How to Protect our Families from the Fire (6/6)

• ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased  with him, reprimanded wailing and struck the wailing  woman: Al-Bukhari, may Allah have mercy  on him, reported without a chain  that ‘Umar expelled  the sister of Abu Bakr,   may  Allah  be  pleased   with  him,   when  she wailed.[1]  Ibn  Hajar,  may  Allah  have  mercy  on  him, said:  “Ibn Sa’d narrated it with  a complete chain  of narration in At-Tabaqaat, with  an authentic chain  of narration,  from  Sa’eed  ibn  Al-Musayyib  who  said:

 “When Abu Bakr died, one of his relatives was wailing over him.  When ‘Umar heard of that, he prohibited them from doing so, but they did not listen. He said to Hishaam ibn Al-Waleed: ‘Let us go to the home of Abu Quhaafah – meaning, that woman.’ Then, he began striking the home with a stick or whip, and the wailing women left after hearing of that.”[2] In another narration: “He expelled them, one woman at a time, while striking them with a stick or whip.”[3]

• Ibn  Mas’ood, may  Allah  be  pleased with  him,  and his    freeing   himself    from  reprehensible   actions: Look  and   reflect  on  the   story  of  ‘Abdullah  ibn Mas’ood, may  Allah  be  pleased with  him,  when  he said:  “May Allah  curse  the tattooed women, those women  that tattoo other women, women  who pluck their eyebrows, and women who create gaps in their teeth to beautify themselves, because they  are changing the creation of Allah.” One of the  women from  Banu  Asad called  Umm Ya'qoob heard  this  and came  up  to  him  and  said:  “I see  your  family  doing something of the  sort.” He said:  “Go and see if they do that.” She went and saw but did not see what she wanted to see.  Ibn  Mas’ood, may  Allah  be  pleased with  him,  said:  “Had it  been  thus, I  would  not be with her under one household.”[4] The meaning is that he would not be in one home with her, would not be her companion, would not be with her, and would not allow her to remain in his house.

• Abu Moosa,  may Allah be pleased  with  him,  and  his warning  his family  against some  prohibited matters: Abu Burdah reported that Abu Moosa,  may Allah be pleased  with him, experienced some pain that caused him to become  unconscious while his head  was in the lap  of  one  of  his  female   relatives.  She   began   to scream, but he was unable to say anything to her. When  he  woke  up, he  said:  “I am  free  from  what Allah’s  Messenger, sallAllahu  ‘alayhi  wa  sallam, freed himself from. Allah’s Messenger, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa  sallam, freed   himself   from  women  that raise   their voices   and   scream  during    calamities, women that shave and cut their hair during calamities, and  women  that tear their clothes during calamities.”[5]  Here,  we  have  Abu  Moosa  Al-Ash’ari, may  Allah  have  mercy   on  him,  rebuking  his  wife while  on  the  deathbed. Should not  those  who  are enjoying  sound  health take  that as a lesson  and  call their  family  to  goodness  while  rebuking  them   for reprehensible matters?

Sixth: Watching over women who work:

When  women  leave  their  homes  for  work, many  times  it  leads to  corruption. Women  working   is  one  of  the  great doors  to spreading evil  that were  it  not a  matter of  necessity or  the premise of pious women, it would result in great corruption.

Almost every day we hear of terrible stories in homes due to women going to work, and so forth. A woman who worked in a company got to know a man through her workplace. The outcome was that when her husband traveled, she received that man in her home when he was not present. All began in the workplace.

Therefore, a woman  going  to  work  is a dangerous matter and must be given  rules  and  the  orders  of Islamic  legislation must be taken into account.

The biggest goal and wish of the enemies of Allah such as the secularists and people like them are to figure out how to get the woman out of her home. That  is why we find  that they  are  so keen  on women  working, and  by that, they  are  trying  to  destroy the last stronghold of the Islamic  society.

Seventh: Keenness on educating and disciplining the child from a young age:

Negligence in caring for a child during their young age usually leads to their   becoming deviants in the future, because our society is filled with moral corruption. This is the case if the child is neglected, so how about if the parent themselves are those corrupting them? Reforming children begins at a young age.  If  they get older,  the  train  of  reform will have  passed, unless  Allah the  Exalted chooses  to favor  whomever  He Wills through His Mercy.

A father once came to Shaykh Ibn Baaz, may Allah have mercy on him, complaining, and said:  “I have children that never pray.  I advised them, spoke to them, admonished them, and cursed them about this, but to no avail. What should I do?” The Shaykh, may Allah have mercy on him, said:  “Advise them. When they reach ten years old, he should hit them until they reach puberty.  As  for   at   the  time   of  puberty,  then afterwards,  hitting  does   not  benefit,  and   it  only  results  in hatred; also, the  son might respond and hit their  parents twice as hard  as they  hit  them.” Look at the deep understanding of this Imam, and how he knew that children, after reaching the age of puberty, have also passed the age of reformation.

An elderly  man  on  once  said:  “My daughter goes  out to  the street alone,  hails  a taxi  and  rides  it.  I do not know where she goes or where she comes from. I admonished her but she did not listen to what I said. I spoke to her mother about it, but she and her mother screamed at me and said:  ‘This is how we live! Leave us alone!’  So, what should I do?”

To this we respond: now, after the period of education and raising them  correctly has  passed, you wish to try  and  advise and  order  them,  and   you  wish  to  be  obeyed? Raising and teaching children occurs best when they are young. When the young person is raised on something, they grow old doing that thing. We should fear Allah the Exalted with regard to our children and should begin teaching them when they are young, and before they enter a stage wherein they do not accept our advice or guidance.

Such a person should not despair in the Mercy of Allah the Exalted. He should continuously call them and advise them. He should also vary his methods. Thus, he should invite them sometimes, with a tape, other times through speaking to them, other times through a book, and other times through asking one of the righteous women in his family to talk to them. They should  persist until  Allah the  Exalted rectifies their  affairs, or Allah  the   Exalted allows  a  matter to  proceed that  He  had predestined.