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Home / Counsels / Psychological

I want a solution

Dr. Yasir Bakkar

Published On: 15/2/2014 A.D. - 14/4/1435 H.   Visited: 4345 times     


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Question

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

I love you for the sake of Allah, O our sheikh, and I would like to ask you about my problem:

I have been married for a year and a half but I could not have sexual intercourse with my wife.

I am religious and my wife is devout too. I live in France and I try to keep to my Salah five-times a day in the masjid, moreover I do my best to keep away from forbidden matters.

I have not committed adultery during my entire life —thanks to Allah—, and every day I invoke Allah in my Salah and try to stay up at night for Salah to solve this problem.

This is a test from Allah, but Sheikh: Is this a kind of envy, sorcery, an evil eye, or I may have committed a sin because the period has become too long and I feel that something is missing because without sexual intercourse our life has become full of troubles.

Whenever I want to have sexual intercourse with my wife, her vagina becomes tight and I cannot complete the sexual process.

Finally, I want a solution for my problem, may Allah reward you.

Answer

Dear valued brother, As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

Welcome to Alukah Website.

I have read your letter with great interest, and I can feel the confusion and distraction you are experiencing. Your problem is focused on the following points:

First: Disability to deflower your wife and have sexual intercourse with her has many causes:

The matter may be related to the thickness of the hymen which needs a medical surgery, and I do not know whether you consulted a doctor or not?

Second: The matter may be related to a severe constriction in the muscles of the vagina that prevents the completion of the sexual intercourse which is a well-known disease called (Vaginismus); where severe constriction happens to the muscles of vagina without the will of the wife and leads to the incompletion of the sexual intercourse without an obvious reason for this problem.

Some doctors offer some suggestions as causes for this problem such as the lack of wife's desire in her consciousness, her indifference to sex because of her strict upbringing or for a previous scene she saw or because she fears the completion of the process etc.

The therapy must be done through a psychotherapist or a specialist in sexual treatment who he can put a schedule to overcome this problem.

Third: The matter may be connected with your erectile dysfunction which is easy to solve after the appearance of many medial drugs to improve the process.

These are the three most important causes that explain your case, I hope you discover them more and reach the correct diagnosis with the will of Allah.

Believe me, what you are suffering has nothing to do with sins or something else, but they are well-known diseases that have been recorded in medical books and may happen to any person.




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