Parents Obligations towards Children (1/2)

Sexuality, reproduction and children's responsibility are interconnected in Islam   through an institution, family.  Family is considered  as  the first school of children where they are not only nurtured  but  also  taught  basic  morals  and  etiquette   so that the children  can  appreciate Islamic ethos and values. 

A stable family will give rise to a stable society and a stable civilization. All this requires that both parents and children should be mindful of their obligations towards each other along with their rights so that they may love and respect each other. 

Islam enjoins its adherents to love children and to be mindful of their responsibilities towards them from the very beginning of their inception and even earlier to it.  The Qur'an says:

“And be mindful of your duty to God in whose name you appeal to one another and to the ties of the womb.”

Thus, Islam emphasizes that parents should realize that the proper development of the child begins 'from the mother's womb itself. Hence the parents should be concerned   about their prospective child from the very beginning.

It has been scientifically proved that a pregnant woman should abstain from alcoholic drinks and narcotics and avoid tensions. If she fails to consider all these precautionary measures, any complication in her own health and that of the child in the womb can hardly be prevented. 

It is also pointed out that the relationship between the prospective mother and the prospective father should not be conflict-ridden because it adversely affects the mental and physical health   of the prospective mother and eventually the prospective child. Islam through the above quoted verse emphatically makes it clear that parents should be mindful of their duties towards their children from the very inception.

Islam commands its believers not only to take care of the physical upbringing of their children but also their educational, moral and spiritual development. The Qur'an says:

“O you who believe! Strive to protect yourselves and your wives and children from the fire.”

Obviously, the best way of protecting children from the fire is by providing adequate education and proper training. More than the wealth  and  the   material property, children require best education for  their  real  success  here  and  in  the  Hereafter.  The Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon him) said:

“Of all that a father can give to his children the best is their good education and training.”

In   the   contemporary    age,   where   Muslim    Ummah   is facing multitudes   of intellectual challenges, the above Prophetic tradition needs greater focus.   

Unless children are mentally well fed with proper education and skills, they become easily susceptible to alien culture and lifestyles. Today’s children are tomorrow’s future. The strong foundation of the future prospects of Islamic culture and civilization depends on strong educational foundation of the children. 

It deems necessary for them to be well acquainted of the dominant ideologies, as well as, Islam as the comprehensive system of life so that they should be the role models in the future to take care of the Ummah's responsibility vis-a-vis mankind.  

The Qur'an teaches its adherents to pray to Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) for their children with these aspirations.

“My Lord make me keep prayer and (also) let my offspring (do so) Our Lord accept my appeal! Our Lord, forgive my parents and me.”

“Our Lord!  Grant  us in our spouses and our offspring the comfort of our eyes and make us a model for the needful.”

It also  implies  that  Islam  completely  rejects  the  perception  of those   who   look   to  women  and  children  as  burden  or  as  an oppressed  class.   In fact, Islam inspires men to look at their wives and children as the comforters of their eyes, as their source of joy, peace and solace and not a suppressed and oppressed class to be dominated   and over-powered. 

Man's domination and suppression of woman and children go against the very spirit of Islam, which asserts that ‘command is only for Allah', not for man.  The time when a child is born, the Islamic clarion call that 'there is no god but Allah' is conveyed into his ears, which implies that he should submit to none save Allah.  

Besides, it is also evident from one of the   traditions   that  whenever  a  child  in  the  Prophet's (Peace be upon him) household  begins  to  speak,  the  Prophet (Peace be upon him) thought him the second verse of Surah al-Furqan which gives the message  of Allah's   Sovereignty   and   the   Unity   of   God  (Tawhid).  The translation of its verse is as follows:

“He to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth - no son has He begotten, nor has He a partner in His dominion It is He Who created all things, and ordered them In due proportions.”

So from the very beginning, Islam emphasizes that children should be ingrained with the Tawhidic message and that they should willingly submit to none but Allah.  It does not however mean that they are not expected to obey their parents rather Islam enjoins children to be good to their parents which shall be discussed later.

Islam  also  encourages  that both parents, mother and father should express  their  utmost   love  to  their children, give them time, play with  them  and  cheer  them   up through many ways of interaction with  them. 

It is reported that  Amir (may Allah be pleased with  him)  who  held a high position in the government  during the reign  of  Umar  (may  Allah  be  pleased  with  him)  once visited  the house of Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and  was  surprised   to see that few children had mounted the chest of  Caliph  and were engaged in playing.   

Seeing the astonishment of  Amir  (may  Allah  be  pleased  with  him)  the Caliph enquired about  his  treatment   to his children?  Upon this, he replied: "Amir ul-Mu'minin,  as  soon  as  I  enter  my  house  the  people  of  my household  are  struck  with  terror  and  stand dumb with fear. 

On hearing  this,  the  Caliph  said:  "Amir (may Allah be pleased with you)  you  are  a follower of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and yet are ignorant of the important injunction that a Muslim should behave towards his  family members  with extreme love and deep tenderness. "