Male - Female Relations

Islam provides a code of manners for male-female interaction outside the home. It is impossible not to interact with the opposite sex in daily life such as in the workplace, school or shopping centers.  Some very conservative Muslims have this silly and misguided notion that men and women are forbidden to have any interaction unless they're married. Reading the Qur'an and Hadith, however, we get a different picture.  The early Muslims, until recent times, had a relatively egalitarian attitude towards male-female relations. Muslims have only freaked out in the last two hundred years with isolationism and ultra-conservatism becoming rampant.  Today's arch conservatives would have you believe that a woman's place is in the kitchen and nothing more, but this is not what you will find when you read about Muslim society in former times. Men and women can interact in legitimate settings such as in a business, market, school or social gathering provided they follow certain points of etiquette.

A. Women and men must be wearing clothes that fulfill Islamic requirements of decency. Men must be covered from the knees to the navel, and normal daily wear consists of some type of robe, or pant/shirt combo.  A turban or some other form of a headgear is strongly recommended.  Muslim men are required to have some sort of a beard (if they can grow one). Many secular minded Muslims do not wear a beard due to the influence of certain dominant cultures in the world which look down upon beards.

Women must be covered from their ankles to their necks and down to their wrists in loose fitting clothes. In addition, a head covering must be wrapped over the hair. This is called the Hijab, or scarf. (Khimar is a related term.)  Face veils, gloves and socks are not required, even though some very conservative Muslims hold that it makes a woman more purified and sincere.  (It is more a cultural trend than an authentic religiously sanctioned position.)

B. An unmarried man and woman should never be alone together in a room. No person should ever be alone with someone of the opposite sex unless they are married to that person.

C. Men and women are not to talk to each other in a soft or intimate-sounding voice unless they are married to each other. Women are to address men in a firm and even tone so that the men don't get any false ideas.

D. When meeting and greeting: Men shake hands and hug only other men. Women shake hands and hug only other women. (Unless they are married to each other, of course.)

E. Men and women who are not married to each other never touch.

F. If two people are interested in getting married, the woman should arrange for a male relative to act on her behalf as her representative. That way she doesn't have to feel pressured or undignified.  If a woman doesn't have any reliable male relatives to represent her interests, she may choose another Muslim male, usually an Imam or other trusted person to act on her behalf.