Children As A Test From Allah

One of the most fundamental   concepts   for a parent to understand is that children are a test and that through this test they will be held accountable on the Day of Judgment. Once this is realized, there should be a profound change in how they relate to and deal with their children.  Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says, “And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward.” (Qur'an, Surah Al-Anfal, 8: 28)

He also indicates, “Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward.”  (Qur'an, Surah At-Taghabun, 64: 15)

The Arabic word that is used in these verses is ‘Fitnah’,[1] which is translated as 'trial' or 'test'.  The world is full of trials since part of Allah's    plan   is to test   His   slaves   with   various    tribulations    and blessings.   Children and families are part of this test.  Allah does this so that the believer will be distinguished   from the disbeliever   and the truthful   and sincere   from the liars and hypocrites.

Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) mentions, “Do the  people  think  that  they  will  be  left  to  say:  We  believe,   and they will not be tried?  But We have  certainly  tried those  before  them, and  Allah  will  surely  make  evident   those  who  are  truthful,   and  He will  surely  make  evident   the  liars.”  (Qur'an, Surah Al-Ankabut, 29: 2-3)

Allah   tests   humans    with   both   calamities    and   blessings    to determine who will be patient and thankful and who will be impatient and ungrateful.   He also wants to determine who will be His obedient servants and who will be disobedient and defiant.  He will then reward or punish accordingly on the Day of Judgment.

The calamities with which Allah tests His slaves are many.  He tests them with fear, hunger, and loss of wealth, lives and homes.  He tests them with the inability   to have children, among other things. Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He)    declares, “And We will surely  test you  with  something   of fear and hunger  and , a  loss  of  wealth  and  lives  and  fruits,  but  give  good  tidings   to  the patient, who, when disaster strikes them, say: Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are [rightly] guided.” (Qur'an, Surah Al-Baqarah, 2: 155-157)

Out of Allah's (Glorified and Exalted be He) mercy to His servants, He sends tribulations and tests so that they may return and repent to Him, giving up that which Allah has forbidden, and so that Allah might forgive them. It is part of Allah's mercy that tests occur in this life so that our souls might be purified and come back to Allah before we die. Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says, “And we will surely let them taste the nearer punishment short of the greater punishment that perhaps they will return (repent).” (Qur'an, Surah Al-Sajdah, 32: 21)

Allah may also test His slaves in order to raise them in status and to allow them to expiate for their sins, as the Prophet (Peace be upon him)   said: “No misfortune or disease befalls a Muslim, no worry or grief or harm or distress -   not even a thorn that pricks him - but Allah will wipe out some of his sins because of that.”[2]

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) also said: “A Muslim male or female is tried in person and children and property until he or she faces Allah (on the Day of Judgment) in such a state that all of his or her sins have been forgiven. [3]"

What most people often forget is that blessings may also be a test or tribulation from Allah. Wealth and children, for example, are a trial and a trust by which Allah tests His servants to know who will give thanks for them and who will be distracted from Allah by them. The ease with which people become absorbed in their wealth, possessions and children demonstrates the nature of this test. These are facets of life that may   distract   people   from   the worship   and remembrance of Allah.

The  test is not only  to show  who  will be grateful  and  who  will be  ungrateful,   but  also  to  determine    how   parents   will  raise   their children.  Will they treat them with kindness, love and respect?  Will they raise them in Islam with all of the knowledge   and blessings that it contains?   Will they prepare them for the hereafter   and for paradise? Or will they  raise  them  with  another  system  of beliefs  and  practices (such as other religions  or secularism)   that are contrary  to Islam?  Will they send them to the hellfire, along with themselves?   This  is the true nature  of  the  test,  as  it  is  with  all  tests  that  Allah  gives  to  us.

Unfortunately,   in this day  and age, too many  people  fail in this test  that  Allah  has  given  them,  or  they  attempt   to avoid  the  test  as much  as possible.   They  may  put  their  children   in day-care   for 40 or more  hours  a week  or hire a live-in  maid  to take  care  of the physical and  emotional   needs  of  their  children.   Other aspects   may be given precedence over the children,   such as career, money, hobbies, or friendships.  They may spend time and effort on other projects, but the children are often not given their due consideration. In today's   world, many  children  have  not received  the time  and attention  that is due to them  from  their  parents   and  society   suffers   as  a result  of  this.

What  parents  fail to realize  is that by neglecting   their  children and  failing  in this  test  from  Allah,  they  may  have  missed   a golden opportunity   for eternal  and spiritual  rewards.  The opportunity   is right before their eyes, but they simply fail to take advantage   of it. The job does require a lot of effort and hard work, but it is also one of the most rewarding tests that Allah could give His servants.  Parenting is, above all else, a test of patience, selflessness, and sacrifice.  Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says, “Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while Allah has not yet made evident those of you who fight in His cause and made evident those who are steadfast” (Qur'an, Surah Al-‘Imran, 3: 142)

As a person excels in the test, these qualities become solidified and engrained. These are the qualities of Iman that parents strive to nurture not only in their children, but also in themselves. It is amazing that  in  the  process  of  nurturing  believing  children,  parents  also 'nurture'  themselves. The increase in Iman that is experienced through  parenting  will bring one closer  to Allah and closer to an understanding of His infinite wisdom and mercy. What better opportunity to experience a taste of paradise in this life?