Visiting The Graves (1/2)

Visiting the graves of those who died is recommended in Islam in order to help the living reflect on the shortness of this life and the closeness of the next.  In the Makkan period when Islam was first being spread, visiting graveyards was   prohibited.  Later on the Prophet (Peace be upon him) permitted it.

Buraydah related that Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him) said, “I forbade you from visiting graves, but you may now visit them, for in visiting them there is a reminder of death. [So whoever wishes to visit may do so, but don’t say anything false][1].” [2]

Imam an-Nawawee stated that “The prohibition was due to their closeness to the pre-Islamic period of ignorance, which could have led them to make inappropriate statements at the graves. When the foundations of Islam were firmly established, and its rules and principles had become well-known, visiting the graves was permitted.  The Prophet (Peace be upon him) added, as a precaution, the warning, “But don’t say anything false.” ” [3]

Women Visiting Graves:

The recommendation to visit graves is general and includes women, just as the earlier prohibition included them without any special mention.  Furthermore, women share with men the benefits of visiting the graves. 

In al-Haakim’s narration from Anas ibn Maalik, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) was quoted as saying, “Visit the [graves], because it softens the heart, brings tears to the eyes and reminds of the next life, but don’t say anything false.”[4]

 ‘Aa’ishah, wife of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and one of the leading scholars among his followers, understood the permission to visit graves to include women.

 ‘Abdullaah ibn Abee Mulaykah said: One day when ‘Aa’ishah came from the graveyard, I asked her:  O Mother of the Believers, where are you coming from. She replied, “From ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Abee Bakr’s grave.” So I asked her: Didn’t Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him) forbid the visiting of graves?  She replied, “Yes, then he instructed that they be visited.”[5]

When the Prophet (Peace be upon him) found a woman crying in the graveyard, he did not chase her out of the graveyard, but told her not to cry.

Anas ibn Maalik related that once the Prophet (Peace be upon him) passed by a woman crying beside a grave and said to her, “Fear Allah and be patient.”[6]

After mentioning this hadeeth under the heading ‘Visiting Graves’, Ibn Hajar said: The [scholars] disagreed regarding women [visiting graves].  The majority held that they are included in the general permission for visiting graves [if there is no danger of corruption].    The ruling permitting women to visit graves is supported by the hadeeth of this chapter.  The source of evidence in the hadeeth is the fact that he (Peace be upon him) did not censure the woman for sitting beside the grave and whatever he approves is proof [of its permissibility].[7]

However, frequent visitation of graves by women is not permissible. Hassaan ibn Thaabit narrated that Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him) cursed women who frequently visit graves.[8]

Imam al-Qurtubi said that the curse mentioned in the hadeeth is for those women who are frequent visitors as indicated by the intensive form of the word zuwwarat.  Perhaps the reason is the negative result of frequent visits like: the husband’s rights, unnecessary public exposure of women, as well as it leading to wailing and other forbidden expressions of grief.[9]

Visiting Non-Muslim Graves: 

Although participation in the funeral rites of non-Muslims is not permitted, Muslims are allowed to visit the graves of disbelievers for reflection.  However, praying for those who die in a state of disbelief is totally prohibited.

“Whether you ask forgiveness for them or you do not, even if you ask seventy times for their forgiveness, Allah will never forgive them.”                                             

“Do not make the funeral prayer for any of them who die, nor stand at his grave.”

Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) was prevented by Allah from praying for his own mother, because she and his father had died as a polytheists.

Aboo Hurayrah related that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) visited the grave of his mother and cried and caused those around him to cry. Then he said, “I asked my Lord’s permission to pray for her forgiveness and permission was not granted to me. Then I asked His permission to visit her grave and He permitted me. So visit the graves, for it makes you mindful of death.” [10]

Anas related that a man asked: O Messenger of Allah, where is my father?  He replied, “In the hellfire.”  When he turned, he called him and said, “Your father and my father are together in the hellfire.”[11]

In fact, Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) had instructed one of his companions to give tidings of the hellfire whenever he passed by the grave of a disbeliever.                                    

Sa‘d ibn Abee Waqqaas reported that a Bedouin came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and asked: My father used to maintain family ties, and he was this and that.  So where is he? He replied, “In the hellfire.” It was as though the Bedouin found it difficult to take, so he asked: O Messenger of Allah, where is your father?  He replied, “Wherever you pass by the grave of a disbeliever, give him tidings of hell.” The Bedouin accepted Islam after that and later said:  Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him) burdened me with a tiresome responsibility. I haven’t passed by the grave of a disbeliever without giving him tidings of hell.[12]

Du’aa: 

When visiting the graveyard, general prayers should be made for all of those buried there.

Muhammad ibn Qays quoted ‘Aa’ishah as saying:  I asked: How should I pray for them, O Messenger of Allah? He replied, “Say: As-Salaamu ‘alaa ahliddiyaari minal-mu’mineena wal-muslimeen [Peace be on the believers and Muslim inhabitants of this city] wa yarhamullaahul-mustaqdimeena minnaa wal-musta’khireen [May Allah have mercy on those who went before us and those coming after] wa innaa in shaa Allahu bikum lalaahiqoon [Indeed, we will - Allah willing - be joining you.]”[13]                                              

Buraydah said:  Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him) used to teach them what to say whenever they went out to the graveyard.  They would say, “As-Salaamu ‘alaykum ahladdiyaari minal-mu’mineena wal-muslimeen [Peace be on you, the believers and Muslim inhabitants of this city] wa innaa in shaa Allahu lalaahiqoon  [Indeed, we will - Allah willing - be joining you.]  as’alul-laaha lanaa wa lakumul-‘aafiyah [I ask Allah for your well-being and ours.]” [14]