Filial gratitude to one's parents

Dear valued Muslim, if you want to succeed in this world and in the Hereafter, stick to the following advices:

1- Address your parents politely: "Say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor." [Surat Al Isra': 23].

2- Always obey your parents in things that do not lead to a sin, for there is no obedience to someone in something that may incur the Creator's disobedience.

3- Show smiley face to your parents and do not stare at them in anger.

4- Protect the reputation, honor, and money of your parents and do not take something without their permission.

5- Do pleasant things for them even without taking their opinion such as serving them and buying their basic needs.

6- Consult them in your affairs and apologize for disagreeing their opinion.

7- Respond to their call quickly with a smiley face saying: O father or mother, here I am at your service.

8- Honor their friends and relatives, and do not befriend their enemy during their life or after their death.

9- Do not argue with them. Do not show their mistakes and try courteously to show them the correct things.

10- Do not oppose them or raise your voice to theirs. Listen politely to their speech, and do not bother one of your brothers or sisters out of respect to your parents.

11- Help your mother at home and do not lag to help your father in his work.

12- Do not travel if they do not allow you even if it is for an important matter, but if the matter is necessary, you may offer excuses and apology to them.

13- Do not enter at them without their permission, especially in bed time.

14- If they have a guest, serve them and observe their looks to see if they want something else.

15- Do not eat before them and advance them in food, drink, and clothes.

16- Do not lie to them or blame them for their actions even if you do not like them.

17- Do not prefer your wife and children to your parents, and seek their pleasure before anything because their pleasure comes in the second rank after the pleasure of Allah.

18- Do not sit in a place higher than theirs and do not walk before them.

19- Do not show haughtiness in ascribing yourself to your father even if you are a senior employee and your father is a junior employee, and beware not to deny their good actions or harm them even with a single word.

20- Do not show miserliness to your parents lest you may see it in your children, for rewards depend on the kind of deed.

21- Pay frequent visits to your parents, offer them gifts, and thank them for rearing you.

22- The most entitled of your honor is your mother then your father, and let it be known that Paradise is below the feet of mothers [i.e., serving her is the way to paradise].

23- Beware of filial disobedience otherwise you will be wretched in this world and in the Hereafter, and your children shall deal with you with the same.

24- When you ask for something from your parents, be kind to them, thank them if they give you, and accept their apology if they refuse; and do not ask too much so as not to bother them.

25- If you become able to earn your penny, work and help your parents, for you and your wealth belong to your father.

26- There is a due right to your parents on you, a right for your wife, children, and brethren, so give each one his or her due right, and try to fulfill these rights moderately. Offer them gifts secretly and publically, for gifts remove enmity.

27- If your parents quarrel with your wife, be wise and explain to your wife that she has all rights but you are obliged to satisfy your parents.

28- If you differ with your parents regarding marriage and divorce, resort to the Shari`ah, for it is the best solution for you.

29- Invocations of the parents are answered, so be keen to make them invoke Allah for you with goodness, and beware of invoking Allah against you.

30- Behave yourself when dealing with the people, for the one who insults people shall gain their insults. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "One of the major sins is to curse one's parents. When someone curses the parents of another man who in return abuses the former's father; and when someone abuses the mother of another man who in return abuses his mother.'' [Reported insult by Al Bukhari and Muslim].

31- Pay visits to your parents during their life and after their death, pay charity in their behalf, and invoke Allah frequently for them saying: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small." [Surat Al Isra': 24].[1]