I have been divorced 8 years ago. After many tries, I was able to persuade my ex-husband to take me back in marriage, but I fear to fail again although I did desperate attempts to get him back until I got sick.
After reconciliation, I am afraid to fail again in my life which took me almost 8 years of tries and invocations to get him back.
My parents do not approve that I go back to him and whenever I mention the subject, I find them do not like that, however they do not stop me to go back to him. Could you kindly advise?!
As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).
Dear Muslim sister, the details which you have mentioned in your message are not quite clear.
You have mentioned that you were divorced 8 years ago then you mentioned that you spent 8 years in getting him back, were you divorced directly after marriage?
Then you mentioned this phrase: "desperate attempts to get him back. After reconciliation, I am afraid to fail in my life which took me 8 years," do you mean that after your sickness, your ex-husband came back to you?
What I understood from your message is that you have succeeded in getting your ex-husband back in marriage after 8 years and your parents do not approve this but they do not stop you as long as you want so, then you are afraid to fail and you are asking for advice.
Dear sister, I do not know anything about your husband, and I will answer you in the limit of what I have understood from your message.
Therefore, my advice to you is to get rid of that feeling of failure. You have to benefit from your past experience which resulted in the failure of your marriage, thereby you shall have a successful experiment by the will of Allah.
Think well about what made your past experiment failure. Avoid these reasons and take into account the change of time.
These changes should add to your experience, and the eight years you had spent witnessed rapid changes in the Saudi social system; and some of these changes may be for your own good, so try to use them for your own good and success.
As for your parents, they pity you but they will feel happy if you are happy. It is part of intelligence, wisdom, and good treatment for them to know their reasons for disapproving your return to your ex-husband. Speak to them nicely and calmly, and make their opinion a guide for you to have a successful relationship.
Bear in mind that there is no perfect man, and every human being has defects, but in the opposite, he has positives, and a smart wife knows how to invest the positives of her husband in favor of her marital life and ignore the negatives without falling under oppression.
Moreover, she should do her best to affect him nicely to change his bad habits and negatives.
I shall narrate to you a story that my mother used to tell me:
A mother asked her son who has newly married about his relationship with his wife and whether he got along with her or not? The son answered: Yes mother, but she has some bad habits which I am trying to change. The mother said: I advise you not to change them, otherwise she will be different from the person you loved.
We need to love each other without conditions.
It is appropriate for you, dear, to read an article entitled (unconditional love).
Keep to invoking Allah and resort to Him, for He is the Lord of all reasons and their causer, and the one in whose hand is all matters.
May Allah grant you success in this world as well as in the Hereafter.