The Day of Resurrection and the Hereafter (3/4)

Death

The death of a loved one or family friend would be an appropriate occasion to discuss the issues of death and the afterlife with a child. The discussion should be candid, but should also fit the developmental stage of the child. Regardless of the age, children can be told that everyone, including themselves, will die at some time.

Children should understand, however, that their loved one is not gone, but has only passed on to the next phase of existence. Death is only a stage that he/she has passed through, as we all will one day. He/she will be raised again on the Day of Resurrection with his or her family and all other humans. Rather than grieving and being sad for this person, there should be an element of joy that they have gone on to meet their Lord. Older children may be provided information regarding the barrier or interval before the Day of Resurrection, and life in the grave. They may also be taken to graves as a further reminder of the reality.

Death is not a negative thing from the perspective of Islam and it should not be portrayed as such. Children should not develop worry or fear of death. Rather, they should be encouraged to discuss the issue and think about it often. The Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) actually encouraged the believers to do this. He said: “Remember often the destroyer of pleasure, death, for no one remembers death in times of hardship but that it makes him feel better, and no one remembers death in times of ease but that it restrains him.” [1]

Sleep itself is a form of ‘lesser death’. Waking from sleep is a type of resurrection. Children can be reminded of this fact. Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) says:

“And it is He who takes your souls by night and knows what you have committed by day. Then He revives you therein [by day] that a specified term may be fulfilled. Then to Him will be your return; then He will inform you about what you used to do.” (Qur’an, Surah Al-An’am, 6: 60)

“Allah takes the souls at the time of their death, and those that do not die [He takes] during their sleep. Then He keeps those for which He has decreed death and releases the others for a specified term. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Qur’an, Surah Az-Zumar, 39: 42)

During sleep, Allah takes the souls. If He wishes, He may keep the soul; and if He wills that the person should remain alive, He returns the soul. The supplications made upon rising from sleep and before going to sleep mention this fact. Upon awakening, children should recite the following supplication: “All praise is for Allah Who gave us life after having taken it from us, and unto Him is the resurrection. [Alhamdulillah alladhee ahyaana ba‘da ma amaatana wa ilayhin-nushoor.]"[2] The following supplication should be said before going to sleep: “In Your name my Lord, I lie down and in Your name I rise, so if You should take my soul then have mercy upon it, and if You should return my soul then protect as You protect Your righteous servants. [Bismika Rabbee wada’tu janbee, bika arfa'uhu, fa in amsakta nafsee farhamha, wa in arsaltaha fahfadh-ha bi ma tahfudhu bihi ‘ibadak as-saliheen.]”[3] Children should understand the meaning of these supplications and their relationship to death and resurrection.

It is the habit of righteous people to remind themselves and others about death. This assists the believer in remaining constantly prepared for his or her own death, since the exact moment is unknown. To be prepared means to have correct belief, to be consistent and persistent in performance of religious obligations, and to hasten in the performance of righteous deeds. In essence, remembrance of death leads a person to strive to reform and purify himself or herself. This is one of the main purposes of the message of Islam.

Responsibility and accountability

One of the key aspects of parenting is to teach children that they are responsible for their actions and that one day they will be brought to account before Allah. Allah, the Exalted, the Almighty, mentions this fact in the Qur’an:

“Every soul, for what it has earned, will be held retained [subject or held responsible.” (Qur’an, Surah Al-Muddaththir, 74: 38)

The individual will stand alone on that day.

“And all of them are coming to Him on the Day of Resurrection alone.” (Qur’an, Surah Maryam, 19: 95)

There will be no one to speak on his or her behalf or to defend him or her, not even close family members or friends.

“On the Day a man will flee from his brother, and his mother and his father, and his wife and his children; for every person, that Day, will  be a matter adequate [to occupy] him for him. He will be concerned only with himself, thus forgetting all others.” (Qur’an, Surah ‘Abasa, 80: 34-37)

The only evidence to allow entrance into paradise will be belief in Allah and His Messenger and good deeds.

This understanding will prove invaluable for discipline and behaviour management of a child. Self-control is something that must come from within and this is exactly the outcome of belief in the Day of Resurrection and the hereafter. It must be imprinted on the minds of children that Allah will weigh the deeds of a person and reward those whose deeds are heavy; those whose deeds are light will not be successful. Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) says,

“And the weighing [of deeds] that Day will be the truth. So those, whose scales are heavy — it is they who will be successful. And those, whose scales are light — they are the ones who will lose themselves for what injustice they were doing toward Our signs and verses.” (Qur’an, Surah Al-A’raf, 7: 8-9)

(Continued)