Advice

Peace be upon you.

Allah revealed to us His Book and sent to us His Messenger with the laws and rulings. He commanded us to follow His instructions, avoided us to violate them, and told us that our survival, in this world and in the Hereafter, lies in those teachings.

Therefore, we have to do good and enjoin it, avoid evil and forbid it, and to help those who transgress these limits to go back to Allah. Allah (Glory be to Him) says: “Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islâm), enjoining Al-Ma‘rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islâm has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful.” [Surat Al-Imran: 104]. Allah, the Almighty, says: “You [true believers in Islâmic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and his Sunnah] are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma‘rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islâm has forbidden), and you believe in Allâh.” [Surat Al-Imran: 110]. Allah (Glory be to Him) also says: “The believers, men and women, are Auliyâ’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma‘rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islâm has forbidden).” [Surat At-Tawbah: 71].

The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “The example of the person abiding by Allah's order and restrictions in comparison to those who violate them is like the example of those persons who drew lots for their seats in a boat. Some of them got seats in the upper part, and the others in the lower. When the latter needed water, they had to go up to bring water (and that troubled the others), so they said, 'Let us make a hole in our share of the ship (and get water) saving those who are above us from troubling them. So, if the people in the upper part left the others do what they had suggested, all the people of the ship would be destroyed, but if they prevented them, both parties would be safe.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]. The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “He who amongst you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue, and if he has not strength enough to do it, (even) then he should (abhor it) from his heart, and that is the least of faith.” [Reported by Muslim].

Therefore, enjoining good and forbidding evil is the secret of goodness of this nation after believing in Allah; by which the religion is established, the Shari`ah is preserved, and the faith is protected.

In dealing with the opposite party, we should take into consideration the following mattes:
1 – Sincerity to Allah (Glory be to Him) and truthfulness in advice for they are the most important causes of opposites’ response and returning to the truth.

2 – Showing leniency, compassion, and mercy for they are the key to attracting the heart, as Allah says: “And by the Mercy of Allâh, you dealt with them gently. And had you (Muhammad peace be upon him) been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allâh’s) Forgiveness for them.” [Surat Al-Imran: 159].

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness).” [Reported by Muslim]. He also said: “Kindness is not to be found in anything but that it adds to its beauty and it is not withdrawn from anything but it makes it defective.” [Reported by Muslim].

3 – You should be honest in advising him, as Allah says about Prophet Hud when he advised his people “And I am a trustworthy adviser (or well-wisher) for you.” [Surat Al-A`raf: 68].

4 – We should put the Prophet's Hadith before our eyes while advising others: “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Although his or her sin, they still our Muslim brothers and sisters and we should love for them what we love for ourselves.

5 – We should know that advising him or her is not a favor or a grace that we can insult them with or ask them to return it back, but it is their right upon us. Jarir ibn `Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: I gave the pledge of allegiance to Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) for the following: 1. offer prayers perfectly 2. pay the Zakat (obligatory charity) 3. and be sincere and true to every Muslim. [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

As for the travel of some friends of your mother and yours without a Mahram, it is not permissible and we have explained that you should advise them, but you should know that the advice of anyone may be taken or not except that of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).

As for how to advise them, of the things that bring about good results — in addition to what we have mentioned — are the following:

1 – Come closer to them and befriending them by presenting gifts to them to attract their hearts because the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to do that with the polytheists and the newly converted Muslims to attract their hearts with money.

2 – Praise them and counting their merits before advising. Prophet Shu`ayb (peace be upon him) said to his people before advising them “I see you in prosperity and verily I fear for you the torment of a Day encompassing.” [Surat Hud: 84].

3 – Reminding them that as long as they are religious, they should be a model example to others by committing themselves to the Shari`ah of Allah and submitting to His teachings: “O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is with Allâh that you say that which you do not do.” [Surat As-Saf: 2 3].

4 – Reminding them with Allah, the Last Day, and the necessity to obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah, the Almighty, says: “And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad peace be upon him) gives you, take it; and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it). And fear Allâh; verily, Allâh is Severe in punishment.” [Surat Al-Hashr: 7]. Allah (Glory be to Him) said: “It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allâh and His Messenger (peace be upon him) have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh and His Messenger (peace be upon him), he has indeed strayed into a plain error.” [Surat Al-Ahzab: 36]. Allah, the Almighty, says: “Indeed, in the Messenger of Allâh (Muhammad peace be upon him) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allâh and the Last Day, and remembers Allâh much.” [Surat Al-Ahzab: 21].

5 – Warning them against violating the commands of Allah and His Messenger. Allah, the Almighty, says: “And let those who oppose the Messenger’s (Muhammad peace be upon him) commandment (i.e. his Sunnah — legal ways— orders, acts of worship, statements, etc.) (among the sects) beware, lest some Fitnah (disbelief, trials, afflictions, earthquakes, killing, overpowered by a tyrant) should befall them or a painful torment be inflicted on them.” [Surat An-Nur: 63]. Allah (Glory be to Him) says: “But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad peace be upon him) judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission.” [Surat An-Nisa’: 65].

6 – Seeking the help of those people who are close to their hearts to remind them with the command of Allah in this regard, perhaps Allah opens their hearts for the truth.

7 – Checking if they have some doubts in this regard, such as: this is not a real travel, the prohibition was for the danger of the road, or travel used to take days and months in the past but now it takes several hours…etc, and trying to remove them.

8 – Observing patience in advising them, seeking the reward from Allah, not to despair, and advising them every now and then.

9 – Taking advantage from the times of approaching to Allah, such as reminding them after attending a knowledge session or after performing Salah because their heart will be open in these times and ready to accept advice more than any other time.

10 – Warning them of abstaining from them if they do not cease doing this if you know that will reform them and amend their behaviors because the Prophet (peace be upon him) abandoned three of his men for fifty days because they did not participate in the Battle of Tabuk, but if this will not affect them, do not do it.

May Allah bless you, help you, guide you the best way. May Allah make you beneficial to Islam and Muslims.