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Standards of judging a fiancé

Dr. Yasir Bakkar

Published On: 15/12/2013 A.D. - 11/2/1435 H. Visited: 5191 times

Question

Following-up my previous counsels, I want to mention for you another situation:

After occurring a disagreement between my fiancé and I -while we were going to console his family-, my fiancé came to my father to apologize but my father refused his apology and asked him to sit and end the engagement.

When my fiancé received the wedding pictures, he brought them to us and repeated his apology and his acknowledgement of the mistake; however, my father refused his apology again. Then he tried to bring a mediator but my father insisted on refusal.

He called me and told me that he loves me and asked me to speak to the relatives of my father to give up his situation; am I right or not? Does he want to justify his position before our family?

Was my father right or exaggerative?

Could you kindly answer rapidly so that I can take the correct decision.

Answer

Dear sister, As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah (May Allah's Peace and Mercy be upon you).

My dear sister in Islam, I have told you before that such events cannot judge a young man or affect the decision of continuing the betrothal or not.

You should have got standards more important than just judging his going, coming, and speaking with so and so; believe me things do not go that way.

As for what your fiancé did, I cannot judge him according to the current situation although I think that he is interested in you and keen to support the relationship between you two, and this is a positive sign.

Remember that we all, no matter how high our morals and understanding are, from time to time do mistakes and do not judge matters properly. So, we speak or behave improperly, and it is not just that a person is judged according to an action or a word he said in a situation.

Bear that in mind, but it is more important to look at a person and his situations in general from a wide scope and do not stand at minor situations.

Accept my regards and you are always welcome.

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