Sexual harassment made me lose my self-confidence

My honorable daughter, As-Salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).

In the beginning, I would like to welcome you to Alukah Network. We ask Allah (may He be Exalted) to guide us to offer all useful information to you and to all Muslims as well.

By reading your message, I see that you have many beautiful characteristics, and I agree with the supervisor. However, your submission to that mistake and thinking about it prevented you from showing these characteristics as it caused you many unpredictable troubles.

Letting your brother committing adultery with you is a sin that drops any justification you may have. Now you are in an age that makes you understand that the action of your brother was wrong not as you justified in the beginning of your letter.

Moreover, the repetition of sexual harassment by men indicates that you stay alone with them and that you will not expose their secret which encouraged them to do so. Furthermore, your teachers' accord that it is you who gives them the chance to do so indicates your weakness in that matter and due to the experience of your teachers, they could know that.

Despite your upset and feeling oppressed due to their descriptions, your actions and reactions sustain their view. How come you keep silent for the action of your brother and responding to him to the extent that you have become pregnant? Moreover, you insist on keeping silent and refuse to go to see a psychiatrist.

As I see a kind of blame to your mother because of her weak stance from your brother and she did not advise you to go to a psychiatrist.

I wonder, if you can go to a gynecologist without her knowledge, why did not you go to a psychiatrist before the situation develops?

My dear, your problem in short lies in following your instincts and breaking all forbidden laws which caused you to fall a prey to self-disrespect, despair, and weakness.

To overpass this matter, first you have to repent to Allah and beseech Him to forgive you. Stop your brother and do not let him approach you even if the matter requires to make a complaint against him if your father does not stop him. Make up your mind to leave all deniable actions you used to do, and replace them with righteous ones to draw you nearer to Allah and raise your self-appreciation then appreciating those around you. Keep to Salah and do more righteous deeds and seek forgiveness.

I also advise you to volunteer to do charitable deeds to deliver aid to those who need it, and compare your conditions with their miserable situations then feel the countless blessings of Allah to you, and see how you are heedless about.

Finally, I conclude with this invocation to Allah to guide you and your brother, forgive you, and reform your conditions.