (Reported by at-Tirmidhi, 1171) includes the most pious of people as well as the most corrupt. Islam does not exempt anyone from such rulings.

Whilst writing these few lines, we heard about a problematic situation in which, to cut a long story short, a man married a woman and brought her to live in his family home, where she lived happily with him. Then his younger brother began to enter upon her when her husband was absent, and talk to her in a romantic manner, which resulted in two things: firstly, she began to dislike her husband intensely, and secondly, she fell in love with his brother. But she was not able to divorce her husband, nor was she able to do what she wanted with the other man. This is the grievous penalty. This story illustrates one level of corruption, beyond which there are many more which culminate in the immoral action (zinaa/adultery) and the birth of illegitimate children.