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Home / Counsels / Social

Marrying a repentant adulteress

Sheikh Khalid `Abdul-Mon`im Ar-Rifa`y

Published On: 20/12/2014 A.D. - 27/2/1436 H.   Visited: 5996 times     


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Question

 

 

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

My problem began when a female colleague phoned me asking for help. That girl had a forbidden relationship with a young man and was asking me to help her get rid of that person who pursuits her every moment and force her to go out with him. By the virtue of Allah, I helped her by giving her a set of advices and guidelines which enabled her to get rid of him, taking into consideration that my contact with her was via phone.

That girl thanked me a lot and is trying to show gratitude to me by all means.

She started to feel comfortable with me and get me in her life details until I felt some emotional inclination toward me and I have some emotional inclination to her too. I was fascinated by her beauty, kindness, and inclination, but I did not say anything to her except after her declaration to me that she loves me. In fact, I love her too but I cannot accept her as a wife and a mother of my children because of the sexual relationship she had with that person. She regretted severely for the times she had illegal sex with that person.

She told me that she repented sincerely to Allah and she regrets between herself for what she had done and feels her major sin. However, if I accept her as a wife, I fear that the person who had sex with her would have taken some pictures to their intimate relationship and intends to use them in the future, then my honor and reputation shall be in danger before people.

Could you kindly advise?

Answer

All praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, upon his family, his Companions, and those who follow him.

The problem is your saying that you cannot accept her as a wife and the mother your children even if the rest of your message contradicts that.

You mentioned in your letter that she repented sincerely to Allah, regretted, and felt great pain for what she had done. You have noticed the change which is the result of repentance because Allah (Glory be to Him) forgives the sins of a repentant and his conditions after repentance changes to the better. Allah (Glory be to Him) said: "And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do." [Surat Ash-Shura: 25].

Allah (may He be Exalted) said after He had threatened those who commit the most grievous sins with His Saying: Except those who repent and believe (in Islâmic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allâh will change their sins into good deeds, and Allâh is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Surat Al Furqan: 70].

Allah (may He be Exalted) is Forgiving and Merciful, Kind and Generous. If He knows the truthfulness of a repentant, He would forgive him and erase his sins. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "Say: O 'Ibâdî (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allâh: verily, Allâh forgives all sins. Truly He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Surat Az-Zumar: 53].

Ibn Majah reported on the authority of Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The one who repents of his sins is like those who have no sin."

If the matter as mentioned, there is no harm on you to marry that girl. Be frank with yourself, pause sincerely with yourself, and think rationally in your love, for this is very useful to you. Check all her situations with you and ponder over them, have you touched her sincere repentance and her desire in an honorable life? Or she deceives you to get a husband?

If her conditions are sincere, ask the choice from Allah, rely on Allah and marry her, and do not incline to Satanic insinuations and close that black page of her life.

Do not busy yourself with that person or the fear from the scandal, and rely on Allah. "And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things." [Surat At-Talaq: 3]. It is well-known that if he had some pictures, he would have blackmailed her long time ago and would have tried to reach her during the last period without waiting until she marries.

I ask Allah to estimate goodness for you wherever it is.

 



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