Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood and Abdur-Rahman Abou Almajd in dialog around western Muslim teens

We have a fresh opportunity to reflect about the role of western Muslim teens in west, especially in the UK.

At this point Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood isn’t  going to speak about her views on her generation teens’ role but she also speaks about western Muslim teens today.

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood.

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood is a leading British Muslim scholar. Her name was Rosalyn Rushbrook. gained an honours degree in Christian Theology from the University of Hull in 1963.

She converted to Islam in 1986 .she taught religious studies at various state schools until her retirement in 1996. and now lectures and writes on Islam.

Ruqaiyyah served as Head of Religious Studies at William Gee High School, Hull, England. she is the author of over thirty books on Islam and other subjects.

A former Head of Religious Studies at various UK inner city secondary schools, she is probably Britain's leading authority on GCSE Islamic studies.  Sister Ruqaiyyah identifies with the "battle to preserve Islam as the one true faith, tolerant, noble, and compassionate - in face of the growth of the 'other Islam' which is extremist and intolerant, and which she regards as both false and dangerous".

She has written over seventeen books on various aspects of religion, a book on conseling of Muslim teenagers and a volume of poetry.

Some of her books.

1- Islam: A Dictionary 1994

2- Thinking About God – (philosophy of religion) 1994

3- Muslim Teenagers Coping 1995

4- Islamic Mosques 1996

5- The Muslim Marriage Guide 2000

6- The Need to Know? Series book on Islam: Understand the Religion Behind the Headlines2008 

7- The Teach Yourself series book on Islam

8- Islam 2008

9- GCSE Islam – the Do-it-Yourself Guide

10- After Death, Life

11- Muslim Prayer Encyclopedia.

Alhamdulillah, you're ok and very well this time, If only you were very well for ever.  

Q: When you were a teenager you had no problems about daring to be different. I wonder if you can elaborate on that.

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: I did not really like being the same as everyone else. I was very independent, and tough, and although brought up as a Christian church-goer, I became consciously religious very young as the result of feeling that God was calling me to do something with my life.

I deliberately tried to train myself to be useful and gather skills, such as nursing, running a cub-scout troop, studying and keeping a prayer-routine, and generally trying to be kind and compassionate in my rather tough and deprived community. I rather hoped that one day I might be a 'heroine' for God, in a similar way to some of the role models featured in the comic for girls that I read weekly.

I did my best at school, and after joining the Salvation Army (an organisation of uniformed evangelical Christians) got involved with the most downtrodden, despairing and rejected people.

As a teenager at school I was good at music, writing and religious studies, and found it difficult to choose which one to major in for my career. In the end, I went to Hull University and studied Christian Theology, and when I left there, spent the rest of my professional life as the Head of Religious Studies in various tough UK inner-city secondary schools.

The last ten years were in a single-sex boy's school. Many of the Muslim families who sent their sons there because it was an all-boys school were very surprised to find they were to be taught religious studies by a woman! I converted to Islam in 1986, and I believe I was the first Head of RE in the UK to be a Muslim.

Q: Why do many people think schools began to go wrong?

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: When I entered teaching it was a respected profession, and teachers were often very 'individualistic', authoritarian, and experts in their chosen fields. We had enthusiasm, and talent, and enjoyed seeing out students grow up and develop.

I personally think education became very different in the UK when the system of comprehensive education was introduced.

This was an attempt to improve the chances of the less able and disadvantaged, good aims, but to my sorrow it virtually destroyed the old grammar school system with its format of putting together highly intelligent pupils for their academic potential and educating them alongside each other.

It may have been seen as elitist, but I feel the students lost so much when the top academic ones were sent in small groups to all the local schools.

The comprehensive system gave more opportunities to those children who 'failed' at the age of 11, and we see in the UK how students have been able to pick a wider range of subjects, submit their exam material in modules, and have become able to achieve higher grades thereby. But there are disadvantages -

1. The schools became so vast that teachers could no longer name every child in them – and that soon led to behaviour problems. If an offending pupil ran off and you could neither run as fast nor name him/her, it became easy for the pupils to escape discipline, and the teachers ended up feeling thwarted and foolish.

