A wife's fabrication to problems

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Dear valued sister, As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).

In the beginning, we would like to welcome you to Alukah Website and we ask Allah (Glory be to Him) to guide us to provide what is beneficial to you and to all Muslims.

I would like to praise your sympathy with your sister and her son, your interest in their feelings, and your concern about their affairs which reflects your keenness and desire to see them happy. Therefore, I would like to invest this to help them find the best solutions away from emotions in order to overcome their problems.

My dear sister, divorce is not the perfect solution for this problem despite the problems and behavior of the wife which you explained because you have explained that the wife is still a college student which indicates her young age and she is not ready yet to bear the responsibility of marriage. Therefore, it is not right to take a decision that would break down the family and in the meantime you should pardon her ignorance and lack of experience in thinking and behavior.

You should do your best to provide advices for her in all marital details and how to treat her husband and his family, her new responsibilities, and so on.

It is correct that this role should be the responsibility of her mother and her family, but their negligence does not prevent you from being keen to strengthen the relationship of your nephew on a correct basis. Therefore, I wish that you play that role, be her mother and her teacher and that will be beneficial to her as well as her husband.

However, if she does not respond to these advices and guidelines, the husband will have the right to treat her harshly according to her actions without exaggeration or delay. Moreover, the punishment should play an effective role in herself to be deterrent to her to do these things again. You may begin your advice with praising her or tell the husband to meet some of her financial needs when she responds to advices or when she does something good to promote this behavior until they turn into habits. The husband will also learn wisdom and balance in dealing with his wife because he also is new in marriage.

You may also give her some books which are easy in style and deal with topics like successful relationship between spouses, or other issues that are useful in improving their marital and social life in general, in addition to give her some tapes which incite people to be good with their husbands and their families and speaking about the virtue of a wife's fulfillment of these duties in this world and in the Hereafter to incite herself to fulfill these duties willingly.

It should be noted that the books or the tapes should be easy, written in good style, interesting, and away from complexity.

Finally, I invoke Allah to reform the conditions of that wife, make you a cause for reconciliation, and open the gates of goodness for you. We shall be happy to hear from you again.