How to Protect our Families from the Fire (2/6)

A man should be forgiving and should entertain their questions and objections to what he says with a smiling face. They should try to give them the information in the correct manner.

Ibn  Abu  Mulaykah, may  Allah  have  mercy  on  him,  reported that  whenever ‘Aa’ishah, may  Allah  be  pleased   with   her, would hear  about something she would ask about it in order  to understand  it   correctly,  and   that  the   Prophet,  sallAllahu ‘alayhi  wa  sallam,  said:   “Whoever  is thoroughly examined regarding their accounting will be punished.” ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah  be  pleased  with  her,  said:  “Did not Allah  the Exalted Say (what  means): "He will be judged with an easy account" [Qur’an, Surah Al-Inshiqaq, 84:8]” He, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,  said: “That is when  the   actions  are   presented.  However, whoever is thoroughly examined with regards to their accounting will be destroyed.[1]”

Thus, there are some people who will be accounted in an easy manner. They will not be asked about every minor and major sin that they did. Their accounting will end very swiftly and they will proceed to Paradise. As for those  who are  examined about their  actions, and  are  asked  about all major  and  minor sins that they  did, they  will be destroyed and punished. We ask Allah the Exalted for safety and protection.

Here   we  have   ‘Aa’ishah,  may  Allah  be  pleased   with   her, despite being  a woman, asking  her husband, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa  sallam, regarding  issues  that were  confusing to  her.  The Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to answer her questions. Our women   should   follow   in   the   footsteps  of ‘Aa’ishah, may  Allah  be  pleased  with  her, by asking  about matters pertaining to their  religion, and  our men  should  follow in the  footsteps of the  Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, by teaching their women.

Actually, ignorance that overtakes a wife, daughter, and sister due to the negligence of the man might actually affect them even in their grave.   ‘Abdullaah  ibn  ‘Umar,  may  Allah  be pleased   with  him,  reported that when  ‘Umar, may  Allah  be pleased   with  him,  was  killed, Hafsah, may  Allah  be  pleased with her,  cried  for him. At that, he, may Allah be pleased with him,   said:   “Stop, O young   woman! Do  you  not  know  that Allah’s  Messenger,  sallAllahu ‘alayhi  wa  sallam, said:  ‘The dead person would be punished due to  their  family crying over them.[2]’

Scholars have various  ways of interpreting this Hadeeth, and of the  strongest views is that they  are  punished in their  graves  if they  knew  that it  was the  practice of their  family  to  wail but neglected teaching them  regarding the  prohibition of  wailing and  did  not prevent them from  doing  so before  they  died. If that is so, they  would be punished in their graves  due  to their wailing  over  them, and  this is  a  good interpretation  of  the Hadeeth,  and  it  reconciles between  it  and  when  Allah  the Exalted Said (what  means): "No bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another." [Qur’an, Surah Al-An’am, 6:164]

A man must ask about the issues that their family needs to know but they do not know.  We are very pleased when we hear of  men  going  to  people of  knowledge  and  asking   questions pertinent to  their   women, such  as  matters of  purity   dealing with  natural  blood, rulings   of  her  relatives, whom  she  must cover in front  of, and whom she does not need  to cover in front of.

Whenever  a  man   does   this,  it   shows   that  they   are   keen regarding their  family, and  are  keen  on  implementing  when Allah   the   Exalted  Said   (what   means): "O  you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones. " [Qur’an, Surah At-Tahrim, 66:6]  So, they are certain of the responsibility and feel it, which is why they ask regarding rulings for their wives.

At the end of this section, it is appropriate to give advice that the following matters be taught to the family:

As for the Qur’an,  they should  be made  to memorize  whatever they need in order  for their prayers to be sound and can be used to be implemented during  their  lives, such  as Juz’ ‘Amma  and Tabaarak, Soorat  Al-Kahf, An-Noor, and Al-Hujuraat, while also knowing the explanation of what they memorize.

A student of knowledge asked a teacher before traveling, saying: “My teacher, what do you advise me to do?” He said: “I advise you to stay connected with the Book of Allah the Exalted through recitation, reflection, memorization, and knowing its explanation.” This is one of the most comprehensive advice that we should raise our families upon.

We must establish a close connection with the Book of Allah the Exalted, and we should be keen   regarding bringing the Qur’an and the Sunnah of our Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, alive in our lives. Allah the Exalted Said (what means):

"And remember what is recited in your houses of the verses of Allah and wisdom." [Qur’an, Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:34]

Wisdom here means the Sunnah.

In   the   field   of   Hadeeth,  then   the   book   Al-Arba’een  An- Nawawiyyah  should  be  explained to  them, and  they  should  be urged  to  memorize  it.  In  ‘Aqeedah, we should  teach them  an easy   book,  such   as   200   Questions   and   Answers   regarding ‘Aqeedah by  Haafith Al-Hakami,   may  Allah  have  mercy  on him.

In jurisprudence, we should teach them the characteristics of ablution and   prayer of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, as well as matters pertaining to women, such as Hijaab, adornments, and issues pertaining to menstruation.

One should not neglect teaching the biography of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, especially to young kids. Admonishment and reminders should have a specific focus in our lessons. The  lessons   should   not  be  turned  into simply imparting information wherein  the  opinions  of various  scholars are  mentioned, but one forgets to mention the Lord the  Giver. Many  people   are  driven   away  by  their  dull  knowledge from finding  mistakes and  illnesses  in  their  hearts. Hearts become rusty, and its rust is removed through remembrance of Allah the Exalted.

It is important that when teaching our children, the effort should be consistent and not inconsistent. The  class  should have  an appointed time  that is weekly,  and  the entire family is instructed  to  attend and  no  one  may  be  absent. This class should be a regular occurrence in our homes for the lifetime.

Enjoining them to perform obligations and supervising them:

The head of the household should be diligent with regards to the obligations and following up with their spouse and children. They should   also be watchful over them   to see if they are performing the obligations, especially prayer. They should urge them to establish the prayer with its pillars, conditions, obligations, and voluntary actions at their appointed times, especially Fajr prayer.

Shaykh  ‘Abd  Al-‘Azeez  ibn  Baaz, may  Allah  have  mercy  on him,  was  asked: “If a person  has  a class  in the  mosque  after Fajr,   and   they   go  out  to   the   prayer   while  their   family   is sleeping, must they go back  and wake their family,  even if they miss  some  parts of the  class, or if they  miss  the  entire class? Or, should he sit in the class?” He said:  “He must go back, because ordering his   family   to   pray   is   obligatory,   while attending the class is voluntary. They should not give precedence to a voluntary action over an obligatory one; he must go home and wake his family.”

The unfortunate reality is that people do not take proper care regarding the prayers of our families and children and there is a great deal of negligence.  Do you know, O guardian who is responsible, how to teach your child to pray? Our children learn how to pray from each other. They all look at one another and imitate each other. Besides, children are not taught the importance of concentration in the prayer and implementation of the voluntary actions therein. We should ask why they do not learn from their fathers and guardians.