The role of pardon in marital life

"And to forego (and give her the full Mahr) is nearer to At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness)." [Surat Al Baqarah: 237]. Conflict may be permissible in financial partnerships, however they should be abandoned, but it is not deniable that a person does not reckon his partner in business.

Moreover, he has the right to stop him at every small and big matter so as not to waste rights, and relationships become critical. However, if these conflicts take place in social and human relationships, they will be not permissible but awful because it is necessary to pardon and forgive.

Few are those who do not pardon, overlook, or forget because unless for pardon, relationships between people shall be tense, sensitive, and based on permanent dispute.

You should ponder over Allah's Saying: "And to forego (and give her the full Mahr) is nearer to At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness)." [Surat Al Baqarah: 237].

This is a part of an Ayah which speaks about the relationship between a man and his wife in the time of divorce before having sexual intercourse and after the imposition of Mahr (mandatory gift to a bride from her groom).

Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed to them the Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), then (pay) half of that (Mahr), unless they (the women) agree to forego it, or he (the husband), in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to forego (and give her full appointed Mahr). And to forego (and give her the full Mahr) is nearer to At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness). And do not forget liberality between yourselves. Truly, Allâh is All-Seer of what you do." [Surat Al Baqarah: 237].

Allah (Glory be to Him) mentioned pardon and exhorted the people to practise it while talking about divorce and separation between spouses who had not a sexual relationship, thus they never had a kind treatment to maintain at divorce, so how would be the case in different situations?

As-Sa`dy (may Allah bestow mercy on his soul) said in his Tafsir (exegesis): If you divorced your wives before having sexual intercourse with them and after the imposition of Mahr, divorced women should have half of Mahr and you shall have the other half.

This should be done as long as there is no pardon or forgiveness by giving up her right to her husband if her pardon is accepted because Allah says: "Or he (the husband), in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to forego (and give her full appointed Mahr)."

Then Allah exhorted the people to forgive and pardon because the one who does so is more pious as pardon expands the chest and because a person should not deprive himself of benevolence and good deeds, or forgets the perfection which is the highest degree of kind treatment.

Treating people is divided into two degrees: either obligatory justice, which is: Taking what is obligatory and giving what is obligatory or benevolence, which is: giving what is less than obligatory and overlooking one's rights.

It is not permissible for a person to forget that great merit not even for sometimes, especially between you and the person whom you deal with because Allah will reward the well-doers with benevolence and generosity; therefore Allah says: "Certainly, Allâh is All-Seer of what you do." [1] If pardon lost from the marital life, it will become critical and conflicts increase, and Allah knows the consequence of this relationship.

is not worthy as long as the determination is lost from both parties; when someone mistakes, the other should forgive. Of course, so as not to turn the entire life to wrong practices, pardon should not be for everything. Some mistakes need a gentle reproof, censures, or punishment, but the absence of pardon is not acceptable because who is the person who does not commit a mistake, and who is the person who does good only?

One of the most important fruits of pardon between the spouses are: Increasing of love, strengthening the relationship, imprinting mutual respect, and acceptance of wrong.

Pardon in marital life has a special taste, so when a wife admits her mistake or neglects in something then apologizes for her husband and he accepts the apology, they both feel happy.

The wife made him feel that she did not mean to make a mistake and negligence and the wife returns happy by the pardon of her husband because he understood her situation and did not take her mistake as an excuse to harm her.

Likewise a wife who finds that her husband neglects her rights unintentionally, by doing this he has committed a mistake, but the wise wife does not trouble her husband even without submitting his apology, so how [will it be] when he apologizes?

Pardon is indispensable for both spouses, otherwise life will be like hell. The need for pardon becomes important when they both realize the following matters: Infallibility is impossible for both spouses, long life with one another, and knowing the different conditions of each one: contentment, anger, joy, and sadness.

Pardon should be applied in many fields: As for religion and transgressing the Shari`ah limits, there is no pardon in them and pardon is not acceptable.

Taking into consideration the importance of wisdom, good preaching, and patience for the call and rearing, but this is something different from pardon.

I ask Allah to grant us pardon and forgiveness in this world as well as in the Hereafter.

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. And peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and all his Companions.