True Love

When we read the life of Mu’aadhah, we come to see the great love she had for her husband. For not only was he a great mujaahid (combatant in the way of Allah ‘azza wa jall), but he was also a great 'aabid (worshipper) and therefore shared and strived for the same goal as her - to worship the Lord of the heavens and the earth.

Indeed, it is a great blessing for a Muslim woman to be blessed with a righteous and Allah-fearing husband with whom she can work to improve herself, both knowledge and Iman (faith)-wise.

Such a sister should thank Allah (‘azza wa jall) profusely for having bestowed on her, especially in today’s day and age, a husband of such a religious standing. She should try to overlook issues and matters which may not be to her liking or annoy her, but are religiously permissible, and instead serve him to the best of her ability so as to gain Paradise. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) has said: “If a woman prays her five (daily) prayers and keeps her private parts chaste and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any of the doors of Paradise she wishes.”[1]

If a sister’s husband isn’t as religious as her, or if there is an element(s) of spirituality missing in her spouse’s life, then she should try her utmost, using the love between them, to encourage him with patience, intelligence and wisdom, and should sincerely invoke and turn to Allah to bring about the remembrance of and closeness of Him (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) into their married life.

For example, while spending time with her husband, she could try and bring up the subject of Allah’s (‘azza wa jall) favours, blessings, signs of His existence and the fact that Allah (‘azza wa jall) is above, watching all that we do and hearing all that we say. She could also convey to him interesting and heart-moving sayings, facts and incidents from the lives of the righteous. If she doesn’t know many, then she should strive to remove ignorance from herself; for, how can we endeavor to change others when we are in need of change within ourselves? Allah (‘azza wa jall) says: “Allah will not change the state of a people as long as they do not change their state themselves.”[2]

Therefore dear Sister,

Turn to Allah and plead to Him to remove satan’s stealth

Begin a revival in yourself

Return to the books of knowledge, our spiritual wealth

Allah willing, you will see a revival in your heart and its health

Thereby removing ignorance from your husband,

But firstly and most importantly: in yourself.

If a Muslim woman does this in a wise and prudent fashion over a period of time, even if her husband is not as righteous as she would like, she would have in fact begun a journey by which we pray Allah (‘azza wa jall) will pardon her and raise her ranks in this world and the next, fill her home with the happiness of Iman (faith), the scent of birr (righteousness), the fruits of taqwaa (Allah-consciousness), the cleanliness of pure tawheed (the oneness of Allah ‘azza wa jall), and the soft and melodious recitation of the Book of Allah, aameen. And never forget dear sister, truly and without a doubt, Allah is the One who changes and turns over the hearts.

By continuously remembering Allah (‘azza wa jall) and continually keeping in mind His supreme existence, one will find a change in one’s way of thinking... Tests will seem as blessings…the weak Iman will become like a beautiful towering mountain, which is hard to move and shake, and the home will turn into one of the most blessed places after the masaajid of Allah (‘azza wa jall), inshaa' Allah.

Truly, in this is success! For, it is by the remembrance of Allah one’s sins are forgiven and great rewards are saved up. Let’s allow our hearts to seep in and enjoy the promise of Allah [a'zza wa jall], “And the men and women who remember Allah frequently, Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward.”[3]

Dear Sister, how many women claim to love their husbands yet do not work to bring their husbands closer to the doors of Paradise, wherein are joys and delights that are perpetual and never-ending? Instead we see women doing the opposite; asking their husbands to declare war with Allah and His Messenger by taking a mortgage or taking unneeded loans for the sake of mere luxury.

The believing woman is above such things, she wishes to please her Lord and draw close to Him. She wants her home to be filled with blessings and a family that continuously remembers Allah. Just as Allah (‘azza wa jall) has said: “And remember your Lord by your tongue and within yourself, humbly and in awe, without loudness, by words in the morning and in the afternoon, and be not among those who are neglectful.”[4]

Such was the case with Mu’aadhah. Her home was blessed with a righteous husband in him jumping into the thickest of battle, and right into Paradise inshaa’ Allah.   

The News swiftly approaches

The news of the martyrdom of both her husband and son was swiftly approaching towards this 'aabidah (worshipper).

The Muslim women began walking towards her home to offer their condolences. Their minds had probably prepared chosen words to soothe her heart, relieve its pain and help her through this hard time, as they knew that a great test was to befall her.

They probably had imagined that they would meet a woman crying, her world shattered, in a disheveled and worrying state…if only they knew!