2. Some gifted academic teachers lost their Advanced Level students (the 16-18 year old academics), and a lot of job-enjoyment disappeared. The A-level students frequently went to the new Sixth-Form Colleges, and the teachers were left teaching at levels below A-level.

3. Not all teachers have the same talent or expertise. Many teachers skilled with academic pupils struggle to maintain discipline and 'meaningfulness' with the less academic and low stream pupils.

4. Financial cuts caused many 'special' schools that catered for pupils with various problems to be closed, and the 'normal' school had to cope and integrate into all its classes many more pupils who struggled with all sorts of disabilities.

5. As syllabi became more fixed, some teachers found they were often obliged to teach things they were not confident about or interested in.

6. In the pursuit of standardisation, so much individuality and enthusiasm and personal authority was lost.

7. To drive up standards there was much more planning, form-filling and report-writing. Reporting became ridiculous. Most parents at the end of a year only wanted to know the academic standard of their child rated from A to E, and whether they were working hard enough or not. (A pupil could be A for academic ability but E for effort, and vice versa). By the time I retired, my last class report involved pages and pages of details, and blunt but fair and realistic criticism was to be replaced by merely pointing up the pupil's successes and talents.

8. The load of paperwork, meetings, and lack of discipline in many classrooms dramatically  increased the incidence of teacher-stress and nervous breakdowns.

Q: Some teenagers seem determine to wreck their lives through stupid mistakes, I want to know which is the worst mistakes that wreck teens?

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: I think some of the worst are a sense of hopelessness – many students get told that if they do not succeed in exams they will not be good enough to succeed in life, or that there will not be any work they will be able to do. This is not true, and to constantly repeat it to youngsters makes them depressed and lose the will to try.

Many have experienced broken homes, and have grown up in single-parent families, usually with no father, or a replacement father who has not really got on with them or been able to train them up.

In my last classroom, maybe 75% of the students were not living with their birth mother and father. There is an underlying sense of hurt, abandonment, and need to be tough in order to survive.

I personally like a disciplined environment, but one growing out of love for the students, not antagonism. In some schools the relationship of teachers to pupils was almost like a war.

I also think students frequently suffer from laziness, lack of motivation, and get led astray by the attractions of sexual activity and availability of alcohol and too much free time.

It was easier for our youth in the days when there was work available for fathers in particular, and the young could see themselves entering an adult life when they too would work and have money in their pockets and a nice place to live.

Depression and despair of the young is also often increased by TV programmes and films which pull the spirits down.

Q: What about the shy Muslim teenager who longs to be like everyone else in the group?

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: There are two issues here – shy teenagers, and specifically Muslim ones. Most kids have a desperate need for friendship, and to be accepted by at least a few friends.

It is horrible for those who get picked on and bullied, or made to feel inadequate in some way. This sort of trouble has vastly increased recently with the new technology, mobile phones and facebook etc.

Cyber-bullying is becoming a huge problem in the UK. All the youngsters need to learn how to cope with other people, how to manage relationships with adults, friends and as they grow older, loved ones.

It is never easy. My grandson has just had his heart broken for the first time, and now understands why his best friend was in tears and off his food for a long time, in his turn. Life is full of hard knocks.

For Muslim teenagers, there is also the issue of being 'different', perhaps by the clothing worn, or the way they are expected to behave. Personally, having grown up white English without 'muslim' or 'cultural' problems, it is hard for me to give advice without offending others.

I would like to see far greater emphasis in the UK on establishing a UK Muslim essence without all the cultural background.

I know many parents like to see their girls in hijab from a very early age, but although I agree it gets them used to it, I also think it is a pity that it is not worn as a young woman's personal choice and decision when she reaches teenage. We have issues in the UK over 'Islamic competitiveness' – is it more virtuous to wear a jilbab, chador, niqab, small headscarf, abaya, or what? This is not a problem that bothers boys – although we also now have the competition of virtue over beards, prayer hats, short trousers, and so on. The real issue is modesty and good behaviour, which is a character issue not a matter of clothing.

