Friends And Social Life

Before marriage a girl or woman naturally has a circle of female friends who are her closest confidants. These friendships are not dropped on marriage, but a wife   should remember that her closet friend now should be her husband. It is not right for her to tell her friends all the details of her married life particularly the sexual relationship, which is entirely private. Nor should she pass on to others what her husband says in a private conversation. It is indiscreet and could do harm if his private remarks are passed on to become a source of gossip. If a wife cannot control her tongue and tells her friends whatever he says or does, she will soon find herself in trouble. If she wishes to be in her husband's confidence she must be capable of keeping confidential matters to herself.

If there is a problem between her and her husband on which she needs advice she should be cautious to task only a person of proven integrity who will give sincere counsel and will not gossip to others.

In her public appearance a wife should observe Islamic principles of dress and behave modesty. She should avoid showing off her figure, her clothes or her jewellery. She should also avoid wearing perfume in public. Her dress should cover all parts of the body except the face and hands. It should be neither tight nor transparent so as to reveal the figure. It should not make her look like a man.

They style and colour do not matter as long as the dress conforms to these Islamic requirements, and is not designed to attract attention.  

When she is at home or away from the sight of men who are not her close relatives, she may dress to please herself and her husband.

What is the wisdom behind the difference between a Muslim woman's public appearance and private appearance?

A woman's beauty is a part of her sexual attraction. Dress and adornment may enhance that attraction or conceal it. Islam requires a husband and wife to be faithful to one another, and prescribes deterrent legal punishment for adultery. It is a part of wisdom therefore to wear clothes that conceal sexual attraction, so as not to encourage the very thing which Islam forbids.

On the other hand Islam does not regard sexual relations between spouses as sinful in themselves. On the contrary it encourages married partners to enjoy sexual relations with each other, since this will increase satisfaction in marriage and reduce the temptation to seek satisfaction outside marriage. Therefore the Muslim wife at home is expected to take care of her appearance and wear her beautiful clothes, jewellery and perfume so as to enhance her attraction to her husband.

Many women foolishly practice the reverse, they wear their most attractive clothes when they go out in order to be admired by strangers, while at home they go around in old clothes with untidy hair as if it no longer matters whether their husbands find them attractive or not.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that a woman may go out for her needs. Provided she is in hijab (modest Islamic dress) she may go out for any lawful purpose. A wife should however avoid roaming around aimlessly or mixing unnecessarily with men. She should tell her husband where she is going and have his consent. She should not put herself in a situation where she is alone with a man other than her husband or close relative (within the prohibited degrees of marriage).

She should not allow into her house any man of whom her husband would not approve; nor should she visit such a person. There may also be some women of whom husband disapproves, with whom he may restrict his wife's friendship - because of her habits of spreading gossip or of interference in the family affairs, or of other harmful influence. A wife should where possible, avoid actions or situations which could give rise to gossip about her conduct, or jealousy of the husband, even if she has no bad intentions.

If the wife's public appearance and behaviour indicate that she is a faithful Muslim wife she will gain the respect of other men and avoid unwanted attention. If the husband is assured of his wife's true love and respect for him, he will be spared from jealousy and suspicion. All these principles of conduct contribute to the strength of the marriage and the success of family life.

Other aspects of Islamic family and social life which a wife should observe are respect for the husband's parents, hospitality and good neighbourly relationships, fostered by acts of kindness and care for their welfares.