As she saw the women enter her home, she looked towards them and said words which reflect her deep love and conviction in her Lord,

"Welcome to you if you have come to congratulate me - but if you have come for other than that then return.”[5]

These words emanated from a soul which believed with sincere conviction in the promise of her Lord.  For, Mu'aadhah’s (rahimahallah) knowledge infused within her Iman (faith), the fruits of which were tawakkul (reliance) and yaqeen (certainty) in the words of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'ala) and His Messenger (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam). For, Allah (‘azza wa jall) has said: “Think not of those who are killed in the Way of Allah as dead. Nay, they are alive, with their Lord, and they have provision.”[6]

She knew that both her husband and son had gone out in the way of Allah (‘azza wa jall) and that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) has given the glad tidings regarding those who have gone out in the way of Allah and have been killed as being martyrs: “One who is slain in the way of Allah is a martyr; one who dies in the way of Allah is a martyr…”[7] By inshaa’ Allah becoming martyrs, her husband and son had in fact accomplished something which the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) ardently desired, as the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) has said: “I would love to be martyred in Allah's Cause and come to life and then get martyred and then come to life and then get martyred and then get resurrected and then get martyred.”[8]

Women without faith, understanding and conviction in their Lord, the Messengership of the Noble Messenger (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) and the hereafter would indeed find the words of Mu'aadhah (rahimahallah) and her ‘abnormal’ reaction to the death of the two most beloved people to her as signs of the dawn of insanity, instability, insecurity and depression. Little do they know…. it was a time to rejoice, for the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said that the martyrs are in paradise, in the hearts of green birds!

The great Companion, ‘Abdullah ibn Abbaas narrates that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: “When your brethren were smitten at the battle of Uhud, Allah put their spirits in the hearts of green birds which go down to the rivers of Paradise, eat its fruit and nestle in lamps of gold in the shade of the Throne. Then when they experienced the sweetness of their food, drink and rest, they asked: ‘Who will tell our brethren about us that we are alive in Paradise provided with provision, in order that they might not be disinterested in jihaad and recoil in war?’ Allah, the Most High, said: ‘I shall tell them about you’; so Allah sent down; "And do not consider those who have been killed in Allah's path..." till the end of the verse.'”[9]

And in a narration of Saheeh Muslim, it has been narrated on the authority of Masruq who said: We asked 'Abdullah about the Qur'anic verse:

"Think not of those who are slain in Allah's way as dead. Nay, they are alive, finding their sustenance in the presence of their Lord...” He said: We asked the meaning of the verse (from the Holy Prophet) who said:

“The souls of the martyrs live in the bodies of green birds that have their nests in chandeliers hung from the throne of the Almighty. They eat the fruits of Paradise from wherever they like and then nestle in these chandeliers. Once their Lord cast a glance at them and said: ‘Do you want anything?’ They said: ‘What more shall we desire? We eat the fruits of Paradise from wherever we like’. Their Lord asked them the same question thrice. When they saw that they will continue to be asked and not left (without answering the question), they said: ‘O Lord, we wish that you may return our souls to our bodies so that we may be slain in your way once again. When He (Allah) saw that they had no need, they were left (to their joy in heaven)’”.[10]

Dear Sister, sincerely answer me, is there anything better than Paradise? For, the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said regarding the people of Paradise, “Whoever enters it enjoys and has no harm, and lives forever and does not die.”[11] Every wife and mother wants the best for her husband and child, as did Mu‘aadhah (rahimahallah), which explains her reaction of happiness at the news of their martyrdom.

We shouldn’t be mistaken into thinking that it was only Mu‘aadhah’s knowledge that inculcated within her this amazing and extraordinary conviction and faith, rather it was also her worship. In truth, she was an 'aabidah (worshipper) who had truly reaped the fruits of her worship. For 'ibaadah (worship) is not just mere movement of the limbs and tongue, rather it is a spiritual training - a refining process for the heart and soul. Her words show the state of her heart. For it is in the time of tests that the good is known from the bad, the person who truly believes in the next life from the one whose belief and conviction is weak; the Prophet (sallallahu a’layhi wa sallam) said: "The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity."[12]

Patience isn’t something that naturally comes to most people, rather one must struggle patiently in order to be patient. The words of the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) will, inshaa’ Allah, clarify what I mean. He said: “Whoever tries to be patient, Allah will give him patience, and no one is given a better or vaster gift than patience."[13] Therefore if a person is patient, then Allah (‘azza wa jall) will make a way out for such a person and ease his hardship, as ‘Umar (radhiallahu `anhu) said:

"Whatever hardship befalls a believing slave, Allah will make an opening for him after it, and a hardship will not overcome two eases. Allah the Exalted says in His Book, ‘O you who trust, be patient, and vie in patience; be steadfast and fear Allah, perhaps you will profit.’”[14]-[15]

Her reaction to the news of the death of the two most beloved people to her serves as a lesson for all the women of the world and is a stark difference to what we see when many women lose their beloved ones. How many times do we witness women wailing, screaming and hitting themselves, as if there is no hereafter, no reward for patience, and this world is the be-all and end-all?!

In fact, Mu’aadhah (rahimahallah) loved them dearly and in fact missed them greatly. She yearned to once again be united with them.

One of the means by which she worked towards this aim was by exerting herself in worship, so much so that even though she was known as the ‘Aabidah of Iraaq’, just like her husband was known for his worship, we see that after the death of the two most beloved people to her, her 'ibaadah took a new turn and a whole new meaning.

For, she was preparing for the meeting with her Lord, the Most High.