Relationship With The Self

Acknowledging our shortcomings is one of the first steps in order to have a healthy relationship with ourselves. When we acknowledge our shortcomings, then we start on the path to self-discipline. This acknowledgement is one of the things that make us discipline ourselves and it is a sign of Allah’s care, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, Allah will not change the condition of a people as long as they do not change their state themselves” [Surah al-Ra’d, 13:11]
So whoever tries to change for the sake of Allah, Allah will help him to change.

Beware of minor and major sins

Most fires start due to minor causes, and one sin leads to another. If the heart is darkened and blackened because of sin, it will no longer be a heart that is alive and recognizes good as good and evil as evil.

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood radi allahu anhu that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihe wassallam said: “Beware of trivial sins, for they will accumulate until they destroy a man.” And the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihe wassallam gave an example, likening them to people who stopped to camp in the wilderness, and they wanted to prepare some food, so one man went and brought a stick, and another man brought a stick, until they had gathered a huge pile and lit a fire, and whatever they put in the pot was cooked as a result[1].

Beware of the fitnah (temptation) of wealth

The one whom Allah has blessed with wealth should use that wealth to help him obey Allah and spend it in ways that please Allah and beware of going to extremes with regard to permissible things or spending it on haraam things, for wealth may be a cause of a person being tempted away from his religious commitment. Allah says:
“Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward (Paradise)” [Surah at-Taghaabun, 64:15]

Choosing righteous companions

Strive to choose righteous friends who are religiously-committed, trustworthy and of good character, who are sincere towards Allah and are preoccupied with seeking knowledge and are of a good nature, who can help you in achieving your aim and encourage you to do good deeds.

Beware of the bad companion, for he may influence you and people are like birds, they will resemble one another [i.e., “birds of a feather flock together”]. So beware of mixing with people like that, for that is a sickness, and prevention is better than cure.

Temptation to show off

Riya’ (showing off) renders good deeds void and unacceptable, turning them into sins and making the person who has this riya’ liable for Hellfire. An act of worship intended for other than Allah will bear witness against the person on the Day of Judgment and he will be subject to punishment for this very deed.

The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassalam said, “Whoever shows off, Allah will expose him.”[2]

Ibn Hajar said: al-Khattaabi said, this means: whoever does something that is not sincerely for the sake of Allah, merely wanting people to see him and hear him, will be punished for that – Allah will expose him and make known what he is concealing.

It was said that whoever does something with the intention of gaining status and prestige among people, and does not seek the Face of Allah by doing it, Allah will make him the subject of bad speech among the people in whose eyes he wanted to gain status, and he will have no reward for it in the Hereafter.[3]

Control your anger

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihe wasslam said, "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection."[4]

Another great reward is described in the Prophet’s words: "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hur al-‘Iyn whoever he wants."[5]

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihe wassallam said: "The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.[6]"

The greater the anger, the higher the status of the one who controls himself. The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassllam said: "The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger.[7]"

Humble yourself

Humility is a virtue on which a special stress is laid in the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

It is related by Haritha ibn Wahb radiallahu anhu that the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihe wasallam said: “Shall I not tell you about the inhabitants of Paradise? They are weak one, who is considered weak, who if he were to swear an oath by Allah, He would keep it. Shall I not tell you about the inhabitants of Hell? They are very surely, uncivil and proud one.” [8]

This hadith describes the people of Paradise as weak, weak means a noble, humble, and mild person who deals humbly with others whom others regard as weak in comparison, the proud and arrogant.

Watch out for Hasad (Envy)

Hasad is a desire that a blessing, or a cause of happiness, may depart from its possessor and become transferred to oneself. Hasad is cancerous in its effect and leads to hatred, animosity, as well as ill-feeling and often further disobedience towards Allah. It is condemned in many ahadith.

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassallam said, ‘Envy eats away good deeds like fire eats away wood.[9]’

Be Generous

If you are generous to others, Allah will be generous to you. Value the bounty that has been given to you and try your utmost to act in accordance with the same generosity and give out from that which you have been blessed with.

A man once asked the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassallam for something in charity and the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassallam gave him a flock of sheep. When the man returned to his people he said, ‘O my people, convert to Islam, because Muhammad gives [in charity]