I commit forbidden things for the sake of marriage

Dear Muslim sister, As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

Welcome to Alukah Network. I am so pleased with your decision to consult us after the chaos you have been through.

My dear, marriage is the ultimate goal of every female, a demand of every young man, and natural desire for love and lawful sexual intercourse in order to beget children and maintain the continuation of mankind. Moreover, by marriage spouses achieve self-comfort and peace, chastity and protection for both men and women.

I do not blame you for your desire to marry and become a wife, but the problem lies in your way of searching and following cheaters and liars. You still in young age and girls like you are still in schools.

The worst is that you know your mistake but you insist to repeat it again and again, believing they would marry you. They only deceive you to spend a nice time then abandon you to find another and so on.

Fear Allah regarding yourself and estimate the precious soul which Allah created and purified. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "Indeed he succeeds who purifies his ownself (i.e. obeys and performs all that Allâh ordered, by following the true Faith of Islâmic Monotheism and by doing righteous good deeds)." [Surat Ash-Shams: 9].

Whoever purifies himself by obeying Allah and purifying himself from vice and bad manners. [Ibn Kathir].

A Muslim girl is keen to her Hijab and chastity. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "But to refrain (i.e. not to discard their outer clothing) is better for them." [Surat An-Nur: 60]. The entire world boasts of her chastity and purity. She prevents any hand to reach or touch her and seeks refuge from Allah from her evil and the evil of Satan and humans.

My dear, declare your sincere repentance, make up your mind not to go back to these sins, and follow this great rule: "Whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah, Allah would make it up for him."

Here is an amazing story stresses the same meaning: Al Mubarak was a slave and his master freed him. He worked as a worker in his master's garden, and one day the owner of the garden came along with some friends and commanded Al Mubarak to bring some sweet pomegranate. Al Mubarak brought them some, but when the owner of the garden tasted it, he said to Al Mubarak, do not you know the sweet from the sour? Al Mubarak said: You did not give me permission to eat therefrom to distinguish the sweet from the sour.

The garden's owner thought that Al Mubarak is deceiving him and said: You guard the garden since such and such then you say that?

When he asked some neighbors about Al Mubarak, they testified for his righteousness and goodness. The garden's owner came to him and asked: If I want to give my daughter in marriage to someone, who will be? Ibn Al Mubarak said: The Jews give their daughters in marriage to rich people, whereas Christians give their daughters in marriage to handsome men, but Muslims give their daughters in marriage to righteous people, so choose of them?

He said: I shall not find someone better for my daughter than you. Al Mubarak accepted and married her then he was granted children among them was `Abdullah ibn Al Mubarak (may Allah bestow mercy on his soul).

It is strange that he kept himself away from pomegranate then he was granted the garden along with its lady.

Have you placed a goal for your life?

If the answer is "no", start now, place a target and try to achieve it. Engage yourself with reading, studying, or work. Be careful to fast on Mondays, Thursdays, and the 13^th, the 14^th, and the 15^th of every Arabic month. Invoke Allah frequently to grant you a good husband and allude to your paternal and maternal aunts or those whom you trust their religion with your desire to marry a good person, and put your trust in Allah that He shall grant you what you ask for.

I ask Allah to grant you guidance and firmness.