The Difference Between Men and Women’s Obligations (2/4)

This means that there is no room whatsoever for any believing man or woman to act according to their personal preferences once Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and His messenger (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) have passed their verdict regarding a particular matter. The only option open to them is to listen and obey. And if one chooses to differ from the decision of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and His messenger (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam), be they men or women, it would be plain disobedience and infidelity; they are the ones who have definitely gone astray. This is the essence of Islam, Ita’a, and ‘Ibadah. For what is Islam? It is total submission to commands of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and His Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam). What is Ita’a? Obedience to Allah and His Prophet. What is ‘lhadah? To become a slave of Allah in all aspects and at all times. The most important factor in this regard is that we are devoid of authority and choice where there is a clear order from Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and His Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam). If authority is exercised against the Will of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and His Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam), it will be against the tenets of Islam. We are only free to act according to our will and understanding if there is no explicit ruling about an issue.

As said earlier there is a minimal difference between the responsibilities of men and women as far as the ground floor of religious obligations is concerned. The disparity gradually becomes more and more pronounced as we advance to the higher levels. It is vital to understand the basis for this disparity in Islam. Islam lays great emphasis on modesty and chastity and aspires to uphold and preserve these values in a Muslim society. That is why there is a separate dress code for men and women and the segregation of genders. The injunctions regarding the dress code (Satr and Hijab) are more strict for women and the conditions vary from Mahram to non-Mahram.[1] What we need to understand here is that the difference in the nature of the duties assigned to men and women is in order to maintain an atmosphere of modesty, decency and purity in the society.

Islam discourages unnecessary intermingling of men and women and determines separate spheres of activity for them. In this context, we can easily understand why a woman’s prayer is best in the most secluded part of the house, and why her presence is discouraged in the mosque (though not forbidden). In short, the rationale behind the dissimilarity between men and women’s obligations, whether slight or pronounced, is to close all avenues that may lead to indecency and immorality.

The Second Level: The Three Circles of Da‘wah

The second level deals with spreading the message of Islam to others. A general principle of Tableegh and Da’wah[2], proposed by Islam, is that we should begin by first reforming our own selves. Next, we should focus on those who are closest to us — our immediate family members. Only then we may approach other people. Contrary to this, preaching Islam in foreign lands while the religious condition of one’s own house is unsatisfactory indicates that the process of Da’wah has been inversely prioritized. Such practice can never bring about the desired results as were seen as a consequence of Da’wah carried out by the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) and his companions.

If we keep the proper sequence in mind, we can conclude that, for the Muslim woman, the highest priority should be her home. The propagation of Islam is simultaneously carried out in three integrated circles. In the first circle she should bring up her children as Muslims in the true sense of the word. The second circle of Da’wah includes Muslim women and the third consists of Mahram males. These three circles and domains are the premises in which the Muslim woman is required to perform Da’wah. Concerning the first circle, Surah Tahreem states:

“Save yourself and your families from the fire.” [Al-Qur’an, Surah At-Tahreem, 66:6]

In the same context, we should also consider the following Hadith narrated by ‘Abdullah bin ‘Omar (radhyAllahu ‘anhu):

 “Every one of you is a shepherd and every one of you is accountable for his herd.” [Reported by Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahu Dawud]

Just as a shepherd is responsible for his herd, everyone is responsible and accountable for the people he is in charge of. Then the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) added,

“a man is a custodian of his home and he will be held accountable for his family.”

Meaning, everyone will be asked about the duties which he had to perform concerning his family and household. He will be asked about whether he carried out his duties of educating them and fulfilling their rights. Then the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said,

“And a woman is responsible for her husband’s home and she will be held accountable for whatever and whoever she is given charge of.”

Naturally her children are the most vital part of her husband’s home. In another narration, the word ‘children’ is mentioned separately:

“And a woman is responsible for her husband’s household and his children and she is accountable for them.”

She is accountable for the servants as well but her main responsibility is with respect to the children.

It goes without saying that the future of a nation depends, to a great extent, on its coming generation and the tremendous task of bearing and~ rearing it has been placed squarely on the shoulders of the mother. It is the mother who acts as the very embodiment of selflessness, sacrificing her own comfort for the sake of her children, it is the mother who acts as the first school that the child conies in contact with. The poet-philosopher lqbal says about a Muslim mother:

“O Woman! Grind grain while Qur’an is on your lips”

In our childhood we had the privilege of witnessing with our own eyes such mothers who used to recite the Qur’an while nursing their child, and grinding grain. Something of value must transfer from the mother to the child in a subtle and imperceptible manner during this process. After all, we are asked to say Adhan[3] and Iqamah[4] in the newborn’s ears. There has to be some logic behind this ritual. The infant is obviously not capable of making sense of the words hut all of us know that a tape- recorder is also a senseless device that efficiently records voice impressions and reproduces them. Therefore, it would not he too farfetched to assume that some meaningful impressions are conveyed to the child’s subconscious that leaves a lasting impact on his personality. As lqbal said:

“In this condition, in your lap, will grow a son like Hussain [radhyAllahu ‘anhu].”

Hence, the command from the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam):

“Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave.”

The major responsibility entrusted to the mother is imparting purposeful education and moral values in her children. To seek other avenues at the cost of this major responsibility is certainly not admissible. If, however, her circumstances are such that she can spare some time, she should definitely do Da’wah work outside her home.

What actually is happening in our society is that we tend to preach in the remote corners of the world but overlook our homes. We should remember the Qur’anic admonition:

“Do you enjoin righteousness upon mankind and you yourselfforget (to practice it)?” [Al-Qur’an, Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:44]

(Continued)