Relationship with the Husband

A good wife is one of best treasures in life, yet at the same time to be a good wife is not always that easy.

What kind of foundation is your relationship based on? If you cannot think of any, then develop respect and communication if it is not there. Respecting each other and communicating with each other will go a long way to a successful relationship.  A good relationship tip to consider is compromise. Yes! Compromise can go a long way in deepening the relationship. How much compromise do you show to your husband? It makes sense to give and take so you’ll both feel valued needed in the relationship.

Although it’s true that actions speak louder than words, words often speak more clearly than act ions. Take a moment every now and then to verbalize your feelings for your husband. A simple “I love you” or “You mean the world to me” can go a long way towards making your husband feel wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship. Also small acts of physical intimacy can give your husband a warm feeling and convey the love and affection you feel for him.

Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it’s important to you, share it  with your husband similarly be supportive when your husband faces life’s little challenges, too – an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced check. Listen to what’s bothering him and offer whatever help – even if it’s just sympathy – you can.

Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful.

All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah subhanahu wata’ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah ta’ala - into Jannah.

Be thankful to him

Ibn Abbas radiallahu anhu reported that Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihe wasallam said: “O Women, give charity, for I have surely seen that you from the majority of the inhabitants of Hell.”

They asked, ‘why is this so, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said, “Because you curse too much, and are ungrateful for good treatment (on the part of your husband)”[1]

Support him in his decisions. Don’t go against his decisions, if you dislike something, talk to him gently when his is in a good mood and give him reasons for your opinion

The Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu alaihe wasallam said, “It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah to allow anyone into her husband’s house whom he dislike; or to go out when he does not want her to; or to obey anyone else against him; or to forsake his bed; or to hit him. If he is wrong, then let her come to him until he is pleased with her, and if he accepts her then all is well, Allah will accept her deeds and make her position stronger, and there will be no sin on her. If he does not accept her then at least she will have done her best and excused herself in the sight of Allah.”[2]

Take care of him

It is reported from Ayesha radiallahu anha that when the Messenger of Allah was in I’tikaf, he inclined his head towards me and I combed his hair, and he didn’t enter the house except to answer the call of nature.[3]

Don’t complain about his shortfalls to his family or to your family members

A woman came to Prophet Sallallahu alaihe wasallam about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband”. She said, “Yes”. He asked her, “How are you with him”. She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me”. He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell”.[4]

Don’t argue with him when he is angry

Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu alaihe wasallam said: “Shall I not tell you about your wives in Paradise.” We said “of course, O Messenger of Allah. He said, “They are fertile and loving. If she became angry or is mistreated, or her husband becomes angry, she says, “My hand is in your hand, I shall never sleep until you are pleased with me”.[5]

Be sensible what you spend from his earnings

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihe wassallam and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth  without  his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihe wasallam said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’”[6]

Don’t ask him for more than he can afford

Allah says, “But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis.” [Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:233]

 “Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.” [Surah At-Talaaq, 65:7]

Prophet Sallallahu alaihe wasallam said, “The best woman who ride camels are the woman of Quraysh. They are the most compassionate towards their children when they are small and the most careful with regards to their husband’s wealth.”[7]

Don’t complain to him about his parents or his family

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.[8]

Don’t say no when he wants to intimate with you unless you’ve a reason to say so

It was narrated that Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’”[9]

Prophet Sallallahu alaihe wasallam said, “Allah will curse those procrastinating women who when their husbands call them to their beds, say I will, I will…, until he falls asleep.”[10]