What do you think of the behavior of my brother in law?

Dear valued brother, As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

Welcome to Alukah Network.

Marriage is not only a connection between spouses but it is also encounter of cultures and connection between two families. The family of your wife is also your family, so think if that person were your brother, what would you do?

My advice to you is to confront him and be frank which is necessary in such situation. So, sit with him along with your wife and explain everything in details. It is preferable to have a third party with you such as a brother or an uncle perhaps he can rein in his irresponsible behavior. In case he continues his bad actions and lack of understanding, the best solution is to say to him: No, we cannot. Be firm when you utter it. He shall be frustrated and gets angry in the beginning then he shall understand your firm situation.

Your wife should call her brother from time to time even if he is so bad, and he shall feel regret in the coming days or perhaps Allah would guide him because of establishing kind relationship with him.

May Allah guide you and show kindness to you.