Awakening the desire for marriage

All praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah alone who has no partner and I bear witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.

The favors of Allah upon people are numerous and consecutive day and night. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And if you count the Blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them. Verily! Man is indeed an extreme wrong-doer, - a disbeliever (an extreme ingrate, denies Allah's Blessings by disbelief, and by worshipping others besides Allah, and by disobeying Allah and His Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him)." [Surat Ibrahim: 34].

Of these great favors is the blessing of marriage which is one of the signs of Allah. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." [Surat Ar-Rum: 21].

Marriage is one of the Sunan of the Messengers, Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad peace be upon him), and made for them wives and offspring." [Surat Ar-Ra`d: 38].

The Prophet (peace be upon him) married more than one woman, and said: "I marry women, so he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)."[1]

Allah (may He be Exalted) exhorted people in marriage saying: "Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the slaves) that your right hands possess." [Surat An-Nisa': 3].

The Lawgiver urged people to it because of the resulting benefits whether in the world or in the Hereafter, of which are the following:

First, increasing the offspring of the Muslim nation: Whenever the nation increases, it gets the glory and the prestige which cannot be achieved in the case of fewness, therefore Allah reminded the Children of Israel of that blessing which is multiplication by His Saying: "And made you more numerous in man power." [Surat Al Isra': 6].

Shu`ayb (Jethro) reminded his people of that, Allah (Glory be to Him) said about him: "And remember when you were but few, and He multiplied you." [Surat Al A`raf: 86].

Abu Dawud reported in his Sunan from the Hadith of Ma`qil ibn Yasar (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: "A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: I have found a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not give birth to children. Should I marry her? He (the Messenger of Allah) said: No. He came again to him, but he prohibited him. He came to him third time, and he (the Prophet) said: Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall outnumber the peoples with you."[2]

Second, virtuousness by marriage of married couple: Marriage is a fortification for men and women from falling into things which Allah prohibited. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fâhishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allâh forgives him)." [Surat Al Isra': 32].

Al Bukhari and Muslim reported in their books of authentic Hadiths from the Hadith of Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.)."[3]

Third, marriage is a protection for both spouses and beauty. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "They are Lîbas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her - as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabarî], for you and you are the same for them." [Surat Al Baqarah: 187].

Fourth, women are the lodge for men: Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwâ' (Eve)], in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." [Surat Al A`raf: 189].

As men build houses to take cover against heat and cold, wives are lodges for men in which affability and comfort lie.

Fifth, intimacy and mercy between spouses: Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." [Surat Ar-Rum: 21].

Sixth, happiness and helping people to obedience and goodness: Ibn Hibban reported in his Sahih from the Hadith of Sa`d (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Four [matters] are part of happiness: righteous wife, a wide house, righteous neighbor, and pleasant mount."[4]

Imam Muslim reported in his Sahih from the Hadith of `Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn Al `As (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The world is but a (quick passing) enjoyment; and the best enjoyment of the world is a pious and virtuous woman."[5]

Seventh, marriage is a cause for richness and abundant livelihood: Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty." [Surat An-Nur: 32].

Some Predecessors used to advise people who were inflicted by poverty with marriage due to this Ayah. Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Obey Allah in which He commanded you of marriage to accomplish for you the richness which He has promised you."[6]

Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Allah (may He be Exalted) exhorted them to marriage, commanded freemen as well as slaves with it, and promised them with richness. He said: "If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty."[7]

A person who wants to immune himself against immorality is helped for marriage. At-Tirmidhy reported in his Sunan from the Hadith of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Three people have a right to Allah's help: the warrior in Allah's path, the Mukatab who resolves to pay and the one who marries with intention of being chaste."[8]

Eighth, giving birth to righteous offspring: Allah (may He be Exalted) said about Zakariyya: "Saying: "O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation."" [Surat Al `Imran: 38].

Imam Muslim reported in his Sahih from the Hadith of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When a man dies, his acts come to an end but three: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased)."[9]

Scholars said: Marriage due to lust is better than voluntary acts of worship because of many benefits, and marriage may become incumbent sometimes such as if a person has a powerful lust and fears for himself to fall into forbidden matters, then he must marry to protect himself. Al Bukhari and Muslim reported in their books of authentic Hadiths from the Hadith of `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."[10]

What I advise young men to do is to marry early as long as a person is able to marry in execution to the command of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and because of the great benefits which I have mentioned.

Qualities of a chosen wife:

First, a wife should be religious and of good manners: Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property)." [Surat An-Nisa': 34].

Al Bukhari and Muslim reported in their books of authentic Hadiths from the Hadith of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So, you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."[11]

Imam Muslim reported in his Sahih from the Hadith of `Abdullah ibn `Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The world is but a (quick passing) enjoyment; and the best enjoyment of the world is a pious and virtuous woman."[12]

A righteous woman was described in the Hadith which An-Nasa'y reported in his Sunan from the Hadith of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: "It was said to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him): Who of women is the best? He (the Prophet) said: The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth."[13]

Second, to be a virgin because of the Prophet's saying in Sahih Al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim from the Hadith of Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him): "Why have you not married a virgin to fondle with each other?"[14]

However, if a person married a previously married woman for any reason, it is good. It was reported in Sahih Al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him): "Why have you not married a virgin to fondle with each other? Jabir said: My father died and left daughters, so I decided to marry a widow (an experienced woman) (to look after them)."[15]

Third, to be a nice and friendly woman as Abu Dawud reported in his Sunan from the Hadith of Ma`qil ibn Yasar (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: "A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: I have found a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not give birth to children, shall I marry her? He said: No. He came again to him, but he prohibited him. Then he came for the third time and he (the Prophet) said: Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall outnumber the peoples with you."[16] [17]

Some people said: Her fertility is known by looking at the conditions of her mother, grandmother, maternal aunts, and parental aunts. If they beget children, they probably shall be like them.

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds [i.e., people]. and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and all his Companions.

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[1] Sahih Al Bukhari (No. 5063) and Sahih Muslim (No. 1401).

[2] Sunan Abu Dawud (No. 2050), and Al Albany said in Sahih Sunan Abu Dawud 2/386 (No. 1804): A good and authentic Hadith.

[3] Sahih Al Bukhari (No. 5056) and Sahih Muslim (No. 1400).

[4] Sahih Ibn Hibban (No. 4021) and Al Albany graded it as authentic in As-Silsilah As-Sahihah, (1/571) (No. 2820).

[5] Sahih Muslim (No. 1467).

[6] Tafsir Ibn Kathir (10/226).

[7]Ibid. (10/226).

[8] Sunan At-Tirmidhy (No. 1655) and At-Tirmidhy said: This is a good Hadith.

[9] Sahih Muslim (No. 1631).

[10] It was previously attributed to its sources.

[11] Sahih Al Bukhari (No. 5090) and Sahih Muslim (No. 1466).

[12] It was previously attributed to its sources.

[13] Sunan An-Nasa'y (12/383 - 384) (No. 7421), the verifiers of Hadith said: Its chain of transmission is strong.

[14] It will be attributed to its sources.

[15] Sahih Al Bukhari (No. 2097) and Sahih Muslim (No. 715).

[16] Sunan Abu Dawud (No. 2050), and Al Albany said in Sahih Sunan Abu Dawud: A good and authentic Hadith, (2/386) (No. 1804).

[17] See: The book of "approaching marriage" of Sheikh Muhammad Al Munajjid.