You can all too often find a young Muslim (or an older one) dressed in particular pious styles and enthusiastically learning up all the Arabic technical terms and what to do for 'extra' prayers and devotions and so on – while at the same time behaving selfishly, rudely, arrogantly, immodestly, and sometimes quite appallingly. It is vital to teach that Islam is the complete way of life that does not only pray and fast, but is also kind to people, honest, compassionate, tolerant, useful, courageous, hard-working and so on. Nobody cares if the Prophet (pbuh) used a miswak - it was his wonderful and noble practice of life, and his inspiring character that are the important parts of the sunnah, and which lead others to find Allah for themselves.

Q: How should the Muslim teenager who is being tempted into non-Muslim ways – getting drunk, smoking, sexual activity etc be saved?

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: These are matters that all teenagers, whether Muslim or not, have to sort out for themselves. In the UK, for example, there are laws to forbid these evils before certain ages (16 for smoking and sex, 18 for drinking alcohol, and many drugs are illegal altogether).

Of course, that does not stop youngsters experimenting, and no amount of adult authority will be able to prevent them. The best thing is to give the best example one-self, as a responsible adult, and to make sure the information about the consequences of drunkenness, drug addiction and promiscuity are well known. They are, to most kids. Muslim youngsters have the extra protection of religious teaching and prohibition, but it is human nature to be weak, and to give in to temptation.

Iblis and his cohorts are always quick to seize an opportunity. I really do think a great deal of harm is done when youngsters see Muslim men behaving selfishly and abusively to others – especially to hard-pressed wives, and often in an 'attitude' towards the non-Muslim community.

It is such a pity. Muslims should try their hardest to be the best of people, and try to develop as much love, compassion and tolerance as possible.

What is your advice for Muslim girls who want to insist on covering the face and young men who want to grow beards or wear short-cut trousers (or even shalwar-qameez)  as ‘this is God’s will’?

So far as I know, it is not God's will. I have based my Islam, coming into it as an 'outsider' upon what I learned from the Qur'an as my chief source.

People have limited access to hadiths (I have a vast collection, but I've been lucky), and although they are our second source of guidance, I am very aware of the problems of reported sayings, especially when in translation and without knowing the full narrative so that one can see why the particular saying was given.

For example, the insistence by some men that it is better for Muslim women to pray at home really stems from an occasion when the Prophet (pbuh) was speaking to Umm Humayd, a particular elderly lady who had arthritis and was distressed that she found it difficult to get to the mosque (where the muslimahs of the Prophet's (pbuh) time normally prayed behind the men in the same space – not behind a dividing sutrah as so often happens today); the Prophet (pbuh) told her it was better for her, and no less virtuous, to pray at home.

As regards the hijabs and beards, there is such a danger of engendering an unpleasant feeling of superiority towards the other  Muslims who do not do the same things. I find such desire to be the 'Muslim-of-the-Year'  contrary to the spirit of Islam.

I am always uncomfortable with people who think they are right and everyone else is wrong, or that their way is the best way.

I feel Muslims should be part of their societies and wear what is modest and decent in that society, and not call attention to themselves in what appears to be a show-off and stand-offish way.

The Prophet (pbuh), of course, never wore shalwar-qameez, or underpants, or trainer shoes, or denim jeans, or a suit, and so on. So what? It does not matter. What matters in Islam is the modest behaviour and attitude, and compassionate and devout life.

Q: Many of today’s young people are in a terrible state because of the traumas and tragedies they face at home, at school and in street. Could you  elaborate on the best way to help them at school and in street?

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: The best way is always to be a good friend, and to listen and show sympathy, and practical help where possible. Too come on too strong with religious talk and practice might not be the most acceptable thing, although where it is welcomed it is a great help in times of trouble.

Young Muslims need to know that whatever happens in their homes, or school, or workplace, they are never actually alone, but are always loved, watched and guided if they will open the 'ears of their hearts'.

It is important that they realise the existence of God and His angels, even if they struggle to believe as their intellect gets going and they come in contact with all the atheism and materialism.

We all have a direct line to God, and our prayers in our own humble and tearful words reach Him and His agents even if we feel do not do or know all the 'required conditions'.

