Forbidden relationships via Internet

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).

May Allah protect you, my dear sister and welcome in Al Alukah Network.

I do not know whether your question is about how to inform your mother about the matter or about the right of a mother to know these things or about how to get rid of these relationships in general?

Anyway, we have to realize the importance of immediate cutting off these relationships which have become of great danger because you are afraid that your mother know and your fear of the scandal of worldly life which is not worthy in compare to the scandal of the Hereafter.

First, let us admit that it is a dangerous matter that should stop immediately, and its danger is not limited to your afterlife but rather extends to the worldly life and affects it negatively whether at the psychological or social level.

Second, dear sister, you have to correct the intention because what had happened to your sister put you in a critical situation, did not it?

Your mother is a human being and telling her about the matter will complicate the matter and will cause embarrassment to you as well as psychological disturbance, so how will be the case before your lord who owns all matters? How will be the case before the One who is able to do everything? How will be the case before the One who granted us eyes, ears, tongues...etc? Should not we feel shy and fear of Him?

The cause of cutting off these relationships is because they are forbidden before being for the sake of so and so because the One who prohibited them is more entitled to be worshipped and more entitled to be feared.

Third, it is not hidden from you the look of young people, including the boys you are talking to, to every girl speaks to them.

Many of them announce publically that they do not respect the girls they have just spoken to as soon as they hang up the phone or sign out the chat.

Other boys say: I shall record her name under the title whore, trivial, or cheap among other bad titles and names that poor girl would not imagine because of the sweet tongue of those wicked boys.

Knowing all these matters may facilitate things for you and behave the way before you to end all these relationships for good.

Fourth, many girls think that speaking about these relationships and informing their families is a type of repentance or it might relieve them of the torture of consciousness.

This look is weird because it contains a clear violation to the Hadith that was reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim: "All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the Mujahirin (those who commit a sin openly or disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, 'O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,' though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knowing about his sin) and in the morning he removes Allah's screen from himself."

So, the connection between youth and their families will be bad when their children tell them.

My advice to you is to conceal the matter and do not confess to your mother, moreover there is no harm to deny when she asks you directly by using double entendre meanings.

Fifth, your young sister is living the adolescence stage or has just passed it, and people in such stage see the virtual friendship via (The Internet) or mobile phones a great solace or a kind of compensation or as a result of suppressing feelings inside houses which result in the psychological remoteness between a mother and her girls.

A mother often does not speak to her daughters nor share their concerns. She does not try to build up the bridges of real friendship between them. She finds it embarrassing to share some funny games or exchange jokes with them.

Thus, the emotional thirst takes place where girls need someone to be closer to them, narrate their concerns to him or her, and find with him or her a wide scope of dealing, but there is no good in those who do not know her personally, therefore their feet slip step by step.

I advise you to sit with your mother and speak with her openly and tell her that you and your sister need more attention to water that thirst which a girl in your age suffers.

You may speak only about your sister if you feel shy to speak about yourself, moreover when your mother knows that you care for your sister practically, she might be not interested in searching after you and restore the trust in herself which I hope that you deserve it.

Sixth, you should take a good lesson of that situation and pause with yourself as well as your sister a serious and open pause for revision, try to continue your relationships, and review with her some painful realistic stories from the Internet or some books which reveals the painful ends to avoid troubles that many girls fell in.

Try to replace these relationships with other legitimate relationships by contacting righteous Muslim sisters from Islamic sites and the way is easy.

Seventh: Psychologists say: A human being is a mixture between strength and weakness, fear and courage, contentment and acceptance, generosity and miserliness, and other opposites, however these qualities vary from one person to another. Knowing these facts makes a person more aware of himself, and the changes that happen to him leave people in confusion.

A girl needs someone to tell him her worries and concerns or hears from him the words of praise. The reason for that condition is her weakness and low self-confidence which has surpassed her, so she is looking for someone to support her by all possible means through expanding the area of friends and kinship and helping others.

All these matters are permissible to restore self-confidence and have the power necessary to make us walk straight in this life.

Finally:

The English writer (Butler) says: "Youth have wings to fly with quickly in the fancy world, so they do not see before them but all pleasures and do not wish but hopes and wishes."

Be keen to benefit from this golden stage of your life because only few people who realize the importance of that stage before it goes.

May Allah guide you, protect you against the devils of humans and jinn, and make the people benefit from you.