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Home / Counsels / Social

A girl is trying to draw closer to me

Sheikh Khalid `Abdul-Mun`im Ar-Rifa`y

Published On: 7/4/2015 A.D. - 17/6/1436 H.   Visited: 4625 times     


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Question

As-Salamu `Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

I am a religious young man who keep on Salah, thanks to Allah. I am 18 years old. I met a girl who was studying with me in the department. I consider her like my sister, but she shows the feelings of love and adoration toward me and I cannot avoid her.

She started to draw nearer and nearer until we reached the stage of real love. The matter did not stop at that point but developed to include touches, and I am afraid to fall into adultery, so advise me?

I have another question: In the section where I study, there is a group of colleagues, who insult Allah, and I hate that; so what should I do?

May Allah reward you the best.

Answer

All praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, upon his family, his Companions, and those who follow him.

Thanks to Allah who guided you to true religion and made you keep to Salah and fear to violate the sanctity of Allah's Limits. I warn you, O sonny, against listening to that reckless girl who will drive you away from the right path. So, escape from her as the Messenger of Allah advised, as you are in real danger which requires power and firmness to close the gate of evil. Keep away from that girl because approaching her is a real danger. Beware of showing leniency with her, but rebuke her, and do not allow her to approach you so as not to become weak. Control yourself as much as you can and disagree your whim and Satan. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our Paths (i.e. Allâh's Religion - Islâmic Monotheism). And verily, Allâh is with the Muhsinûn (good doers)." [Surat Al `Ankabut: 69].

Allah (Exalted be He) says: "But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. * Verily, Paradise will be his abode." [Surat An-Nazi`at: 40 - 41].

Allah (Exalted be He) says: "And if an evil whisper from Shaitân (Satan) tries to turn you away (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allâh. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower." [Surat Fussilat: 36].

You have done well and were truthful in your saying: I fear to fall into adultery.

Your pure natural disposition and mind are in harmony with the pure Shari`ah which states that whoever circles around a sanctuary is about to fall into it, therefore Allah (may He be Exalted) prohibited looking between men and women except for a necessity. Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is Well-Acquainted with what they do. * And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.)" [Surat An-Nur: 30 - 31].

Imam Muslim reported in his Sahih that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked about a sudden look. He said: "Turn away your sight."

Imam Ahmad reported in Al Musnad that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Do not give a second look, for you may be allowed the first but not the second."

The Hadith is about looks in general, so what about relationship, talk, and secret meeting? It will turn into a sinful relationship no doubt, so save yourself. Allah (Glory be to Him) blocked the way of seduction before His Servants so as not to regret after the time had elapsed and before they fail to control their hearts. He says: "O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytan (Satan), then, verily he commands Al-Fahsha' (i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.)), and Al-Munkar (disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam, etc.)). And had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allah purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower." [Surat An-Nur: 21].

Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "O you who believe! Answer Allâh (by obeying Him) and (His) Messenger when he (peace be upon him) calls you to that which will give you life, and know that Allâh comes in between a person and his heart (i.e. He prevents an evil person to decide anything). And verily, to Him you shall (all) be gathered." [Surat Al Anfal: 24].

He also said: "And We shall turn their hearts and their eyes away (from guidance), as they refused to believe therein for the first time, and We shall leave them in their trespass to wander blindly." [Surat Al An`am: 110].

You should act according to what you have learned about the ugliness of mixture so that Allah would make your heart firm on the truth. Also beware of disobeying Allah for it weakens the truth and may remove it ultimately. The Ayah of Surat Al Anfal indicated that those who lag behind quick response may not be secure of changing their heart; so they cannot respond anymore as a punishment to abandoning the truth after it has become evident.

Allah (Glory be to Him), the Creator, who knows His Creatures and the nature of their creation is the one who prohibits that. The one who created men and women knows that women arouse sedition and desire in the hearts, so what about our mean and vile time in which seditions spread, lusts are aroused easily, and desires aggravate?! How would be the case when everything stirs sedition, arouses desires, moves lusts, and awakens intensive sexual torridity?

Dear son, ponder over the Hadith of An-Nawwas ibn Sam`an (may Allah be pleased with him) who narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Allah gave the parable of the Straight Path as having walls on either side with several open doors over which curtains hang down. At the head of the path is one who invites people saying: O people enter the (Straight) Path and do not leave it. Another one is inviting from the bottom of the Path. Whenever a person wants to open any of these doors, the latter inviter says to him: Woe to you, do not open it because if you open it, you shall enter. The Straight Path is Islam, the walls are the limits set by Allah (Glory be to Him), the open doors are the prohibited things of Allah, the caller on the head of the path is the Book of Allah (Glory be to Him), and the caller over the path is the admonisher (an angle) from his Lord."

You may also ponder over the Hadith of `Imran ibn Husayn that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Let him who hears of the Dajjal (Antichrist) go far from him for I swear by Allah that a man will come to him thinking he is a believer and follow him because of confused ideas roused in him ibn him." [Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawud].

So, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) prohibited any illegal inclination or leaning to women. He also showed that people will come to Antichrist to obey him because of the doubts and problematic matters which he shall show such as sorcery, giving life to dead people, and so on; hence that one shall be a disbeliever while he does not know.

It was reported in Sahih Al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "There will be afflictions (and at the time) the sitting person will be better than the standing one, and the standing one will be better than a walking one, and the walking will be better than the running. And whoever will look towards those afflictions, they will overtake him. So, whoever can find a place of protection or refuge from them, should take shelter in it."

These Hadiths and others show the serious danger of seditions, exhorting people to avoid them, and escaping them because the volume of evil and sedition shall be according to attaching to them. It is your duty to seek for a secure place where you will be safe of seditions because the one who will subject to these seditions shall be defeated and destroyed.

As for insulting Allah, it is a clear disbelief, so beware not to deal with those students, advise them kindly, and explain to them the danger of what they are doing, and if they do not cease, report them to teachers.

May Allah guide you to goodness and make your heart firm on it.

 



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