Family Disputes and its Resolution

In order to maintain the bond of marriage intact, Islam emphasises greatly on the reconciliation of husband and wife if there is a dispute between them. In such cases, formation of a reconciliatory committee is suggested. The committee should comprise two representatives: one from the husband’s side and the other from the wife’s side. Such a measure saves many families from disintegration. If reconciliation becomes impossible then the spouses can separate from each other. In such cases, the imposition of family bond on such a couple is not recommended at the cost of anyone of the spouses. In case of separation, a method has been proposed, leaving room for reunification of the couple. After two pronouncements of man divorcing his wife, they can reunite on their own. After the third pronouncement they can reunite only if the woman marries another man and that man divorces her or dies. If a person violates the proposed method of divorce then certain punishment can be awarded to the violator.

After separation, arises the most important issue of future of the children. Upbringing of children by the parents is very important. The teachings on the subject as enumerated in the Qur’an: The divorced woman is required to breast feed her infants for two years if father of the children wishes so. During this period man is required to pay for living expenses to his ex-wife according to his financial status, requirements of the woman and customs of the locality. There has to be consensus between the parties on the arrangement of living expenses. None of the parties is expected to exploit the vulnerabilities of the other due to children. If father of the children is dead then responsibilities will be performed by his successors. Both parties after agreement can decide about weaning of the child. After paying to mother, the child can be breast-fed by another woman as well.

Another important issue after separation is the second marriage by any of the ex-spouses. The holy Qur’an clearly instructs that nobody should hinder the marriage of the ex-spouse. Whenever this instruction has been ignored (especially in Indo-Pakistan), it has led to emergence of other social and ethical evils. Some families consider second marriage as an insult and try to prevent women from doing so. In such situations, woman starts unlawful, secret sequel contacts. As doors of remarriage are closed for woman, she has no choice but to elope. It thus results in stigma and humiliation of her family. In some cases it even generates enmity and inflicts heavy financial and human losses. 

The method of separation is not simple, rather the most complicated one. Divorce should not be taken lightly. If somebody wishes to pronounce divorce, he should think a hundred times about the far-reaching consequences of such a decision. The provision talaq (divorce) with nikah is not a part of the original scheme (a man and woman live together for the whole life) but it is the unavoidable treatment of an unwanted situation which does occur in social life. Separation of husband and wife is the most undesired among lawful things before God. 

(With Slight Changes)