Be quiet when making a dialogue with your son

* A Muslim brother narrated to me a long dream then I told him: Intimacy between you and your wife is absent or semi-dead. He said to me: This is true. I said to him: The language of understanding between you and your wife is characterized by harshness and cruelty. He said to me: This is true. I said to him: You have a dialogue with your wife but you come out with problems full of tornadoes and revolutions that continue for days. He said to me: Yes, although I know that man for a long time with his high manners.

There are many people like him who are so easy with the people but they are like a furious ox with their wives.

Our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The best among you is the one who treats his family good, and I am the best among you to my family."[1]

The principle of making a dialogue is great and one of the principles of intellectual maturity, advancement and progress of nations, communities, individuals, and families where the person who starts a constructive dialogue and opens the window of purposive argumentation has opened for himself the entire life.

Whenever the dialogue with children is quiet and the language of addressing is regular, not harsh, and enveloped with affability and intimacy, fruits will be useful and the impacts will be positive.

The instructor will not benefit anything of yelling and raising voices during discussion with the children, but may demolish all he has built for long years in a session of profound dialogue.

See the following points:

1- The rules of rearing children are many but I saw that these rules are important although they are human efforts which are not free of errors and shortcomings.

2- There is no objection to apply these rules in life, for their results are positive and good. It is not hidden that theorizing is easier than application, but a person is trying as much as he can.

3- Of the important issues which must be recalled is intention in every act you do so as to get the reward from Allah (Glory be to Him).

4- Leave a fingerprint to restore the glory of the nation through your sublime dealings and high manners with your children.

5- Accustom your tongue to nice words and wonderful expressions, for you shall not lose anything by the permission of Allah; and make the first to hear them the nearest to you.

6- Do not hesitate in training yourself on a good way to deal with your children.

Subhanakal-lahumma wabihamdika, ashhadu an la ilaha illa anta Astaghfiruka Wa Atubu Ilayk. [Glory be to You, and praise be to You. I bear witness that there is no god but You. I ask for Your Forgiveness and I repent to You].

References:

1- Kayfa Turabby Waladaka Al Muslim, Shuqir Al `Itiby.

2- Al Wasa'il Al `Ilmiyyah Fi Tarbiyat Al Awlad, `Abdul-Majid Al Jumu`ah.

3- Kayfa Yurabby Al Muslim Waladah, Muhammad Sa`id Mawlawy.

4- Kayfa Tughayyir Suluk Tiflak, Muhammad Dimas.

5- Min Akhta'ina Fi Tarbiyat Awladina, Dr. Muhammad ibn `Abdullah As-Sihim.

6- Ifham Tiflak Tanjah Fi Tarbiyatih, `Adil Fathy `Abdullah.

7- Tarbiyat Al Awlad Fi Al Islam, Dr. `Abdullah Nasih `Ulwan.

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[1] Sunan At-Tirmidhy 3895, Sunan Ibn Majah 1977, and Al Albany graded it as authentic in Sahih Al Jami` 3314.