Marriage (1/3)

There is no celibacy in Islam. Islam considers sexuality to be a natural part of life, which is to be channeled into a healthy marriage life; sinful fulfillment of the sexual urge and exploitation of women through prostitution, pornography and rape are utterly forbidden.

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) advised Muslims: "Whoever is able to marry, should marry, for that will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty". As well as providing a legitimate channel for sexual energy which will keep a person away from sin - marriage provides comfort, security, solace and companionship. Islam not only regards marriage as necessary, but has raised it to the level of being a positive virtue, whereby those who marry will be rewarded for doing so, as for any other good deed. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) as emphasised the importance of marriage when he described it as being half of faith. An important condition of marriage is that this union should be by the consent of both partners; neither male nor female should be forced into a marriage. In particular - as a warning against the oppression of women - Islam clearly states that a marriage contracted without the free consent of the woman is null and void. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: "No widow should be married without consulting her, and no virgin should be married without her consent..."

Prospective marriage partners are encouraged to see one another before they agree to marry. Jabir reported that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said, "When one of you seeks to marry a woman, if he is able to have a look at the one he desires to marry, let him do so".

Above all, marriage in Islam is a contract between two equal parties.

As an equal partner, the Muslim woman may stipulate conditions in the marriage. In contrast to British women, who even now do not have the right to draw up a contract or stipulate conditions, Muslim women were given this right fourteen hundred years ago. The woman may stipulate, prior to marriage, conditions, including the transfer of divorce power to herself, restricting the husband to one wife only, and clearly defining the conditions of maintenance.

Marriage in Islam is much more than a means of satisfying sexual desires; it is a social contract of co habitation through which both partners may find companionship and a refuge from the trials and tribulations of life. In Islam, a woman is not seen as an object for male gratification or a workhorse who is expected to cater to every need and whim of the male. She is a spiritual and moral being who is brought into union with a man on the basis of a solemn pledge which Allah is called upon to witness. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) is reported to have said, "You have seen nothing like marriage for increasing the love of two people".

Today in the West, married women who retain their maiden names are viewed as feminists or unusually self-assertive. Muslim women, however, have always been allowed and expected to keep their maiden names after marriage. This right to maintain their own identity was given to women in Islam when elsewhere in the world women were seen as being barely human and debates raged as to whether they even possessed a soul, let alone be given independence. The Qur'an describes marriage in the most moving and eloquent terms:

“They [wives] are your garments and you [husbands] are their garments....” [Surah al-Baqarah, 2.187]

“And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” [Surah al-Rum, 30:21]

“It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love)…” [Surah al-A'raf, 7.189]

“(He is) the Creator of the heavens and the earth: He has made for you pairs from among yourselves...” [Surah al-Shura, 42:11]

In Islam, there is no notion of woman being responsible for the "Fall" or of being the first sinner and therefore responsible for all of the mankind's woes. There is no idea of man being created out of superior material and woman out of base matter. Woman is made equal, both men and women are the progeny of Adam, so both have similar souls.

 “Mankind! Reverence your Guardian - Lord Who created you from a single Person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women - fear Allah, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights).”  [Surah al-Nisa', 4:1]

(Continued)