The Home (2/2)

House-keeping and home-making are too often regarded, not as contributions open to women, but as drudgery relegated to them. If a woman can really see house-keeping as an art in which she can be interested and through which she can lighten and enrich the lives of her fellows, she can make it a task equal to any other in the world. If, on the other hand, it is thought of as work too mean for a man, need we wonder when women resist their tasks, revolt against them, and set out to prove what should be obvious from the first - that women are the equals of men and no less entitled to consideration and to the opportunity to develop their capacities?

...where the woman's part is undervalued, the whole harmony of married life is destroyed. No woman who considers that to be interested in children is an inferior task can train herself for the skill, care, understanding and sympathy that are so necessary if children are to be given a favourable position in the beginning of their lives...

…if we trace back the cases of failure in life, we almost always discover that the mother did not fulfil her functions properly: she did not give the child a favourable start. If the mothers fail, if they are dissatisfied with their tasks and lack interest in them, the whole of mankind is endangered ..."

Islam has recognized the importance of this role of mother. She is given full appreciation for her efforts and for the troubles she endures and the sacrifices she makes for the sake of her children.

The prophet is reported to have said:

"Paradise lies at the feet of mothers" (Hadith from Nasai and Ibn Majah).

He is also reported to have said:

"I and the woman whose cheeks have grown dark (on account of the cares and anxieties of her children) shall be like this on the Day of Resurrection”, here the Prophet placed together his middle and forefingers (meaning, she would be close to him). (Hadith from Abu Dawud)

On another occasion someone asked the Prophet Messenger of God, who is most deserving of good care from me? The Prophet replied: "Your mother". The man asked: "And who after that?" He repeated: "Your mother". The man asked "And who after that?" The Prophet repeated “Your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives in order of closeness." (Hadith from Bukhari and Muslim)

The role of the father is also important in child upbringing, but that of the mother is seen to entail even greater commitment. It is therefore quite wrong to devalue the role of woman as mother and homemaker. Western society in the twentieth century has become so obsessed with economic activity, paid employment and material gain for both men and women that the role of the homemaker and mother of young children has come to be regarded as nothing - an unfortunate interruption of her glorious career in the office or factory. If a housewife is asked what she does (meaning her occupation) she is likely to reply "Oh, nothing at the moment. I stay at home because of the baby." She has been brainwashed into thinking that this activity has no special value, demands no special skill, and is rated as zero in terms of occupational status and reward. She can hardly wait to "get back to work".

For a Muslim woman the home is the centre of her attention and her husband and children's welfare her first priority after her obligation to Allah.

This does not rule out her taking on a job outside the home, or continuing with her education, or giving voluntary service to the community. It is merely a matter of ensuring that her primary responsibilities of managing the home and children are taken care of, lest the family itself - the basic unit of society - should fall apart and fail to provide the security and example required for the rearing of the next generation.

The Hadith contain words of consolation mothers for all their sufferings in pregnancy, childbirth and child care,

"Sallamah, the nurse of his son Ibrahim, said to the Prophet (Peace be upon him): O Messenger of Allah, you brought tidings of all the good things to men but not to women. He said: ‘Did your women friends put you up to asking me this question?’ She said: Yes, they did. He said: ‘Does it not please anyone of you that if she is pregnant by her husband and he is satisfied with her that she receives the reward of one who fast and prays for the sake of Allah? And when the labour pains, come no one in Heaven or earth knows what is concealed in her womb to soothe her (to cool her eyes). And when she delivers, not a mouthful of milk flows from her and not an instance of the child's suck, but she receives, for every mouthful and every suck, the reward of one good deed. And if she is kept awake by her child at night, she receives the reward of one who frees seventy slaves for the sake of Allah.’" (Narrated by Anas, al- Tabarani)