Good Manners a Muslim should follow (3/5)

7- Mercy and dutifulness to parents:

We should be merciful with everything even with animals. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said, "A woman was punished in Hell because of a cat which she had confined until it died. She did not give it to eat or to drink when it was confined, nor did she free it so that it might eat the vermin of the earth.'' (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

It is necessary for the Muslim to treat animals kindly and tenderly. Harshness to them is unlawful.

It was narrated by Jarir bin ‘Abdullah, that the Messenger of God (Peace be upon him) said: “He who is not merciful to people Allah will not be merciful to him.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Allah describes the believers as merciful among themselves as Allah says:

“Muhammad (SAW) is the Messenger of Allah, and those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves.” (Surat Al-Fath: 29)

The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said as he describes the Muslim community: “He is not among us who does not show mercy to our younger and does not respect our elder”.

In addition, kindness has a great reward as it was reported by Aishah that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: “Allah is Forbearer and He loves forbearance, and rewards for forbearance while He does not reward severity, and does not give for anything besides it (forbearance).” (Reported by Muslim)

The Prophet was merciful, compassionate and kind to needy and poor people, widows and orphans and he never rejected a beggar or needy person. It was narrated by Abu Hurairrah that the Prophet kissed his grandson Al-Hasan bin Ali in the presence of Al-Aqra’ bin Habis. Thereupon he remarked: “I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.” The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) looked at him and said, “He who does not show mercy to others will not be shown mercy.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

It was narrated by Aisha that she said: A Bedouin came to the Prophet Mohammed (Peace be upon him) and said: “You (people) kiss the boys! We don’t kiss them.” The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, “I cannot put mercy in your heart after Allah has taken it away from it.” (Reported by Sahih Al-Bukhari)

And it was narrated by Jarir bin Abdullah Al-Bajali: The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: “He who is not merciful to others, will not be treated mercifully.” (Reported by Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Kind treatment towards parents:

Allah makes our love and kind feelings towards our children natural in our hearts. Because of this, there aren’t a lot of verses in the Quran urging us to be kind and sympathetic towards our children. Whereas, there are a lot of verses in the Quran urging Muslims to be kind and dutiful to their parents specially if they are old, weak and helpless and in need of their sons’ care and kindness. Allah says:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. (23) *And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small."” (Surat Al-Isra’:24)

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years”. (Surat Luqman: 14)

“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty (30) months”. (Surat Al-Ahqaf: 15)

The righteous man prays and invokes Allah for himself, his parents and his offspring because his invocation is a protection and preservation for all future generation from Satan’s seduction, so that the whole earth is preserved and built according to Allah’s well. Allah says:

“Till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: "My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will)."” (Surat Al-Ahqaf: 15)

In addition, parents deserve the best care and attention. It was related that Abu Huraira said: “A man came to the Messenger of God (prayers and peace be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of God! Who deserves my best care and attention?’ The Prophet said: ‘Your mother.’ The man said: ‘Who after that?’ The Prophet said: ‘Your mother.’ The man said: ‘Who after that?’ The Prophet said: ‘Your mother.’ The man asked a fourth time: ‘Who after that?’ The Prophet said: ‘Then your father.’”(Reported by Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Moreover, Allah made a correlation between thanking Allah with thanking parents as Allah says:

“Give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (Surat Luqman: 14)

No matter how many good deeds we do for our parents, we can never ever repay them for all they did for us. A man once came to Rasul-Allah (Peace be upon him) and said that he had carried his mother on his own shoulders single handed throughout all the rites and rituals of Hajj. He went on to ask if by doing this, he had repaid his mother for the kindness she had shown him as a child. Rasul-Allah (Peace be upon him) replied by saying that all he had done had not paid back for one single contraction of the womb during labor when his mother bore him.

Furthermore, dutifulness to parents is one of the good deeds which save from perdition. It was related that Abd Allah ibn ‘Umar said: “I heard the Messenger (Peace be upon him) says: “Once three men from those before you set off together until they reached a cave at nightfall and they entered it. It happened that a rock rolled down the mountainside and closed off the cave’s entrance. They said: ‘Our only hope to be saved from this rock is to beseech God to have mercy upon us because of the good deeds we formerly did for His sake.’ So the first one said: ‘O God! When my parents were old I never gave milk to my wife, children or slaves before first giving them. Once I was late and by the time I came they had slept. I milked the animals for them and took the milk to them, but I found them asleep. I could not bring myself to give my family and slaves before them, so I waited with the bowl of milk in my hand until the down broke. Then they awakened and drank the milk. O God! If You see that I did so for Your Sake alone, then save us from the danger where are facing because of this rock.’ Then the rock moved slightly.’ (Reported by Muslim)

Indeed, kind treatment towards parents is a direct reason for entering Paradise as it was narrated by Abu Hurairrah that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: “May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced! Whose parents, one or both, attain old age during his life time, and he does not enter Jannah (by rendering being dutiful to them).” (Reported by Muslim)

Keeping their commitments and providing for them is an example treatment towards parents.

‘A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that a man said to Allah's Apostle (Peace be upon him): My mother died all of a sudden, and I think if she (could have the opportunity) to speak she would have (made a will) regarding Sadaqa'. Will I be entitled to reward if I give charity on her behalf ? He (the Holy Prophet) said: ‘Yes’.’ (Reported by Muslim)

(Continued)