What is love?

One Ayah from the Glorious Qur'an defines love as it was not defined before, it is the Ayah of intimacy and mercy in Surat Ar-Rum where Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: "And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." [Surat Ar-Rum: 21] from which we benefit three things which are the pillars of the definition of love, which are: First, it is one the signs of Allah. Second, it consists of love and mercy. Third, it connects with marriage which comes later.

Naturally, these benefits are valuable except in case we supposed that the feeling mentioned in the Ayah is the same of what we call love and not something else. Some people believe that intimacy and mercy between spouses is the alternative of pure love between unmarried male and female. I am not convinced with this saying because what was mentioned in the Ayah and the meaning of love are one thing, and the only difference is that marriage is lawful and relation outside marriage is not, so could love be one of Allah's Signs! If we consider the meaning of love and its origin without impurities, we will find it one of Allah's Signs because without this weird passion, we cannot imagine this marital relationships and how they would develop to keep the continuity of mankind. Without the love of a husband to his wife and the love of the wife to her husband, man and woman could not stay together under one ceiling for more than the season of marriage as it is the case at most animals. Thus, love is one of the signs of Allah because it is a mixture between two elements as mentioned in the Ayah: Intimacy and mercy which is the second pillar in the definition of love.

As for intimacy, it is for the interest of the lover, whereas mercy is for the interest of the beloved because intimacy is taking, whereas mercy is giving, and love is taking and giving. When we say that a man loves his wife, we mean that he takes his love to her and give her part of it, he takes tranquility to her and gladness for seeing her, and gives kindness, loyalty, and security to her.

As for the third pillar in the definition of love, it is the connection with marriage. The mention of intimacy and mercy in the Ayah are correlated with marriage, so love is made to reach marriage and continues after marriage. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said about two loving mates: "The only solution for loving mates is marriage." But love should not be the basic rule because the rule is love is made as a preparation for marriage, accordingly Shari`ah and logic entail the precedence of love to marriage. If you ask an imam in a masjid or a philosopher in a tower, you will hear the same answer from both provided that the understanding of marriage is extracted from the Ayah. The imam shall say that love, expressing it, and acting according to it should come after marriage because he was only created for it. The philosopher shall say the same because love exists between married couples, whereas before marriage there is no love.

Love is one of the signs of Allah and one of His Great Mercies. Love is a gift to house. Love is taking and giving. Love is intimacy and mercy that encompass marriage from everywhere. We ak Allah to benefit us from His Gifts and the goodness that exists in the world, and we seek Allah from approaching evil.