Correct methods for rearing

There is no doubt that education is one of the most important bases upon which the formation of an individual is based, starting from his rearing within the family then after going to school. However, there are some methods that would make the children benefit from the process of education and rearing whether inside the family or at school. There are grounds for the use of punishment against children in rearing process, and the physical punishment should be the last stage in punishing children for some psychological and physical reasons. You shall recognize these bases through the following investigation:

Correct methods of rearing:

Dr. Sa`id Abul-`Azm, a professor of educational psychology, said: Educational methods which every family uses in rearing their children are different according to the educational level of the family, their understanding of the correct methods of rearing and their interest in rearing their children. There are some methods that should be followed to have a correct rearing for children such as: Rearing through advice and preaching which should be done nicely so as not to turn into the opposite. There is another method which is accustoming children to some words and actions in certain situations. Another method for rearing which is rearing through reading useful stories through which children can benefit from some situations, behavior, actions, and words; this method is the best because children by nature love stories. There is another method of rearing which rearing through observing the movements and behavior of children so that parents can rectify these behavior if they are wrong or support them if they are correct.

He added: Among those methods also is the use of games because children love games more than anything else. There are some educational games whether computer or manual games. Moreover, parents have to empty the energy of their children through practicing sport and manual games in addition to taking children to public occasions and after each occasion parents show the gained benefits from these occasions, in addition to actions that should be avoided and actions that should be imitated. This also is a good method besides rearing through daily situations and showing the children what is correct and what is wrong.

Abul-`Azm confirmed that there are other methods such as: Painting, decoration, etc. Parents can know what the children think about and what occupies their minds through these talents. Furthermore, parents can suggest some situations to children and see how they shall act in these situations then explain to them the correct method of acting. All these methods should be taken into consideration when rearing children to rear them properly.

Rearing and building leading personality:

Dr. Khalid `Abdul-Maqsoud, an expert of human development, said: In order to build a leading personality within children, the main role lies on the family because the family is the first component for the personality of the child then comes the role of school. Therefore, the family must develop within its children leadership and its skills through training them for leadership in young age in a number of group actions inside the family or supervising some simple actions inside the family. The school also has a role in training the children for leading some school activities and assigning some works that fit their abilities.

He added: There are some fundamentals upon which the building of a leading personality is based through leading groups and achievements. Perhaps the most important of these bases is making children always feel they are trustworthy through assigning some simple actions to them in childhood then assigning big works to them gradually so as to get used to seriousness, perseverance, and rewarding outstanding children if they manage to succeed and not to blame those who fail to fulfill them. It is important not to assign actions to children whose mental or age abilities are less than executing them so as not to fail and lose their self-confidence. There is an important method which is highlighting leading personalities and the positive aspects in their lives. It is important also for parents to watch their children so as not to be infected with arrogance and pride after succeeding in many actions because if they are infected by pride, the formation of their personality will be collapsed, their self-trust shall turn into ego, and their excellence shall turn into haughtiness which is one of the worst characteristics in successful people that surely lead to their collapse.

Rearing and punishment:

Dr. Mahmoud An-Najjar, a professor of Education, said: Punishment is one of the pillars of Education, but it is not the basis for education because however it leads to results, but its results are found on short-term then a child goes back to his first condition. Therefore, parents should resort to punishment as a final solution. Very often, many parents punish their children without showing the correct action that they should do instead of the actions they had done. We can note that many children who are reliable to beating and intimidation at home and in school always incline to aggression and sometimes take revenge on their colleagues or brethren. The notion of revenge begins with children from the age of two by harming others and breaking plates.

He added: There are many methods in punishing children if they are mistaken, but the punishment often leads to only temporary results. Many children refrain from their bad actions after punishment but shortly they commit them again. Therefore, parents have to follow the correct method to change the ideas of their children or to correct their behavior, because not all punishment is beating, but there are other methods of punishment such as deprivation of money, games, picnics, or playing football. Beating also is the last resort in punishment because usually it causes bad memories to children when they recall what their parents did to them.

An-Najjar stressed that punishment has major damages especially if it is done physically. We see some parents beat their children badly and that does not lead to any positive result, on the contrary, it has many negatives. Many children incline to unsociability, fear, and shame as a result of being punished more than once in addition to their loss of self-confidence. Many studies indicated that children who are punished a lot in their young age will grow up as a father or mother who likes to punish their children continuously. Studies also indicate the deterioration of educational, mental, intellectual, and physical abilities of students who are much punished.