Afflicting a Muslim with the Tongue (5/5)

The prohibition of proposing to a woman who is already engaged:

The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: "No one should propose (to marry a woman) if his brother already proposed." [Reported by An-Nasaaii]

He (Peace be upon him) also said: "The believer is the brother of a believer, so it is not allowed to undercut his brother in business and he does not propose (to the same woman) to whom his brother has already proposed, until the proposal of his brother is canceled." [Reported by Muslim]

Indulging in defaming a Muslim:

The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: "Ribaa (interest) is divided into seventy two categories, the least is (as evil as) the like of a man who comes (fornicating) with his mother; and the worst form of ribaa is (the like) of a man who deliberates in the honor of his brother." [Reported by At-Tabaraanee]

The two faced person:

The two-faced person is someone who moves frequently between two persons, who are enemies of one another, and speaks to each one of them with words of praise for each one of them, and speak against the other's enemy.

This is also manifested by a person who praises another on one occasion (like in his presence), and on another, debases him. This is one of the signs of hypocrisy.

It was said to Ibn `Umar, may Allah be pleased with both of them, that when we are amongst our leaders, we speak highly of them. However, when we leave them, we would say otherwise (i.e. speak badly of them). Ibn 'Umar said (of that attitude): "We (the Sahabas) used to regard that attitude as hypocrisy during the time of the Prophet (Peace be upon him)." [Reported by Ibn Abi Duniya Kitaabl Gheeba wan-Nameemah]

Transferring the speech of each person to the other is also described as two-tongued. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: "The most evil of people is the two faced person who come to these with one face and goes to those with another." [Reported by Abu Dawood]

He (Peace be upon him) also said: "Who is two faced in this world will have two tongues of fire on the Day of Judgment." [Reported by Abu Dawood]

However, if someone enters upon both of them, and agrees with what is truthful from each side without trying to find favor with either one, but his desire is to be just and to try to settle their differences, then this is not two-faced nor hypocritical. On the contrary, this is a noble act.

Mockery, sarcasm and debasing Muslims:

It is evil enough for a Muslim to misuse his tongue, by indulging in mockery, sarcasm, debasing Muslims, scoffing etc. Mockery is to highlight someone's weaknesses and faults, in such a way that it is laughed at. This could either be by statement, or action. These and other related characteristics, like irony, taunting, scoffing, etc. are all prohibited in Islam.

Allah, the Glorious said:

"O you who believe! Let not a group mock at another group, it may be that the latter is better than the former, nor let some women mock at other women, it maybe that the latter are better than the former…" [Surah Al-Hujuraat 43:11]

This is because, in most cases, it is used to debase the person that is mocked at. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: "... it is only evil that causes a man to debase his Muslim brother..." [Reported by Muslim]

Disclosing and Spreading of Secrets:

Secrets are meant to be kept. We are forbidden from disclosing and spreading the secrets of people. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: "If someone confided something (to another person), then it is a trust.” [Reported by Abu Dawood, Ahmad and others]

So, spreading of secrets would thereafter be faithlessness, or betrayal of a trust. If there is harm resulting from this, then this is Haraam. If there is no harm, then it is blameworthy because Allah, the Most High said:

"Fulfill your trusts..." [Surah Al-Israa 17:34]

Breaking a trust is a sign of Hypocrisy. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: "The signs of hypocrisy are four... (from among them is) if he is entrusted he breaks it..." [Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]

It is Prohibited to Remind Others of One's Generosity:

Allah, the Sublime said:

"O you who believer do not render vain your charity (sadaqah) by reminders of your generosity or by injury..." [Surah Al-Baqarah 2:264]

Allah, the Almighty, also said:

"Those who spend their wealth in the Cause of Allah, and do not follow up their gifts with reminders of their generosity or with injury, their reward is with their lord..." [Surah Al-Baqarah 2:262]

Abu Dhar said that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said:

"Allah will not speak to three (groups) of people on the Day of Judgment, nor look at them, nor purify them, and they will have a severe torment." He (Abu Dhar) said: The Messenger of Allah said this thrice. Abu Dhar said: "They have failed and are losers, who are they, O Messenger of Allah?" He (Peace be upon him) said: "Al-Musbil (one who wears his lower garment below his ankles), the one who reminds (the person he gave to) of his generosity…" [Reported by Muslim]

The proper attitude is described by Allah, the Wise:

"Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury..." [Surah Al-Baqarah 2: 263]