There are no required conditions to speaking to Allah, and then perhaps setting aside time to listen, and see if some reply is coming through. Our own prayers are not the same thing as ritual salat.

Sometimes our prayer is simply – 'Oh God, help me! What shall I do?'  We can be sure that Allah wants us to do the best thing possible in whatever circumstance we are facing – whether it be divorce of parents, cruelty and abuse, exploitation, personal failure. We all fail. We all have to learn, to get up and start again, to forgive ourselves – for Allah will have forgiven us the moment we were sorry.

Q: What should Christian teens know about Islam?

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: I think the most important thing is to know that the Jewish faith came through revelation from the same God, even if Jews call Him by another name and have a different practice.

Similarly, Christianity also came from the same Divine Source, and then Islam with the giving of the Qur'an.

The prophets of the Bible are the same as those of Islam. Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad (peace be upon all of them) are in the same family tree.

The teachings of all three streams of faith boil down to the same thing – love God with all  your heart, soul  mind and strength, and love your neighbour as yourself. The main issue that divides Muslim from Christian is that Christians have elevated their prophet to the rank of divinity, and if they know the atonement doctrine, believe that all humanity is burdened by 'original sin' which they cannot be realeased from by their own efforts and piety, since it is inherited; therefore God needs to be born as a human being (the incarnation) who was more than human, a God-man or Divine Son of God, in order to be sacrificed on humanity's half and thereby redeem or save humans to believe in this so that they may go to Heaven. Muslims and Jews do not believe that the Divine has a human son but regard Jesus as one of the greatest messengers of God throughout all time.

His virgin birth does not make him a divine Son of God, but a miraculous child and person. Whether he was crucified, died and rose again does not save individuals from their own personal trials and judgement to come.

What matters is that we all address the question of whether it is true or not that there is a God, or life after death, or angelic presence, or the possibility of chosen inspired prophets and their writings – or not?

When we are youngsters, we have probably not had enough time in which to make sense of it all, or come to decisions. We cannot prove the existence of God – it always requires the leap of faith.

I sense that the real important things for proof are the facts that the holy books exist as actual artefacts in history, and messengers from God – whether the important prophets, or the most humble of believers – know His presence in their hearts and live guided and motivated lives.

They have a goal, a purpose – which in Islam is to serve Allah as best we can.

Q: you told me a month ago you have visited your mum in London, I wonder if she'd  converted to Islam too.

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: No, she has not done so. She is a devoted Christian, and very happy in that walk of life - although I do find that whenever we talk together, she often expresses views that are very similar to those of Islam.

She is 91 years of age, but still a 'seeker'.

Q:  How should the Beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) be shown for western people?

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: I a,  hoping that my own major life's work on the Life of the Prophet will be published soon, by the Islamic Institute of Islamabad. They have been editing it for some time - it is a very big book, and not at all like the works of others.

I think people need to realise that the Prophet (pbuh) was an amazing person; an exceptionable human being who was noble and of noble family before his call to prophethood, and who from the age of 40 devoted his entire life to listening to the words of the One who had called Him.

He gave up his private life entirely, and his closely observed ways and words were carefully recorded to guide the rest of us. He was one of the most beloved people of all time, compassionate, courageous, generous, just and honest. His home was refuge to so many - not only the wives he took into his household, but also to many of their children.

His cousin-wife Umm Salamah, for example, the widow of his dearly loved cousin, came to him with three existing children and shortly gave birth to her fourth.

His foster-son Zayd, who married his Abyssinian nanny Umm Ayman although she was some 20 years older than him, and their child Usamah were also among those who lived in his care. There were so many.

He was an extraordinary man, whose life of prayer, thoughtfulness and compassion set a keen example for all Muslims of today.

He was not the sort of man who would blow up innocent passers-by. There is so much one could say about him, but I must leave it here. God bless you, wasalaam, Ruqaiyyah.

Abdur-Rahman: Mrs. Maqsood, thank you very much. God bless you.

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood: May God bless and reward you for all your struggles for His sake. Wasalaam.