Disobedient Behaviour in the Child - Its Causes and Remedy (4/4)

Unemployment in the society

The man, who has a wife and children but is unemployed without any source of income or wealth and property, is the head of a family that is in ruins. His children will turn towards illegal activities. Sometimes, the head of the family and its other members conceive means of unlawful income. They incline towards stealing, robbery and bribery. In turn, this leads the nation towards destruction. Islam has the remedy for unemployment whether it is outside the control of the unemployed or self-imposed from laziness and lethargy. The unemployment that is outside the control of the unemployed is corrected in two ways:

1. It is incumbent upon the government to provide its people with a decent means of livelihood.

2. It is binding upon the society and the nation to assist an unemployed person. The government is obliged to provide opportunities of employment to the people. When an Ansar requested the Holy Prophet for aid, he asked him to desist from begging. He auctioned the sackcloth and the bowl that the Ansar had on him for two dirhams. Then, he said to the man, “Buy the necessities of your house with one dirham and with the other buy an axe”. The Holy Prophet himself attached a wooden handgrip to the axe; then to the man he said, “Sell the wood you chop with the axe and do not come to me for the next fifteen days”. The Ansar returned after fifteen days having amassed ten dirham. He bought clothes and eatables with the money. The Holy Prophet said, “Hard work and labour is better for you than begging. On the Day of Judgement a black blot appears on the face of the person who begs”[1].

When fellow men are without means of livelihood, people must help them out. He who has a spare conveyance or provision must give it to him who does not have any conveyance or provision.[2] It is not the conduct of a believer that he fills his own belly while his neighbour is hungry. [3]If anyone dies of hunger or lack of attention, while he is among wealthy people, then Allah the Exalted is exonerated of all liability towards these wealthy people[4].

Islam prescribes strict observation of individuals whose unemployment is self-imposed.

When it is confirmed that an individual is unemployed because of his own indolence then he must be reprimanded. If he does not mend himself then he may be put to work forcibly.

Hazrat Umar asked a group of people, “Who are you?” They replied, “We are resigned to the will of Allah and have placed our trust in Him”. Hazrat Umar may Allah be pleased with him said, “You lie! He is resigned to the will of Allah who sows the seed and then places his trust in Him. It is not tawakkal to sit with hands tied. Gold and silver do not descend from the sky”. Hazrat Umar prevented the poor and the destitute from being a burden on people. He encouraged hard work and fruitful employment. Zakat and charity are distributed for momentary relief, not to cease work and remain idle. However, the care of the old and handicapped is the duty of the State. On seeing an old Jew beg, Hazrat Umar gave him alms from his own resources and then had him and others like him, supervised through the State Treasury[5].

When parents ignore the training of their children

The main cause of children being spoiled is the lack of interest of parents in their education. A great responsibility rests on the shoulders of the mother. She is like a madrasah. Like the father, she is also accountable. The child is constantly with her until he attains manhood. A woman is the keeper of the house of her husband. She will be questioned about her subjects.

The father must give a helping hand to her in upbringing their children. That child is surely an orphan, whose father and mother are occupied in other affairs and overlook their liabilities in the training of their child. Such children turn out to be criminals and vagabonds, more so if the parents are astray too and engaged in vagrancy. When children are nourished with the milk of unchaste women, they will become lewd like their mothers.

In case the parents are derelict in their responsibilities to their children, they will deserve a painful torment[6].

The Holy Prophet has described man as the supervisor of his house who will be questioned about his subjects. He designated the mother as the keeper of the house of her husband and held her answerable for those in her charge[7].

The Holy Prophet has ordered that the children and the family be taught manners, brought up well[8], made to act on the injunctions of Shari‘ah and kept away from unlawful things.

He described this as a scheme to protect oneself from the Fire of Hell. [9]He said: Imbibe in children love for me and my family and teach them the recital of the Noble Qur’an because they who carry the Qur’an will be under the shadow of the Throne[10].

The child becomes an orphan

A child is also liable to degradation when it has no parent to love and look after him. Islam advises us to look after orphans. We must not be cruel to them. We must treat them kindly.[11] This will ensure that the children are worthy citizens, who do not sway from the right way. When a loving hand strokes the head of an orphan, its owner gains a virtue against every hair on the head. [12]The guardian merits entry into Paradise.[13] He will enjoy the company of the Holy Prophet. [14]

These then are the basic and main factors that breed disobedience and rebellion in children. You must rectify them. Follow the solution suggested by Islam so that your child turns out to be pure of soul and heart and develops virtuous qualities.