Child’s Nature and Parents’ Obligation

Since the composition of the child’s heart is such that it can accept the influences of both the good and the bad, the righteous and the evil, it’s the responsibility of the father and the mother to incline the [heart of the] child either to good or to evil (Imam Ghazali is not giving us a choice in this matter, but instead, urging us to incline the child towards good otherwise the child will automatically get inclined towards evil due to the parents’ negligence). Prophet Muhammad (May peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) says:

“Every child is born on the [true] nature [of God] but his/her parents make him/her either a Christian, Jew, or Magian.”

A Historical Evidence Of The Best Results Of Good Upbringing:

Shaykh Suhail bin Abdullah Tusteri (May Allah Shower His Mercy upon him) says:

“When I was three years old, I used to get up at night to see the [heart-warming] spiritual view of the Tahajjud prayers [done in the last part of the night which is highly recommended in Islam for spiritual advancement on the Path of God] of my maternal uncle Muhammad bin Sawar (May Allah Shower His Mercy upon him). Once he said to me:

‘Do you not engage in the remembrance of Allah, the Exalted, Who created you?’

I asked: ‘How should I remember Allah?’

He said: ‘At night, when you change your sides [on bed before sleeping], recite the following only in your heart, three times without moving your tongue:

 ‘Allah is with me, Allah is watching me, Allah is in front of me.’

I did that for a few nights, and then I informed him about it to which he said:

‘Now on every night, do the same thing seven times.’

I did that and informed him about that to which he said:

‘Now do this eleven times.’

I did the same and as a result of that, I started to feel its taste and sweetness in my heart.

Then when one year passed by acting on this [every night], he said:

‘The remembrance that I have taught you, you should remember it well, and keep acting on that until you die. This will be a source of benefit to you in this world and in the next.’

I kept doing it for a couple of years, until I started to feel its taste (deep impact) in the deepest recesses of my innermost being. Then one day, he said:

‘O Suhail! Allah, when He is with someone, whom He watches [every single moment], whom He is in front of, could that person ever disobey Allah, the Exalted? Beware! Never [ever] transgress against Allah and disobey Him!’

Therefore, I started to live in seclusion. Then he tried to send me to a school but I said:

‘I feel the danger that my attention [towards Allah] will get divided. But it will be better, if you could get this commitment from the teacher that I will study with him for a while then I will quickly return to indulge in Allah’s remembrance.’

Then afterwards, I went to the teacher and by the time I was six or seven years old, I memorized the entire Quran by heart. I always fasted and until I was twelve, the barley bread was my primary food (diet).

During this time, when I was thirteen, I had this need to learn (find out) about a particular religious matter, and then I requested my family to allow me to go to Busra [in Iraq] so that I can ask the scholars there about this matter.

Therefore, I came to Busra and asked scholars there about this matter but none of them satisfied me.

Afterwards, I went to ‘Abadan [in Iran] to be in the presence of Shaykh Habeeb Humza bin ‘Abdullah ‘Abadani (May Allah Shower His Mercy upon him) and asked him about the same religious matter to which he gave me a satisfactory response. Then I continued to stay in his presence for a long time to gain spiritual benefits (Fayd) from his [book] ‘Mulfoozat al-Qudsiya’ and continued to learn manners from him.

Then I returned to [my hometown of] Tuster and apportioned my diet so that one Dirham’s (an old currency) worth of barley used to be grounded for me and bread used to be prepared for me from it. Every night, at the time of Suhoor (Late night meal before starting the fast), I used to eat one Aoqia (an old unit of measure equivalent to one ounce today) from the bread without using any curry with it. Therefore, one Dirham [which is a very small amount] used to be sufficient for me for [the food for] the whole year.

I made progress [in this matter] to such an extent that I used to break my fasts after three nights (in other words, he used to fast continuously for three days and nights), then after five nights, then after seven nights, then I gradually reached up to twenty-five nights.

I continued in this way for twenty years continuously. Then I toured the world for many years and returned to Tuster. I used to worship and pray almost all night.

Imam Ahmad (May Allah Shower His Mercy upon him) says:

“I never received any evidence that he (i.e. Shaykh Suhail Tusteri [May Allah Shower His Mercy upon him]) ever used curry [with his bread when he ate].”

[Imam Ghazali (May Allah Shower His Mercy upon him) did not mention this tradition so that we also raise our children like this in terms of the intense spiritual exercises and extraordinary feats of physical endurance that Shaykh Suhail (May Allah Shower His Mercy upon him) performed from his early childhood. Imam Ghazali’s purpose in mentioning this is to drive home the point that if proper arrangements are made by parents for the child’s proper upbringing, then the child can reach the pinnacle of human potential, otherwise, such intense spiritual and physical exercise is not necessary for all Muslims].